Where You Least Expect It
by DaniWrites
Summary: Bella hates her sorority, and gets set up with Edward as a tutor. Edward just screams dork-tastic. AH. I suck at summaries. M for language, mild drug use, and citrus.
1. Morning Routine

**A/N - so this is the first FF that I'm posting. I've written a few, none that I think are really worth it, they're more just writing exercises, but I thought I was ready, so I'm gonna go ahead and have at it. I appreciate ALL reviews, even the ones that aren't so nice. **

**PS - Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, blah blah blah. I do, however, own a dog who eats bugs until he gets the worst farts you've ever smelled (or heard) gag me. **

1 – morning routine

"Belllaaahhh!"

_Oh please, oh please let that horribly whiney sound be a dream. _

"Bella! Now!" The obnoxious voice from before had turned awfully demanding. _Definitely not a dream. Fuck. _

"C'mon Bella. We've got another rousing day of classes and sorority bull shit. Remember the social tomorrow? You have yet to find a date to bring."

I groaned. "Alice, go away. I'm capable of getting my ass out of bed in time for class." I added with a whisper, "And I'll figure out that stupid social and a date."

"You are _not_. Now get up." The voice of my pushy and overbearing best friend was a lot closer now, right by my head that was still hidden beneath my cozy comforter.

"No." I said as stubbornly as a toddler.

The covers were rudely ripped off of me, exposing my barely covered body. Sometimes sleeping in camisole tank tops and boy shorts had its disadvantages.

"Yes. Now." _SMACK!_

"Alice! That stings!" I slowly stretched myself out before hobbling out of my bed and into my shared bathroom, all while rubbing my sore ass from Alice's slap.

If I had to share a bathroom with anyone but Alice, I would've already steam rolled their ass. She made bathroom sharing easy. She had everything organized and decorated so perfectly that our tiny bathroom looked massive. Like something straight out of the Ritz Carlton.

As I brushed my teeth, Alice came up behind me and started fishing through a drawer in our little rolling cart. The bathroom had very limited space, with a door leading from my bedroom, and hers. When you walked in from my bedroom, the first thing you saw was the tiny vanity and sink that was so small it only had one cabinet underneath. To the right was a toilet, nothing fancy there, and to the left was a very basic bath tub. The door to Alice's room was diagonal from my door, next to the tub.

Alice had gotten the rolling cart from some beauty whole-sale place she was a member of, and I always swore it was the best purchase for college she had ever made. The thing even acted as a power strip. You plugged it in to the wall with the cord from the bottom, and across the top were ten outlets. Pretty much every other girl in the sorority house was jealous, but Alice refused to take them to the whole-sale place.

Call us mean, nasty, bitchy; whatever you want, but truth be told neither of us really _liked_ our sorority sisters. We only joined because of the pressure from our mother's, who had both joined the same sorority back in "their day" and demanded it of us. The only reason we were even asked to live in the house was because we were legacies and our moms were president and vice president of the sorority. That _kind of_ made us a hot commodity in this place. I'm not gonna lie, seeing my mother's picture on the wall of the place I lived was a little strange.

I was pulled out of my reverie by a sharp yank at the back of my head. "Damn, Alice! What the fuck!"

"Bella, I don't know what the hell you do in your sleep, but you wake up with the _worst_ knots in your hair. I don't know what I'm going to do with this rat's nest today."

"How about you let me dress and groom myself, I really _can_ do it myself."

"Well sure, when you're talking about the basics. But honey, you've got to get yourself a man for the social tomorrow night, and as beautiful as you are, you might have better luck if you play up your assets." She emphasized the word 'assets' but cupping and pushing up my boobs. "See there. You _so_ need a water bra."

"Alice!" I slapped her hands away, "I don't need a water bra. For the millionth time, drop it!"

I rinsed out my mouth, walked into my room, and slammed the bathroom door.

"I love you too, Bellsie!" Alice yelled through the door.

The worst part of my morning that day, was knowing exactly how right Alice was. I hadn't had a real date in God knows how long, sure, a good quick lay here and there from some local frat boys, but actual romance? Yeah, it'd been way too long. I stared into my closet trying to figure out exactly what I would wear that would entice the right guy for that stupid social that I was required to attend. The only thing I was absolutely positive of was that the dark, tight jeans in my closet. I had no idea what to pair with them.

I slid the jeans on, and stared at my closet for probably five more seconds before I sighed and walked across my small room to open the bathroom door.

"I knew you'd need me." My smug little, black-spiky-haired best friend said. "Come on." She grabbed my hand and dragged me to her room.

One of the major draw backs about sorority house living was the small personal space. I knew for a fact that Alice and I could've gotten an apartment and had bigger bedrooms, but that meant paying rent. My dad sent me a little bit of money when he could, but the chief of police in a tiny Washington town did _not_ rake in the dough. My mom, on the other hand, had married a pretty wealthy sports agent when I was a kid. She sent me more than enough money to support myself every month, plus some play money on one condition: I join her beloved sorority, and be as involved as possible. That meant gladly taking the opportunity to live in the stupid house with fifteen other girls when it presented itself. And acting excited about it. _At least Alice got the invitation to live in the house too._

My mother set up the same arrangement for my brother, Emmett, but he had to join Phil's old fraternity. Phil was our "New Daddy". Don't get me wrong, he was a nice enough guy, but he was a bit too… enthusiastic… to take all at one time. Perfect for my mother, but he drove Emmett and me absolutely crazy. We tried not to mention New Daddy to our dad when we got to go home to visit. We know you're not supposed to have favorite parents, but we both got along with our father much better than our mother.

Alice also had a very similar arrangement from her mother. That wasn't exactly a surprise though, seeing as how our mothers were best friends since college and spoke regularly.

"Bella, hey," I focused my eyes on a tiny pale hand being waved in front of my face, "which shirt?"

She was holding up two deep blue shirts. One had a dangerously low V neck, which she assured I would be wearing a camisole underneath should I choose it. It was simple though, with just a small braid of the same colored fabric around the edges. All in all, it wasn't bad. The next was a loose fitted tank top with a racer style back that was layered with a white tank top underneath. The straps were 'standard tank style' or whatever you want to call it, so the white showed nicely under the blue. Both tank tops had a low scoop neck, though the white peeked out a tiny bit more than the blue.

"Alice… I'm not sure. What about a nice Social Distortion t shirt?"

"Bella, you came asking for help. These are your options. I suggest the tank tops."

Without another word, I grabbed the tank tops and threw them over my head. I turned to look in the full length mirror Alice had pinned to her door and took myself in.

"Not bad." I mumbled to myself.

I checked my watch and realized I was running late. I ran into my room and grabbed my ratty 'old school' sneakers and attempted to put them on (without socks because Lord knows I wouldn't be able to find a clean, matching pair) while hopping around my messy room looking for the paper I had outlined the previous night. That was a bad idea as I tripped over my laptop cord that was still plugged into the wall, even though the computer itself was in my messenger bag, and fell over sideways.

"Ow! Fuck! Ungh…" I grumbled a few other unintelligible phrases trying to get up before Rosalie, the sorority president came knocking on my door.

"Bella, sweetie, are you okay in there?"

"Go away! I'm fine!"

"Are you sure?" _No, I just like to lie to your big boobied, blond, French manicured ass. _

I got myself together and swung the door open, a bit too forcefully. "Yes, Rosalie. I. Am. Fine."

I didn't really have a reason to not like Rosalie. She was pretty decent, she was just too nice. The kind of nice that you just knew was painted on every morning along with ten inches of foundation.

"Okay honey, there's a cup of Starbucks on the counter for you, along with a pumpkin and cream cheese muffin."

_Aw! Damn!_ "Er… thanks Rose."

"No problem, I know that's your favorite and I had a pledge run out and get coffee and danishes for everyone. Hey, don't forget I set up that Calculus tutor for you and you're meeting with him today. Four pm, in the main library. He said he'd be at the 'round table to the direct left of the main entrance' if that helps."

"Oh, okay. Uh… thanks again for that." _Stupid Calculus_. I was going fail miserably if I didn't get that shit taken care of. And pronto.

I grabbed my coffee and muffin on the way out the door, with one shoe lace still untied.

**A/N SOOOOO... that's it for now, if you want more, don't worry. I write a lot, and quick. PS - loooookkkiiiinnn for a Beta. Someone who can deal with me and my dyslexia (no, I'm not making a joke. I'm actually dyslexic).**


	2. Nads in a Jar

**A/N Ssssoooo... I haven't gotten any reviews yet, not gonna lie though, wasn't expecting any. Especially with updating so quickly. I just HAD to get this chapter out. It was eating at me not too. Still lookin for a beta who can handle me and my dyslexia (no, I'm not makin a joke. I'm actually dyslexic) **

**I did get a notification that someone added my story as a fave, and I gotta be honest, I almost peed myself with excitment. **

**I do not own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. I do own about 15 gift cards with amounts smaller than $5 on them that I keep forgetting to throw away or use. **

2 – NADS IN A JAR

Every morning I was thankful that I lived close enough to campus that I could walk to school on nice days. The warm October air smelled like dried, dead pine needles. This was a smell I adored.

My family was originally from Florida, but when I was just a baby my father discharged from the military, and had been offered a position on the police force in Forks, WA; where he grew up. He decided he just had to take it and we all moved there. Emmett and I would go visit our grandparents in Ft. Lauderdale every summer for three weeks until they passed away when we were in high school, and we both knew that we had to go to Florida for college.

Emmett was seventeen months older than me, and a grade higher in school. He was the exact opposite of me. Big, brawny, athletic. He was the captain of our high school football and baseball teams, so it was no shock that he got a full scholarship to the University of Florida. It was a shock that I followed though. I was hoping for University of Central Florida, but I got wait-listed there and accepted right away to UF, so I followed in my big brother's giant foot steps.

I was average height, slim but not toned, with brown hair and brown eyes. Even with living in Florida I was still pretty fair, unless you considered the freckles that faintly peppered my nose and cheeks color.

When I got to my first class, I discovered (via hot pink post-it note) that my English Lit teacher had the flu, and class had been canceled. _Score!_ Unfortunately, I still had to hand in my outline to the teacher's assistant.

"Hey, Jane." I offered politely as I handed over my outline.

"Ms. Swan." Jane replied with a short nod of her head as she peered over her (probably fake) librarian-esque, black rimmed glasses.

"Okay, you _do_ know that you're not actually a teacher right?" Okay, sure. In hindsight that wasn't really the best thing to say to the person who would be grading the homework you _just_ turned in, but really, what else was I supposed to say?

Jane just stared at me furiously. I swear if smoke could've come out of her ears it would have.

"Uh… bye!" I called out as I half ran out of the hall.

I decided I'd take a few moments to have a cigarette and check my email in the quad and enjoy the weather rather than go back to the house. As usual there was an email from my dad and a few bad jokes my mother had forwarded to me. I automatically deleted those and went on to read the one from my dad.

Bella –

Hey there. How's school going? Emmett said things were going well for him, hard to believe he'll be graduating in just two more semesters. I went fishing with Billy last weekend and he told me that Jake was going to be checking out schools in Florida. Was hoping you could show him around. Jake said he'd give you gas money if you needed it. Don't worry, I'm asking E too, but Jake was always more your friend than his.

I snorted to myself. _Of course he was, the loser had some sort of crazy ass crush on me for years._

Your mom called and told me she'd be in Seattle for three weeks on business and wanted to get together for supper. I know, weird. Not sure what I'm going to tell her about that one. Hey, remember that Newton kid? He's back in town for a little while. Taking care of his parent's store while his dad is sick. That's something right there. Don't know why you were never interested in that boy.

_Um, because he's an ass hole?_

Well, that's all for now I guess. Let me know if you need anything.

Love, Dad

My dad's emails were usually short and to the point. He was a man of few words, and despised any technology that didn't involve fishing, baseball, football, or basketball. He tended to spout off nonsense about computers taking over the world when it got brought up, so it was a subject Emmett and I, as well as most of the town of Forks, learned to avoid.

The rest of my day past rather nicely. My weird-o Art History teacher decided the day was too nice to spend indoors, so I got to spend another entire class outside. Two thirty came around quickly so I walked home to work on some homework and re-pack my messenger bag for my tutoring session that would be at four.

"Hey baby doll." I heard from my bedroom door.

"Oh, hey Leah. I didn't realize anyone else was here."

She sighed and twisted a lock of her long black hair around her index finger. "Yeah I've been ordered to stay home and take the calls about tomorrow night's social. Do you have a date?"

"_No_ I don't have a date. Why does everyone ask that?!"

"Um, because we're supposed to bring a guest?" Leah's dark, deep set eyes looked offended.

"Sorry. No, no date. What about you?"

"Nope. Hey, don't you have a brother? Do you think you could set me up with him? Just for tomorrow night."

The last thing I really wanted to do was set my brother up with a girl who was pledging my sorority. Sure, he was single and Leah was really pretty and quite nice, but I just wasn't sure that was a road I'd be willing to venture. I mean, what if he decided he didn't like her? I'd be hearing "Belllaaaahhhh, why won't Emmett answer my calls?" and then be forced to answer with "Because you're a crazy bitch who calls twenty times a day and wants to keep his nads in a jar on your bedside table." and I could pretty much guarantee _no one_ in the house would like me very much after that. Well, maybe Alice would.

Before too much longer, it was time for me to leave for my tutoring session. I told Leah I'd think about talking to my brother as I walked out the door.

As I was walking into the main library, the toe of my shoe caught the threshold and I stumbled forward into the back of a tall, slim guy in a black t shirt. My bag came off my shoulder and spilled open, letting papers scatter all over the floor.

"Oomph! Shit, I'm sorry man! Are you okay? I totally didn't mean to just molest you in the library door way, I friggin' tripped…"

I couldn't get much more of my rant out because Tall Skinny Guy turned around and bent to help me gather my things. Not gonna lie, Tall Skinny Guy was an uber dork. I'm talking Class A, nerdy glasses, pencil behind his ear, cartoon character on his t shirt DORK. His black jeans were rather slim fitting and I noticed he was wearing a pair of combat boots, unlaced and all open, on his very large feet.

"It's cool." _Oh melt!_ How could such a nerdy boy have such an amazing sounding voice?

I turned my face to look back at him and noticed that behind his big glasses he had incredible green eyes. Like the color of magnolia leaves in the summer time. The insides around the pupils were a greenish yellow color and you could see the little grains of his iris' in them. His eyes bounced back and forth, no doubt looking into mine and I noticed my heart had started pounding in rhythm to the bouncing.

He finished picking up my papers and handed them to me. "Thank you." I mumbled.

I took a look around the library and got to the round table I would be meeting my tutor out. As I was getting my phone out to text Alice about Nerdy Boy's incredible eyes and voice, he sat down across from me.

"Wait, are you Bella?"

Ho. Ly. Fuck. Nerdy Boy was my _tutor?_ I was going to have to spend a minimum of three days a week across from this guy practically drooling on my home work thanks to those damn green eyes!

"Um, yes." I squeaked. _Good job there Bella._

"Oh, cool. Well, I'm Edward. Edward Cullen." He held his hand out for me to shake and at that moment, all I could do was stare at his hand with wide eyes. "Oooorrr not."

I quickly composed myself and reached my hand out to shake his before he could put it down completely. "Sorry about that. Got distracted."

When he placed his hand in mind, it felt warm and comfortable, and like it was molded to match mine. No other hand that I had ever held had felt more perfect that this dorky tutor's. I slowly let my eyes creep up his arm and noticed he wasn't quite as skinny as I had thought. His forearm and what I could see of his upper arm, even though they were slim, were very strong. You could even see a little bit of vein run across his forearm. I followed his arm up to his face and noticed his face was incredibly strong. His nose was a bit crooked, but perfectly un-perfect. He had a strong, squared off jaw with a dimple so small in his chin that it was almost unnoticeable. He had side burns down to the bottom of his adorable ears, and his auburn hair was longer than most guys tended to wear, and looked like it hadn't seen a comb in years. I loved it. I also loved that his eye brows didn't look waxed or plucked.

I could not _stand_ men who screwed with their eye brows. Get rid of a uni-brow if you've got it, but anything more than that and you're officially a woman. I let my vision widen for a moment and noticed that he was staring at our still-linked-hands, looking a little shocked. It was adorable. His perfectly sized lips (not thin and tiny, but not so big they'd take up your whole face in a kiss) were slightly parted and I could see the tip of his tongue resting against his bottom teeth, almost like he was sleeping. I noticed a little furrow between his eye brows and got curious.

"Everything, um… okay?" I asked sheepishly.

"Wha… huh? Yeah, yeah." He slowly took his hand away with his answer, almost like he didn't want to.

This was going to be the longest tutoring session _ever!_

**Reviews are better than nerdy Edward gettin nekkid! **


	3. Phone calls, lots of phone calls

**So this one's kiiiiiinnnndddaaa a short chap. Sorry folks, but I just hit a really good end point, and I had to leave it at that, otherwise it woulda just SUCKED. **

**First of all, I gotsta say WOOHOO! I'm in writers heaven. I've noticed quite a few of you lovely readers are adding my story as a fave. I was SO nervous about posting my writing that I almost didn't. Knowing it's made it to even one person's fave list is amazing. Now if only you people would review.... How about this, the more reviews I get, the more nekkid Edward you get. Does that work? **

**Secondly, I've GOT to give a lil shout out. JustForkIt... the girl is kick ass. She's got an incredible story called "The Honeymoon's Over" and I've read the damn thing twice cause it's so funny and awesome. I also have to give her a shout because she's the one who encouraged me to get my stories out in public in the first place. You can thank her by reading her story and reviewing. ;-) **

**As usual, I don't own Twilight... I DO own a 2 year old child who's banging on his bedroom door because he doesn't want to go to bed right now, though. **

3 – PHONE CALLS, LOTS OF PHONE CALLS

"Seriously Alice, the boy was hot." I said into my cell phone while walking home from the library.

"How hot?"

"Um, I wanted to do him right there on the library table. Is that hot enough?"

"Knowing your standards, not really. I don't know if I can allow this Bella. You've got horrible taste in men. Need I remind you of James and that whole fiasco?"

James was a skeezy guy I had dated my freshmen year and I cannot even begin to express how big a mistake that was. I dumped him after only four months when I found out that his favorite past time was slipping roofies into women's drinks at bars and taking them back to his place.

"Really, Alice. Even you would approve of Edward." I don't know why I was nodding, it's not like she could see me.

"I bet he's a virgin. From what you told me, he's got to be. Oooohhhh! Project! You could…"

I cut her off. "Alice! I am NOT setting some sick goal to take this poor boy's virginity! If I even brought it up I bet he'd have a friggin stroke! _I can't kill my tutor with sexual innuendo Alice!_"

"Uh-huh. When was the last time you got laid deary?"

"Three weeks ago."

"Was it good?"

"Not particularly, but I got off. That's what counts, right?"

"No, what's the point of sex if you can't enjoy it? I suggest you turn Edward into your own personal little love slave. Just think, you could practically program him to your needs!"

I had to admit, the idea _was_ appealing. My experience with virgins was that they were always looking to please and would take any pointers you could give them. The only thing that sucked about this whole ordeal was that if Edward was just a hot piece of meat and nothing else, I'd be in hell.

When you deflowered a boy, they clung to you like a lost fuckin' dog. They're all over you. They call you all the time asking why you don't return their calls, they practically beg you to go out with them, and I'm not gonna lie, they don't always get better at sex. It's like their brains are so overloaded with the favor you did for them, that they can't seem to let any more information in.

Mike Newton was the worst. The joker actually told me he loved me when I tried to break things off with him. The thing is I could only stand boring missionary style, two minute long sex (without orgasms I might add) for so long. I felt like a fourteen year old boy with how much I had to get myself off during those two short months.

I'd only allowed myself to deflower two more boys, and they weren't quite as bad as Newton, at least they didn't confess their love for me, but they were pretty sad nonetheless.

Now, if Edward was more than his good looks… well then that held promise. "I'm not sure Ali, I'll let you know what I decide though."

"I can't believe you've got the hots for Nerd Extraordinaire. You said his name was Cullen, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I've heard stuff about a Cullen. Kind of a weird-o. Rosalie said something about him being like, the smartest kid in school or something. I heard a few kids in my Psych class talk about him once. He's a real Einstein, quirky little habits and stuff to go with his brains."

"You're telling me this _now?!_ After you get me all hyped up with the promise of decent sex with him? What the hell are you on Alice!"

"Quirky brainiac does not equal a bad lay, Bella. Be real." I could almost hear her eyes rolling in that tiny little head of hers.

I sighed. "I'll be at the house in five."

"Bye!"

_Great. Just great._ My super-hot-nerdy tutor is some sort of creeper or something. Could today blow any harder? As soon as I walked in the door, that question was answered.

"Did you call your brother for me?" Leah was right in my face with her eyes wide.

"No."

"Why not?" Her tone was nothing but incredulous.

"Um, because I said I'd think about it. That doesn't mean yes."

Woah… Leah actually snorted. "Maybe not, but it usually leads to that direction. Way to drop the ball _Bella_."

I decided not to even gratify her with an answer and pushed past her on the way to my room. I shut and locked the door, set my bag down, and threw myself onto my bed face first. I heard the bathroom door open and a tiny huff.

"Alice, I highly recommend you go away. Now."

"Oh come _on_ Bella. It's not that bad."

"I was just accosted by Leah because she wants me to set her up with my brother for the social tomorrow night."

"Eeeeuuuuwww! Who on Earth would want to date Emmett? Don't get me wrong, he's cute and all, I mean, he shares _your_ genes, but he's such a…"

"Pig. Yes I know Alice, you remind me almost anytime I talk about him. And obviously Leah does. But I don't want her to."

My face was still buried in my bedding, so I didn't see Alice come closer to me. I didn't see her grab my phone either.

"You'll thank me for this tomorrow!" She squeaked before slamming the bathroom door and locking the door to her room.

I honestly didn't think much of it. It wasn't unlike Alice to take off with my iPhone to try and sync up our contacts or something stupid like that. But after laying on the bed for a good twenty minutes trying to get myself to clear my head, I realized that it _was_ unlike her to take off with my phone for that length of time.

"Alice, I need my phone back." I said as I pounded on the door leading from the bathroom to her bedroom.

When she opened the door with a huge smile plastered across her face, I got a little nervous. When she said "You'll thank me for this tomorrow" I got extremely nervous. When I checked my call log and saw that the last number she called was Edward's (we switched numbers during our tutoring session) I got so nervous that I nearly blacked out.

**R.E.V.I.E.W. (oh, and Tweet Tweet... DaniVandal)**


	4. Boring, boring, boring but IMPORTANT

**Lovely readers!**

**First of all, I am SO incredibly flattered by how many alerts I've been getting regarding people adding my story as a fave or a story alert. It's an awesome feeling and I can't thank ya'll enough for it!**

**Now for the important stuff: I have chapter 4 finished, but I will not be able to upload it until my beta (Krisstar) has a few to look at it. She will most likely be able to check it out for me tomorrow.**

**For those of you who have my story on alert, you might get a few alerts about my story being updated tomorrow for previous chapters. I didn't have a beta until today, and she's reviewed for me and I'm a perfectionist so I will be taking those chapters down momentarily to get the typos fixed.**

**I'm gonna go ahead and rec a fic here now. Setting Sun by ShesInLoveWithTheBoy. It's a drama, which I don't usually read much of because they tend to be the same old crap over and over, but it's pretty good. I like it. Go read it.**

**Alright loves! I'm out like a fat kid in dodge ball!**


	5. Why am I In a Sorority Again?

**Alright lovely readers! Here's chapter 4! I'm gonna warn you now, it's mostly filler, but I felt like I needed it to express a little more of Bella's distain for her sorority. **

**I also wanted to address a question I've gotten multiple times: Will I be writing from EPOV? **

**Here's the thing... I don't mind a whole story written from EPOV, or even a few chapters here and there, but I absolutely DESPISE stories that have one chapter from BPOV and then the next chapter is the very same thing from EPOV. I can't stand to read it, and end up stopping not even 3 chapters in a story. If there is any EPOV, I will most likely add it as outtakes once the story is finished. Don't worry, I don't forsee this story as having like 50 chapters or anything ridonkulous like that. **

**I've actually been toying around with the idea of pulling an SM and writing this story from EPOV as well. I don't mind that as much as chapters going back and forth. I'd like to get inside this Edward's head a little. **

**Per usual, I don't own Twilight. I do own a vast collection of socks that don't have mates, and tend to wear mis matched socks because of it. **

4 – WHY AM I IN A SORORITY?

I could barely sleep all night long. Knowing that Alice had called Edward, and they neither of them would tell me what it was about, had me on edge. Eventually the other sorority girls just left me the hell alone for the night, so I was left in my room to be a piss ant.

I had called Edward right after the shock wore off. He wasn't very helpful. All he said was that he hoped I wasn't mad at him, and that Alice said she'd castrate him if he said anything and based on her tone, he believed her. I didn't blame him, Alice may have been tiny, but she was feisty. I'm fairly certain she's killed a man before.

By eight pm, Alice told me that if I didn't leave her alone about it she'd pierce my clit in my sleep. I stopped asking her, but it didn't leave my mind. I just couldn't figure out why on Earth she would call him. She hadn't even met him!

I ended up digging out my glass bowl and weed stash just to chill out enough to be able to sleep. I didn't like surprises. They got me entirely too keyed up and when I was keyed up, I tended to trip over things even more than usual. Eventually, thanks to my trusty herb stash, unconsciousness took me into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up Saturday morning at ten am to a loud banging in the bathroom.

"Ungh… Alice, cut that shit out!"

The banging continued. It sounded like someone was throwing quite a few random items all around the room. I decided I had to get up to brush my teeth anyways, so I could go check out what had Alice in such a tizzy. When I walked into the room, Alice was unpacking our Rolling Cart from Heaven.

"What on Earth are you doing?"

Alice grunted.

"Hello? Do you plan on telling me why all our shit is everywhere?"

"Rosalie asked me if I would take her to buy one, you know, since you have to have a membership there to shop."

"Yeah."

"Well, I told her no. I told her that things hadn't changed since the last time she asked me a year ago. Well Blond Bitch decided that we couldn't have one since it was an item that wasn't accessible to everyone in the house."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You heard me. Since everyone can't go out and buy one easily, we can't have ours. Rosalie is making up stupid rules cause she's a stupid bitch. Today was supposed to be an amazing day. I had all sorts of plans for us…" she took a quick scan of me from head to toe and back up, appraising me, "and you obviously need a lot more work than I thought you would after having a restful nights sleep. Seriously Bella, you usually don't look so horrible after hitting the herb before bed. What did you _do_ last night?"

"Oh. My. God. How the _fuck_ did we get from Rosalie telling you to get rid of our shit to my appearance?!" It wasn't easy for me to handle Alice's criticisms before coffee.

"Easy, have you looked in a mirror yet?"

I scratched my head. "No, I just got up because of your _loud ass!_"

"Don't scratch like that, you look like a cave woman."

"Ungh. I'm going back to bed Alice. Call me when your little crisis is over."

"No! Bella, I need your help."

"No, you want me to sit here so you can yell at me about how Rosalie is pissing you off. Why don't you just call your mom and tell her what's going on? Isn't Rosalie something like ten shades of terrified of her?" I scratched my ass as I finished, enjoying how much that would irritate Alice.

"I swear Bella, sometimes I think you were born a man. And I hadn't thought of calling Mom." Before she could say anything else she had taken off into her bedroom, leaving our bathroom a total disaster.

I went back to my room with full intentions of going back to sleep. Until some ass-fuck knocked on my bedroom door.

"Go. Away."

"Sorry honey, but I can't. I need to know who you're bringing tonight." Rosalie tossed her long, perfectly curled hair (which I was sure had extensions all throughout it) behind her shoulder while she held a clipboard to her chest with her other hand.

"No you don't. You're just being nosy." I grumbled from under my covers.

"Bella, that's not very spirited behavior."

"It is if your spirit is pissed off."

She sighed. "Look here Bella, I can't take much more of you or your little friend's shit, so here's the deal. You're going to cooperate, and with everyone. If you don't, you're both out, and I know how much your mommy would love that."

I just snorted. Little did Rosalie know that my mother, as well as Alice's, were both on many of the sorority's regulation boards. I had never tried to use my mom's name for any sort of pull, but I would if I had to.

"Rose, you couldn't kick me out of here even if you put it up to a vote and everyone in the house voted 'yes'."

"We'll see about that. I expect to know who your date is no later than three pm. I have to have his note card made up for the seating chart."

Rosalie stormed out and I grinned at myself. I heard Alice back in the bathroom but this time I heard sounds that were much calmer. I decided that since it was obvious no one would let me sleep any more, I'd check it out. Sure enough Alice was putting everything back.

"So I take it you had a productive talk with your mother?"

"Of course." She answered cheerily.

"And what's good ole' Mrs. Brandon gonna do?"

"Make a few calls, you know. Make sure Rosalie backs off some and make sure we've still got rooms here."

"You have no shame, do you?"

"You suggested it!"

"Maybe, but it sounds to me like you did more than just complain about our stuff."

"Yeah, and?"

"That's it. If I'm gonna deal with much more fuckery today, I need a ton of coffee. And a pumpkin-cream-cheese muffin."

I stomped down stairs, trying to make as much noise as possible. I heard grumblings from a few girls who had their boyfriends over helping them make posters for the social. Evidently, my wearing tiny cotton shorts and a tank top in my own freaking house was a problem. I searched all over the kitchen for my favorite type of muffin, and much to my dismay, there were none. I saw a pledge sitting at the bar reading a magazine munching on what looked like half of a muffin.

"Is that a pumpkin and cream cheese muffin?" I asked.

"Yes." The girl held her hand up to her face so I wouldn't see her food while she ate.

"Was it the last one?"

"Um… yes?" Her answer sounded like a question.

I threw my hands to my hips and shifted my weight to my left foot. "You're a pledge right?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"Uh-huh." I tapped my foot waiting for her to get the hint that she needed to get her ass to Starbucks and get me a pumpkin and fucking cream cheese muffin. A small crowd started to form around the small confrontation.

"Um, should I…"

I didn't let her finish. "Yes, you should go to Starbucks _right now_ and get me another fucking muffin. Make that two. Everyone in this house knows that you leave at least one pumpkin and cream cheese muffin for me. Catch my drift sweet cheeks?" Stupid whore, taking my damn muffin.

The stupid pledge left for my breakfast, and Alice came bounding down the stairs. I thought she was going to sit with me and have her breakfast, but I was wrong.

"Rosalie, can I talk to you please?" _Excuse me, what now?_ "In private." She tacked on.

Well that's a charming new development.

**Sorry about the long A/N at the beginning, had a lot to say. In the next chapter Bella gets blindsided and is thinking of never forgiving Alice. Chew on that for a little bit! **

**P to the S - the more reviews I get each chapter, the better your odds of getting a little teaser for the next. **


	6. Social Hell and Akwardness

**Okay, so this right huuurrr... this is a LOOONG one. It was sort of difficult to write and I was too impatient to submit it to my beta, cause I was too excited to get it to you, Lovely Readers. So don't blame her for any typos. Did you know that tesitcles isn't in Microsoft's spell checker? **

**I do not own Twilight. I do have a sick two year old, sick husband, and sick SELF though. **

5. SOCIAL HELL AND AKWARDNESS

Fast forward a few hours and I was sitting in Alice's bedroom with some sort of mud goop on my face while she played with my hair.

"You've got to look perfect tonight. Hmmm…" She continued to 'hmm' and 'huh' at herself while she played with my hair and I just sat, trying to be patient.

"Alice, you do realize I don't have a reason to look perfect, right? I'll probably just chill by the bar and talk to Laurent."

Laurent was our on call DJ. The guy had amazing taste in music and if you were anybody important, he was DJ-ing your party. I don't know how we were ever able to afford the guy, but I wouldn't put it past Rosalie to open her legs, or mouth for that matter, to get a good deal on something that made our sorority look like the cream of the crop.

Rosalie lived and breathed everything related to being a Kappa Delta. There was no mediocre when it came to sorority life. There was either shit, or the best. According to the student body, we were the best. I don't think it's an unknown fact that I don't really care for all things Greek. I'd much rather have just gone through college partying it up, and not have any real responsibility. But in doing that, I would've been my mother's Great Disappointment and life would be far more hellatious than it ever has been, or ever will be.

Four years of sorority life, sure I can hack it. A life time of my mother's bitching about how awful of a daughter I am… eh, not so much.

Just as I was starting to imagine how wonderful my life would be without the sorority, Alice yanked a bit too hard on my head.

"Damn it! Alice! That shit _hurts_!"

"Jeeze, sorry. But you've got this really nasty… knot… right… here" She was talking through clenched teeth while she worked on the knot in my hair. She finally let out a big huff and I assumed the torture was over. "I don't know any other person in the world who gets knots like you do. I don't even want to know what you do in your sleep to create this mess."

"Well good, 'cause I can't answer you. I'm, ya' know, _sleeping_ when it happens."

The next few hours passed by in a sort of haze thanks to my weed stash. There was no way I could sit there and let Alice play beauty shop on me without it.

The girl had a knack for fashion and all things that it implied, but she never really played beauty shop after were turned ten and sort of grew out of it. Don't get me wrong, she never grew out of her insanely perfect fashion sense, she just grew out of using people as life sized Barbie Dolls. I still went to her for periodic style advice, because let's be honest here, what girl doesn't need fashion advice from her best friend? _Oh, that's right, Alice doesn't._

"So, I went ahead and laid out your dress and shoes. Your jewelry and purse are on top of Rollie," call us stupid if you want to, but after almost losing our beloved Rolling Cart from Heaven, we decided to name him, "I want you to get dressed before make up. I'd let you put your foundation on yourself, but with you knack for dropping things I'd rather do it. Go on and wash the mask off your face and get dressed. I'm going to go put my dress on."

After I washed my face, I went to see the dress Alice had picked. The event was dubbed black tie formal, and I was dreading every second of wearing that damned dress. Sure, it was gorgeous, but I was known for my displeasure in formal attire. Come to think of it, my mother was the only person in my immediate family who liked getting dressed up. I'm a skinny jeans, old school band tour t-shirt and throw back sneakers kinda gal.

I looked at the black dress laying across my bed with a mix of emotions. Sure, it was beautiful, not a single soul could deny that, but I _really_ didn't want to have to wear it. I slid the dress over my head hesitantly.

The dress started around my neck with a choker that had intricate bead work on it. Silky fabric attached to the choker like a triangle right smack in the middle of my chest and skimmed down the sides of my body where it came together right above my ass, revealing all of my back. The black silk continued to flow down my body, a perfect fit. Not too tight, laying against my skin but roomy enough to walk and sit in.

When I noticed that the dress was a few inches too long I realized Alice would have me in heels. Then I saw the shoes. The damn things had to be at least four inches tall! They had straps that crossed over the top of my foot in a few places, and then around the back of my Achilles tendon, each strap had jewels on it that matched the jewels on the choker of the dress perfectly. At least the jewelry was simple. Just some large silver braided hoops and a few black and silver thin bangle bracelets.

I knocked on Alice's door before opening it. Alice was… Alice. Beautiful, of course, but pushing the envelope like only she could and still looking classy. Her dress was a deep teal silk covered in chiffon with spaghetti straps that topped her delicate shoulders. Over her breast, the fabric was roushed and criss-crossed, obviously Alice trying to give her self a little help in the boobie department. Where the straps met the back of the dress was sheer teal mesh that clung to her back, all the way down to where the mesh met the silk and chiffon right above her rear end, with tiny multi color jewels stitched all over it.

"Bella, this dress is _perfect_ for you! I'm thinking subtle up-do for your hair, emphasize the neckline of the dress, ya' know? Plus, it'll show more of your back."

"What ever you say Alice. You look amazing, by the way. Did you make the dress?" It wasn't uncommon for Alice to have a hard time finding dresses that fit her petite frame, and if she was looking for something specific she had an even harder time. She had taken to making her own gowns for special events.

"Thanks! I sure did! What do you think about the color? I was going for a deep teal, so it wouldn't look too summery."

"I think it's perfect. What color shoes are you wearing?"

Alice held up a dark bronze pair of heels, and a silver pair. Both were fancy and metallic, neither had any jewels on them, and both were dangerously high. "I can't decide between these two pairs. What do you think?"

I had Alice slip a foot in each shoe so I could get a better comparison. "Hmm… I'm gonna have to say the bronze. Makes the look more fall-ish." I nodded my head for emphasis.

"Perfect. Okay, I need to do your hair."

I sat down in Alice's chair and held a box of hair pins while she worked. We chatted a little bit about what we expected of the evening and who we thought some of the sorority girls would bring as dates. It was no contest that Alice would bring Jasper, her boyfriend of two years. Thankfully they had gotten past that cant-stand-to-not-be-touching-when-in-the-same-room phase and I could hang out with them as a couple and not feel like puking.

Just as Alice was spraying my head with hairspray, Rosalie knocked on the door and opened it.

"Hey girls, just wanted to check on ya'!" As much as I hated to admit it, because, well, she was Rosalie… she looked gorgeous.

She was wearing a strapless fuchsia mermaid style gown that dipped dangerously low in the back (seriously, she was point three centimeters from revealing crack) and had a sweet heart neckline that showcased her double-d's perfectly. The girl didn't really need heels since she was already something like five foot ten, but she wore them anyways. Her long blond hair was curled perfectly down her back and even though she wore no necklace, she had a very thick diamond encrusted cuff bracelet around her left wrist, and diamond drop earrings to match.

"We're doing fine." Alice chirped.

"Oh, hey Rosalie, I never found a date. Sorry." I told her. I wanted to at least _try_ to be cordial, tonight of all nights. I knew I had to be on my best behavior.

A very strange smirk cross Rosalie's perfect lips, "uh-huh, Bella. It's okay." Rosalie opened her silver clutch purse and got her lipstick out to touch up in Alice's mirror before telling us she'd see us later at the hotel ballroom she'd rented out for the event.

After another hour and a half of primping, make-up applying, and getting my clumsy ass down the stairs in the shoes Alice had picked; we were finally ready to leave. I decided to ride with Alice and Jasper to the hotel seeing as how I knew I'd be drinking tonight and didn't trust leaving my precious, midnight blue Chevy Colorado just any ole' place. Jasper leaned over to kiss Alice before greeting me.

"You look lovely tonight, Bella." He took my hand and kissed the top of it. _Always the gentleman_.

"Thanks Jas, you look pretty sharp yourself." I studied my truck as I walked out, making sure it was out of the line of pranksters who might take advantage of how obvious it was that no one was home. If I thought I'd be hooking up with anyone, I would've gotten a room at the hotel and just drove myself home the next day.

The truck had been a gift from my mother and New Daddy, bought brand new and fully loaded, when I got accepted into her precious sorority two years ago. She swears it was just a congratulatory gift, but I'm pretty sure she was just ashamed of the nineteen-fifty-seven rusted out Chevy pick up I'd been driving since high school. Emmett had also gotten a replacement vehicle when he became a Phi Sigma Kappa. Mom and New Daddy upgraded him from his beat up, gun metal grey nineteen-eighty Jeep Wrangler to a brand new, metallic black (also fully loaded I might add) Jeep Grand Cherokee. At least they were kind enough to stick to what we liked.

Jasper looked extremely handsome with Alice on his arm as we entered the super fancy hotel lobby. I had to admit, he was quite interesting to look at. I always begged him to let me photograph him for various projects, but he'd always refused. The man was very long and lean, but muscular with shaggy, curly blond hair and some of the most intense blue eyes I'd ever seen. Alice's grey eyes complimented his perfectly. When ever I noticed their eyes, I secretly wondered if anyone's eyes would match my dull brown ones they way theirs did.

I looked around the grand lobby and saw a few people I recognized and some I didn't. I recognized the back of Rosalie, and saw that she was locked arms with probably the biggest guy I had ever seen. He had to be at least as tall as Emmett's six foot five, and easily three hundred pounds. This dude was a beast! At least the height worked out, I bet Rose was in heaven being able to wear heels with her date.

I was walking over to the check in table to see where I'd be seated when I got a good glance at her mystery date's face and damn near had a heart attack. I just stood there, completely still with my mouth hanging open.

"Bella? Honey? Are you okay?" I heard Alice call to me. She started frantically shaking my shoulders but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Rosalie and her date. It was just too horrible, too awful. This could _not_ be happening to me!

Alice's eyes followed mine and finally caught on. "Oh. My. God!" She yelled.

The yell caught Rosalie's attention and she turned around to glare at us, effectively turning her date around. On Rosalie's perfect, super model arm, was my big brother.

The shock wore off and I figured out how to work my legs, so I stormed over to them. I grabbed Emmett by the arm and tried to pull him outside the hotel doors.

"Emmett, a word. Now." Neither Rosalie or Emmett said anything, and he followed.

When we got outside I just stared at him angrily for a moment, I was giving myself a few moments to wake up from this nightmare I must've been having. When I realized I was awake, I spoke.

"Emmett, what are you _doing_ here?!" I demanded.

"I've got a class with Rosalie this semester, and we were hitting it off. She asked me to come to her sorority's social, so here I am. What are _you_ doing here?"

"It's _my_ sorority!" I threw my hands in the air.

"_Fuck!_ Seriously?"

"Nah, I'm just pullin' your dick Ems." I rolled my eyes. "Yes! Seriously! How did you not know what sorority she was in?!"

"I never asked her. She may have said so at some point, but there's so many of them that I couldn't remember."

"Jesus, Emmett. You can be so _thick_ sometimes!"

"How was I supposed to know it was the same one you were in!"

"Oh, I dunno, how about all the times that I've complained to you about the Big Blond Bitch named Rosalie? How many fucking blond Rosalie's do you think are at this school, Emmett?!"

Emmett grinned sheepishly and rubbed his face with his hands. "I don't know Bee, it's a big school, ya' know?"

In the middle of our tuss, Rosalie came out to check on her date. "Is there a problem here?" She asked with her authority voice on.

"Just conversing with my baby sister." Emmett answered as he patted my back.

"Wait, Bella _Swan_? Shit!" Rose stomped her foot and grumbled something I couldn't hear.

"Hey now, this is my little sister here. You're gonna have to play nice, or I'm out." Emmett crossed his arms over his chest and Rosalie looked at him like she just discovered he had four tesitcles or something. I had to admit, I was a little smug.

"Alright, fine. This will be discussed later though. Emmett." Rosalie held her arm out to hook her elbow with his.

Emmett leaned into kiss my cheek and whisper "It'll be fine Bee. I promise."

I slowly walked back into the hotel lobby feeling like I needed ten shots of the strongest liquor they had when Alice greeted me.

"I'm so sorry sweetie. Damn, that just sucks!"

"Yeah, I know. Let's just go find out where we're sitting."

Alice got that same strange smirk Rosalie had earlier when we were getting ready and nodded her head. The table to check in and find our seat was sort of crowded, and I was annoyed. Alice, Jasper and I had to split up in an effort to try and find our names and table. When I finally saw my name and what table I'd be seated at, I called for Alice to come over to check in with the pledge that was sitting at the table.

That's when I noticed it. Next to my name on the list, as my _guest_ was the name Edward Cullen. When I jerked my head up, Alice was on her way over and the look I shot her must've given my anger away because she grabbed Jasper's hand and started backtracking. I gave a tentative glance around the room, and barely seven feet away from me, staring directly at me, and coming my way, was Edward.

I'm not gonna lie, the nerd looked absolutely delicious in his thin cut tuxedo with his nerd glasses, disheveled hair and stubbly-haven't-shaved-since-yesterday-morning chin and cheeks. _Oh, Rosalie is gonna have a fucking conniption!_ Rose hated it when guys 'couldn't even clean up for a formal event'.

Edward noticed my stare and when he finally reached me, he reached down for my hand and kissed the top, much like Jasper had done.

"You look... uh... stunning," he told me as he held his arm out, elbow bent, for me to wrap my arm into, "I hope you're not too mad at your friend," he said looking a bit sheepish. "Or me." He tacked on with a whisper as he looked down at his shoes.

I gawked at him for a few more moments, and then turned a murderous glare to Alice. Home girl was in deep shit. She knew I wouldn't be able to cause a scene here, so I reluctantly snaked my arm with Edward's and glared at Alice as we made our way into the ball room to find our seats. _I will not kill her in front of people. I will not kill her in front of people. I. Will. Not. Kill. Her. In. Front. Of. People!_

**Reviews are better than Bella not killing Alice and going to prison for ever. **

**P to the S - tweet tweet DaniVandal**


	7. The Aftermath of Social Hell pt 1

**Lovely Readers (If you haven't figure it out yet, this is my nickname for ya'll) ya'll are KICK ASS! Let's try and pimp my story out some, shall we? I'm gaining confidence here, and want to keep this fantastic high of knowing people love my story going! **

**This part of the story I broke into two chapters. I guess I _could_ have made it one long chapter, but it just felt right doing it this way. **

**Also, before anyone says anything, I KNOW that most sorority socials are NOT like what I describe here. But I wanted to show just how ostentatious Rosalie can be, so this is what I came up with. **

**I don't usually label my stuff with any sort of music, but I kept listening to "Fall back down" by Rancid, "Kiss with a fist" by Florence and The Machine, and "Absolutey wankered" by Flamboyant Bella while writing this chapter, as well as the next (which I am proofing now). I was impatient AGAIN and left my Beta without work for the eveving, don't be mad at her about typos please! (I did have my hubs review it though).**

**And lastly, I have to give a lil shout. TexasTwilight77, you're fuckawesome to keep reviewing like you do! I'm sure every author voices their appreciation for reviews, but honestly, I can't even begin to describe how amazing it feels to me!**

**Drum roll please - I do not own Twilight. But I do own a hand that smells like vinegar, and I don't know why.**

6. THE AFTERMATH OF SOCIAL HELL (pt 1)

The night of the social was horrid. I found out my brother and the president of my sorority, whom I hated, were a "thing" and I had been set up on a date with my nerdy tutor and didn't even know about it.

Not that Edward wasn't hot in his own way, my date could've been worse, but I didn't know anything about him, and I certainly didn't like being set up without knowing it. It was worse than a blind date. I ended up sending most of the night downing any sort of booze I could find.

"Bella," Edward's warm, long fingers wrapped around my wrist as I got up to get another drink, "I think you've had enough. You're gonna be sick or something."

I tried, without success, to get my wrist free. "I'll be fiiiiiine," I slurred, "I really just need one more whiskey and coke."

"Okay, but let me go get it. You just sit tight." Edward pulled me down to my chair and patted my hands in my lap.

No one else was sitting at our table, having all gone to dance in the middle of the room. This was entirely too much like a prom for my taste. Moments after Edward got up, my brother sat down in his chair.

"You didn't tell me you were seeing someone Bella."

"That's cause I'm not." I tried to make my voice sound like I hadn't been shooting Jager between my five whiskey and cokes. "Alice set this all up. I didn't even know he'd _be_ here! He's my fucking Calculus tutor Ems."

"How much have you had to drink?" Emmett sounded a little panic stricken.

My brother and I had never had issues holding our liquor. In fact, we were sort of known for being able to get plastered to the point of blacking out the evening and just feel a bit sloshy the next day. Even though alcohol never, and I mean _never_ made either of us sick (I can honestly say I've never thrown up from alcohol, and I've had plenty reason too) it did tend to throw any inhibitions we may harbor out the window.

"I dunno Emsie… a lot?"

Emmett groaned. "Bee, please tell me you didn't drive."

"Of course not! I would never endanger my precious Betsy like that!" I know, I'm sort of stupid, but I named my truck Betsy when I got her. She looked like a Betsy.

"Good. Did you ride with Alice and Jasper?"

"Duuuuuh" I giggled.

"Okay good, Jasper hasn't been drinking at all tonight. He must've known you and Alice would be a little sauced by the end of the night."

I was instantly furious at the mention of my soon to be ex best friend's name. "Don't say that name." I growled.

"Bella," he sighed, "I'm sure she didn't mean anything bad by it. I'm sure she thought she was being nice."

I crossed my arms and looked around for Edward with my drink. I didn't see him anywhere, but I saw the pledge that ate my last muffin this morning coming over to me with two shot glasses in her hand.

"Hey Bella, do you mind if I sit for a second?" She asked timidly.

"Sure." I waved my hand in the direction of the empty chair.

"So, I wanted to apologize for this morning. I really didn't know."

"It's cool. What's your name?"

"Tanya. Tanya Denali." She held her hand out for me to shake, and I did. "So, as a peace offering, I brought you a shot of Jager. That's what Alec said you'd been shooting tonight."

I nodded my head. It came as no surprise that our bartender would know exactly what I'd been shooting, and drinking, all night long. The guy watched me at every party with a sort of creepy affection.

I held the shot up above the table, "To new friends." I toasted. Tanya got a devilish grin on her face and clinked her glass to mine.

"Yep. New _friends_."

We both downed our shots, and Emmett just shook his head. Edward finally arrived with my drink.

"Bella, do you really think you should've taken that shot?" Edward asked as he placed my new drink in front of me.

"Psh, hell yeah."

I downed my drink much faster than I should have before standing up and grabbing Edward's hand.

"Nerdy Boy, come dance with me." I demanded. Had I not been so inebriated, I would've been ashamed of calling him Nerdy Boy to his face, but at the time I couldn't be. After a few tugs on his arm I finally got him to the dance floor and started grinding my flushed drunken body all over him.

"Bella, uh… I don't really… er… know what to do." He whispered into my ear.

"You're smart. Follow my lead." I said as I grabbed his hands and put them on my hips.

Nerdy Boy _was_ smart, and he followed my lead perfectly. I thought he was getting a bit carried away though when I felt a bulge in his pants against my back side. I couldn't help but grin realizing that I had done this to him. We were only on the dance floor a total of five minutes and he was already hard from me!

Just as I started riding the high of knowing I could make a guy pop wood that easily, I started feeling woozy. The room started to sort of spin, and I tried to find something to focus my eyes on. I had stopped dancing and heard Edward asking if I was okay, but it didn't sound right. It sounded like he was yelling at me through a long tunnel. I found an Exit sign above the doors to lock my eyes on, but they started drifting downward on their own accord.

That's where I saw Tanya smirking at me with someone's arm around her shoulders. I tried to focus on the person, but all I could see at first was an average height blond man. After a few blinks and bending forward slightly, I noticed it was James.

"Edward, I think I'm gonna be sick." I groaned. I instantly knew exactly why I was feeling so crappy.

I felt Edward lift me into the cradle of his arms and jog through the ball room. I hoped no one had noticed. I caught one last glance at Tanya, and her smirk was gone. She looked… afraid?

The last thing I remember from the night was Edward charging into the ladies rest room and Alice standing by the counter washing her hands. I remember her eyes going wide at the sight of me and Edward and I sort of remember her freaking out, asking Edward what happened, but it was like listening through a glass pressed up against a closed door. I closed my eyes to make the room stop spinning while Edward propped me up against the toilet in the big stall.

The next morning I woke up feeling stiff and uncomfortable. I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar sight. There was a dark wood bed side table with an alarm clock, white lamp, glass of water and bottle of Advil on it. I blinked a few times without moving my head and saw that the bright red numbers on the clock said that it was twelve thirty. I tried to make my brain work and figure if it was am or pm, but I couldn't remember what time I had gotten to… where ever I was, to figure it out. Noting the glass of water and Advil, I realized that who ever I was with couldn't have been bad. My thoughts went directly to Emmett or Alice.

I slowly sat up and took the medicine with the water and groaned. My head was spinning just from the sitting up action and my teeth felt like they had mold growing on them. I put my bare feet on the floor and when my head decided to get off the merry go round, I noticed the bathroom directly across from me. I got up and slowly made my way in. One glance in the mirror and I knew I was doomed.

Half of my hair was still pinned up, looking like who ever had helped me try and take the pins out gave up and just left the rest. I had make up smeared around my eyes, looking like a boxer that had just had their nose broken and was only wearing one earring. What really got my attention though, was my attire. I was wearing a pair of grey and black striped men's boxer briefs and a white tuxedo shirt with every button closed. I closed the bathroom door so that I could pee.

Once I was finished, I tried to clean up a bit. There wasn't much I could do since I had _nothing_ with me, but I tried nonetheless. I took out my lone earring, as well as the remaining pins from my hair. I shook my hair out a bit, and let it hang down my back. I washed my face with the complementary soap and wash cloth and used my finger to brush my teeth with the complementary toothpaste. I unbuttoned the very top two buttons on the shirt.

That's when I realized that it couldn't have been Alice to take care of me, because she would've just let me sleep naked, and she certainly wouldn't have given me Jasper's underwear and shirt to wear. That only left two people, and if it was Emmett, I was going cry. I did _not _want to be wearing the underwear directly off any person's body, but much less Emmett's. At least if it came from the second option, it would be sort of cute… given that he knew how to wipe his ass properly and didn't leave skid marks in his underpants.

I took a good look in the mirror and realized this was good as I was going to get under the circumstances. "Time to face the music Swan." I told myself.

I cautiously stepped out of the bathroom and took a look around the nicely sized hotel room. The first thing I noticed was that only half of the bed was unmade. _Hmmm._ So who ever I was with had the decency to give me space. _Or they were afraid I'd puke on them._ The second seemed much more likely. Across from the bed was an armoire that served as the entertainment center, as well as dresser. To the left of it was a small table with an ice bucket and glasses on it, as well as a coffee maker and a basket of coffee fixings. Under the table was a mini fridge, and across from the table were two chairs. On the far right wall was a couch with small end tables on each side and a small coffee table in front of it.

That's when I saw who my care taker was. Edward. His completely adorkable glasses were on the left end table, and his head was on the same end of the couch resting on a throw pillow, mouth opened with a little furrow between his brows. He was laying on his stomach, with his left arm dangling down to the floor and his over sized feet and long legs hanging off the other end of the couch. Saying his position looked uncomfortable would've been the understatement of the century.

The couch cushions showed that he'd been tossing and turning quite a bit too. He was wearing a white under shirt, tux pants and black dress socks. Looking at his attire, I realized I was wearing _his_ tux shirt. That could only mean I was wearing his underwear too. _Oh God._ I frantically looked around the room and tried to find a bag anywhere. Finding a bag meant that the underwear I was wearing didn't have to have come directly off his body.

I couldn't find a bag anywhere. I could tell my super adorable tutor turned nurse wasn't close to waking up, so I made coffee. I grabbed a chair and pulled it towards the middle of the room. I didn't want to watch TV because I was afraid it would wake him up. I could say I was being polite, letting him sleep since he obviously hadn't slept well at all, but in truth I just wasn't ready to talk to him.

Right before I got up to pour a cup of coffee, the hotel phone next to Edward's head rang. He groaned to 'shut up' for a second, and I saw his hand feeling around the table. I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda cute. After three more rings, he must've realized his situation because he stood up, facing the table, and stretched before reaching for the phone. It hadn't gotten past me when he stretched that no underwear waist band peeked from the top of his pants.

I groaned internally as Edward started to speak into the phone. "No, it's fine. Just charge another night to the card please." He paused to let the other person speak. "Mmmhhm," another pause, "I don't know, just send a cart up of whatever. Yeah, thanks."

He hung up the phone and he ran his hands through his hair a few times and then down his face. He slowly turned towards me. His hands slid down his face a tiny bit more revealing his eyes to me, still sitting in the chair.

"Uh… hi." He said quietly.

"Hi. Please tell me you know how to wipe your ass, because I'm pretty sure I'm wearing the same underpants you were wearing all last night. And if you're one of those guys that goes days without changing them… Do. Not. Tell. Me."

Edward's hands dropped to his sides and he gawked at me for a few moments. I'm sure 'Hi, thanks for rescuing me last night' probably would've been a better greeting, and that's definitely what I was planning on, but that's not what came out of my mouth.

**R.E.V.I.E.W. Oh, and Tweet Tweet, DaniVandal**


	8. The Aftermath of Social Hell pt 2

**This chap is a bit shorter than the two previous ones were, but I love it. It's not as funny as the others, definitely more akward. It needed to be written though, it's what triggers something in Bella, but it's also a lot of filler. PLEASE stick with me!**

**P to the S - Next chappie my favorite Nerdy Boy gets to experience something new... and wonderful...**

**Per the norm, I don't own Twilight. I do own about 5 guitars, 3 amps, 1 violin, a drum set, and a keyboard though. **

7. THE AFTERMATH OF SOCIAL HELL pt 2

About fifteen minutes after I had established that Nerdy Boy _did_ know how to wipe his ass, and in fact had only put these particular boxer briefs on after his shower, before he got dressed for the social last night, room service knocked on the door.

"I wasn't sure what you'd like to eat, so I just told them to bring up anything." He said shyly. _So that's what he meant on the phone. _

"Oh, thanks." I replied. "So not that I'm not grateful and all, but how did I end up in your hotel room? In your clothes?"

"What's the last thing you remember?" He asked while he put our sandwich platters on the coffee table, "I got you Coke, I hope that's okay, it's what you drank your whiskey with so I assumed you liked it."

I nodded my head and he placed a cup of ice next to my plate, along with a can of Coke. I opened my can and began to pour my drink.

"Well, I remember you carrying me like a baby into the bathroom, and propping me up to puke. I think I remember Alice freaking out or something. Where is she?"

"After I got a room and we got you situated, she went home with her boyfriend. She said she'd be here at around two to bring you clothes and stuff. Did anyone other than me and that girl get you a drink? Did you leave your drink with anyone other than me?" The furrow between his brows showed up again, but it was mostly blocked by the thick frame of his glasses.

"No. I know what happened though." I took a bite of my sandwich.

"You do? How would you know you were drugged?" He seemed astonished that I would know, I'm guessing most girls didn't.

"Because I saw Tanya clinging to this guy James that I used to go out with. He's the roofie king. That's why I dumped him over a year ago. I didn't know he was still harboring ill feelings towards me." Now I was confused. "Wait, how did _you_ know I was roofied? No offence, but you don't exactly scream 'party goer' or 'roofie aficionado'."

"My dad's a doctor. I called him. You seemed way too fucked up to just be drunk. Plus Alice told me that you've never been sick from alcohol. I thought at first that you might be pregnant, that's how my older sister found out she was pregnant. She had gone out drinking and got really sick off of like, two drinks. She'd never gotten sick like that either. Alice said there was no way you could be pregnant though, so I called my dad, and he said you had to have been slipped something."

I had to laugh.

"What?" he asked.

"You're the only person I could picture calling your Doctor Daddy about something like that." He looked a little disgruntled so I tried to placate him. "Aw, don't be so sour. Look, if it's any consolation, I'm pretty thankful it was you who came to my rescue. If it were Alice, I probably would've woken up naked on my bathroom floor. Not that she isn't a good friend or anything, but I saw how many drinks she was slammin'. And if it was Emmett, and I had to wake up wearing _his_ underwear… gag me." I shook my head and took another bite of sandwich.

I pondered over my statement and my feelings of thanks for my adorable Nerdy Boy when I realized something. Someone had to have gotten me out of my dress and into his clothes.

Now, I'm no prude, but I'm not an exhibitionist either. Not to mention, I probably offered him many sexual favors in my stupor.

"Um…" I slammed my eyes shut. I couldn't ask this question looking him in the eye, "so did you dress me?"

Edward coughed and sputtered for a few seconds and I opened one eye to look at him. His cheeks had turned bright red and he was thumping his chest with his fist. _Awww!_ I opened my eyes all the way to watch him try and compose himself, suddenly having confidence in my situation.

Edward was hot and adorable, and he had taken care of me all night long. He had respect enough to sleep on the couch, and make sure I was dressed, whether he did the dressing or not. Plus, I seemed to turn him on. Maybe desperation was making me see all these things, but suddenly, I wanted him. His crazy hair and too big feet and hands were doing funny things to my lady bits.

His coughing fit was over and he nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well… uh, you weren't kidding when you said that Alice would leave you naked. When I got us all up here, she starting stripping you down, so I went into the bathroom and uh… took off my boxers for you, and my shirt. I handed them to her without seeing anything though, so don't worry." He added on that last part in a rush.

He was officially too cute for words. I looked at the time and saw that Alice would be by soon with my clothes.

"Hey, did Alice say if she had anything she had to do after she dropped my clothes off?" I was secretly hoping she did, and since it was Saturday, chances were she was going to visit her grandmother at the hospice center.

"Actually, she did. She said she'd be bringing you a bag of stuff and your truck, and that her and her boyfriend would be heading to see her grandma. How did you know?"

"Lucky guess." I smirked.

We finished eating in relative silence. We would say a short something here and there, but for the most part we didn't feel the need to fill the silence with endless chatter. Alice showed up and thanked Edward profusely for taking care of me, but said she couldn't stay because she was running late.

She did however, find a few seconds to pull me outside of the room for a small warning. "If you don't tell me everything, and I mean everything, I will kill you."

She then kissed my cheek and took off down the hall. I smiled and shook my head.

I came back into the room to Edward watching TV. He looked up when he saw me. "You're more than welcome to get showered and everything here. I had to pay for an extra night because check out was at ten a.m."

I instantly felt guilty. "Edward, you should let me pay. It's my fault anyways."

He held a hand up to stop me. "Nope, it's already taken care of, and it's not technically your fault."

I saw an opportunity here, and decided to take it. I had gotten a quick glance in my bag and saw that Alice had literally packed everything I'd need to get ready for a day, and the outfit was pretty cute, so I knew that the plan formulating in my head would be easy, at least on my end.

"Okay Edward, how about this. To make up for… everything… you let me take you to dinner tonight and then again after our tutoring session on Tuesday?"

I don't think Edward had ever been asked out until then. He stared up at me from the couch, wide eyed with his mouth hanging open.

"Um… uh… oh…" He stuttered. I think he was trying to accept.

"Edward, would you like to go to dinner with me?" I laid it on thick, batting my eye lashes and speaking in a low voice.

All he could do was nod.

"Perfect. You might want to go back to your place to get ready though. I'm thinking that cute little Italian place on Third and Wallace how does that sound?"

Once again, all I got was a nod. _Oh, this is going to be easy!_ I didn't want to admit it, but maybe Alice and her stupid little ways of knowing how things were going to turn out had benefited me. At least in this instance.

**Oh, and Tweet Tweet - DaniVandal**


	9. The Date From Heaven Sort Of

**Lovely Readers! DAYUM this is a long one! But I discovered something about myself in writing this... when I write lemons, they're long. I'm entirely new the lemon writing thing. I'm not exactly how I want to describe something, but I surely know how I DON'T want to. I want to avoid the words that get used over and over "Core, center, blah blah blah". **

**I hope ya'll don't mind the length of it though. I'm a tad worried about it, so you'll have to let me know. **

**TexasTwilight77 & loyalluv - ya'll rock my socks. Which btw- match today. (score!) My beta read this, but didn't mention any changes that needed to be made, then again, she was reading it on her phone and I'm ENTIRELY too impatient to wait til she could get her ass to the comp and let me know for sure if I needed to make any changes... so once agian, don't blame her. **

**And for the usual message to prevent me from getting my ass handed to me in court - I don't own Twilight. I do still own every one of my favorite childhood books though. They take up quite a bit of book shelf space. **

**That's about all I've got to say about this one...**

8. THE DATE FROM HEAVEN – SORT OF

After we confirmed what time we would be meeting at the restaurant, I decided I needed to call Rosalie but she didn't answer. I left her a voicemail saying I needed her to call me pronto.

I spent the rest of the after noon getting ready to meet Nerdy Boy at six. I was starting to regret wishing Alice had someplace else to be, because she wouldn't be around to make sure I looked perfect.

Five thirty rolled around and I was just grabbing my purse and phone when the hotel room phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked. Who would be calling? No one knew I was here except Alice and Edward, and neither one of them would call.

"Uh… hey." It _was_ Edward. _Interesting._ "Um, so the um, hotel was on the way to the restaurant for me, and I uh…" _Aww. Nerdy Boy is so nervous!_ I had to help him out.

"Edward, are you offering to pick me up?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll be right down."

"Uh… really?" His voice sounded so hopeful that I almost couldn't contain my giggle.

"Yep. Just give me about five minutes."

"O-okay."

I checked my outfit, a pair of my favorite skinny jeans paired with another set of loose fitting tank tops (the top one a deep purple and the bottom a cream color) that hung half way down my rear end. For my shoes, Alice had the sense to not pack anything ridiculous, opting for my favorite beat up, motorcycle boots. These boots were my absolute favorite purchase ever. They went half way up my calf, and the leg parts of them were a bit big on me. I always wore them over the legs of my jeans, much like tonight. I made sure I had my room key with me and made my way down to the lobby.

I found Edward leaning casually against the outside wall through the main lobby doors. He had on a pair of black slim fitted jeans and a dark navy short sleeved button up that looked like he had picked it up off the floor. He had on his combat boots again, untied and opened just like the first day we met, and much to my dismay his chaotic hair was covered with a black beanie. When I stepped outside he looked up at me and pushed his nerd glasses up his nose.

"You look…er… beautiful." He said quietly.

"Well thank you. You look pretty hot yourself." I complimented back. Even with his wrinkled button up it was true.

His cheeks turned a bright shade of red and he looked down. He looked like he wasn't sure what to do so I walked over to him and hugged him. He was rigid at first, like he'd never even been hugged by a girl before he wrapped his arms loosely around me to hug me back. I decided that there was no way the shirt could've come from a dirty clothes pile on the floor because Nerdy Boy just smelled too good. He smelled like a combination of sandalwood and the ocean. _Heaven._

"Thanks again for helping me last night."

"You're welcome. Let's go." We let go of each other, but I reached out for his hand and intertwined my fingers in his. Even though he was looking forward I saw his cheek lift, indicating his smile.

He pointed to the back of the parking lot "I'm over there."

When we got to his car, I had to stop myself from laughing. Nerdy Boy actually drove a Volvo. Granted, it was a two door coup, it was a Volvo nonetheless.

He noticed my expression. "What?" he asked as he opened the passenger door.

He waited, holding the door open, for me to answer. I grinned.

"It's just funny. You drive a Volvo."

He shook his head and shut my door. When he got inside, he continued. "So what's wrong with my car?"

"It's such an old lady car. Or a soccer mom."

"I can assure you that no soccer mom could fit her crap in this car. And it's not an old lady car." He stuck his bottom lip out to playfully pout and I laughed.

In no time we were stopped in the restaurant parking lot. I made to open the door, but Edward stopped me.

"Let me." He said as he placed his hand on mine. I smiled and nodded.

He walked around the front of the car and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as he opened my door for me. I'd never been treated so much like a lady. _Guess chivalry isn't dead after all._ He held the door of the restaurant open for me and we were greeted by the hostess who eyed Edward up just a little too intensely for my liking.

"Just two?" She asked, clearly only looking at Edward.

"Yes, two. In a booth please." I answered her knowing that Edward would probably just end up doing that cute stutter thing. I was getting the impression that Edward had literally _just_ grown out of his awkward phase.

She sneered a half smile at me that just made her look constipated and motioned for us to follow her. She took us to one of the busiest places in the restaurant, and I knew this just wouldn't do.

"Look sugah," I let the southern drawl that I always tried to suppress come out, "this isn't gonna work. I see a nice, quiet section over there" I jutted my chin towards the section I had seen, "that my date and I would like to sit in, if you don't mind of course." I had a hand on my hip and my 'no nonsense' face on.

When I glanced over to Edward, I expected to see him gawking at me and my brazen move, much like he had done a few times last night. Instead, he surprised me by giving a crooked impish looking grin and wrapped his arm around my waist.

The hostess huffed and tossed her perfectly straight, bleach blond hair over her shoulder and led the way to the new section. "Your waiter will be with you soon." She said as she handed us our menus.

I was looking over when I noticed Edward looking at me with that impish grin again.

"What?" I asked nervously. Nerdy Boy seemed like the type you could scare easy, so I had to be careful.

"That back there… I uh… I really liked it."

Edward was opening up to me, and I was proud of him for it, but I'd never tell him that. It would probably just put him back into his shell.

"Oh yeah, Nerdy Boy? What part?" I leaned in placing my elbow on the table and rested my chin on my hand.

"When you get bold… your accent gets stronger. It's uh… really cute."

I reached the hand that wasn't holding my chin across the table and motioned with my fingers for him to place his hand on the table as well. He laid it down, palm up. I traced the lines on his palm and worked my way to his wrist.

"That uh… feels really… nice." He whispered.

"Does it?" I whispered back.

Edward nodded his head and closed his eyes. I took the opportunity of him closing his eyes to lift his hand and gently kissed the tip of his middle finger. His eyes shot open and he looked at me with the strangest expression. It was a mix of arousal and adoration. I giggled.

Our waiter came by to take our drink orders. I knew that if I wanted Edward to continue this path of opening up around me, I'd have to get him to loosen up some, and one thing that I knew loosened everyone up was beer.

"We'll have a pitcher of Bud Lite please, and I'll have a water as well."

"And you sir?"

"Um, water."

"I'll bring those right out."

The rest of the time at the restaurant passed with me shamelessly flirting with Nerdy Boy and him just blushing, smiling or laughing at every pass. I learned that he was a music theory major and he was surprised when I confessed my photography major. We talked about where we grew up, and I learned he was from the north east and didn't have any family in Florida. We got to know a little bit more about each other on the way home.

When we got to the hotel, I was beginning to lose my confidence, thinking he thought it was all some big joke. I could see a guy like Edward thinking being hit on was a joke. It'd probably actually even happened to him at some point, but I was serious.

I was surprised for the second time that night when instead of pulling up to the customer drop off, Edward parked his car in the lot.

"Bella… I um… I would… could I… shit…" Edward slammed his forehead into his steering wheel.

"Edward, do you want to come upstairs?"

His head shot up and he looked at me, blushing and grinning that impish grin. He nodded his head yes, and I waited for him to walk around the car to open my door. It looked like he was having some sort of conversation with himself, and I couldn't help but smile at his nervousness.

We walked to the elevators in complete silence, but when we got inside, I couldn't stop myself. I practically attacked the poor boy.

I pinned him to the back of the elevator wall and grabbed the back of his neck with both hands and stared directly in to those damn green eyes. I was daring him to stop me. When I saw nothing but shock, I rammed my lips to his. Neither his lips, or mine moved for a few seconds, but when I felt his hands grip onto my lower back, I knew it was on. His smell of ocean and sandalwood was concentrated ten fold being so close to him, and his taste could only be described as delicious. I moved my lips and he moved his. I nipped his bottom lip with my teeth, and his breathing hitched. I traced the line of his lips with my tongue and felt him go hard against my stomach.

When I heard the ding of the elevator signaling we had reached my floor, I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist; never breaking the contact my lips had with his for fear that he might tell me to stop. He got the hint pretty well and started stumbling to the room, wrapping one hand under my ass to help me stay up. I wasn't sure how people did that in movies and not make it look like it was a struggle, cause it was. We ran into the walls a few times and I just giggled into his mouth each time. He had started roaming his other hand around my ass, and I knew I had to take charge. I guided his hand and helped him grab before letting go and wrapping my arm around his neck again.

Thankfully, the card key was in my back pocket and he could find it easily with his groping. He got us into the room and I dropped my purse, not caring that it spilled all over. I hopped down from him, still not breaking the kiss which had taken on an entirely new intensity. I tore off his beanie and glasses and threw them across the room.

"Hey, don't break those!" Nerdy Sexy Boy complained.

"Sush." I told him before kissing him again.

Our tongues continued to dance as I started unbuttoning his shirt. Edward without his glasses and topless would make any woman swoon. There was no getting around it. He wasn't overly built up like Emmett, but he was toned and perfect and a little bit of reddish brown chest hair that matched his happy trail. I started kissing down his jaw to his neck. I wanted to kiss and lick all over that perfect chest.

"Bella, I… ungh… I have to tell you…uuuuunnnnnnggggghhhhh" I had started trailing my fingers down Nerdy Boy's perfect chest and abs and was getting dangerously close to his dick, all while I pressed my self harder into his growing erection. I could only imagine how good it looked considering what the rest of him looked like. Not to mention, he had huge feet and hands.

"What Edward." I whispered into his mouth.

"You're gonna think this is so… ungh stupid"

"I promise I won't. Just tell me what ever you need to say." I started walking backwards and wrapped my hands around his neck again to pull him closer to me.

I leaned back when I felt the back of my knees hit the edge of the bed, pulling him on top of me. He put his hands down on the bed by my sides to hold himself over me. He pulled back to study me for a moment before he leaned down and kissed me again, much more carefully than he had been.

"Do you swear not to run, or… tease… or anything." He was mumbling now, obviously embarrassed at what he was going to say.

"Edward, I'm not going anywhere." I whispered before kissing him again.

He closed his eyes and touched his forehead to mine, his breathing was still erratic and I could feel his body heat pulsating off of his chest down to me. I knew I had to be dripping wet.

"Don't laugh. I'm a… virgin Bella. I've never done this before."

I leaned up to kiss him again. "It's okay." I wrapped my arms around his back and starting slowly rubbing his back leading down towards his rear end.

Edward groaned into my lips. "It's not… I… uuuungh. Stop, Bella."

"Do you really want me to?" I whispered.

"No, but I don't want my first time to be repayment for making sure some girl didn't die or something."

And there were the breaks. _Some girl?_ I pushed myself as far into the bed as I could, putting as much space between us as there could be, placing my hands on his chest.

"Some girl, Edward? Really?"

"I… shit… I uh… I didn't mean it like that. I _do_ like you… fuck…" he rolled off of me, onto his back on the bed and I stood up and crossed my arms.

"Well then what _do_ you mean Cullen? Cause you're not just _some guy_ to me. And ps, I kinda figured you were a virgin the first day we met, but guess what? I didn't care. Wanna know why? Because I like you. I think you and, and, and your nerdy glasses, and you're crazy ass dark red hair, and your obvious lack of an iron, and your real man eye brows are all fucking hot, okay!?" I had thrown my hands in the air more than one time during my little rant.

Edward looked at me with another one of his mixed expression faces, but this time I couldn't sort them out. He jumped up off the bed and wrapped one of his long arms around the lower part of my back and shoved his other hand into the hair at the back of my head. He pulled me to him and kissed me with so much force, I thought I might fall over.

I fisted my left hand in his hair. My right hand started with its palm against his chest, but it somehow grew a mind of its own and started traveling down ward. Having learned from the earlier mistake, and not wanting to push Edward too far, I made my hand stop right above where the waist band of his boxers showed above his jeans.

"Look Edward," I whispered against his lips, "I'm not confessing undying love here, but I'm not going anywhere either."

My hand slipped a bit lower, and it truly was an accident, I was trying to use my hands to 'talk' as my mother called it, but I was sort of trapped and that's what ended up happening. Edward hissed.

"Edward, has anyone ever touched you before?" I whispered, "You can tell me, and I won't laugh. I'll never laugh at you."

"N-no. N-n-never."

"Can _I_ touch you? Just tell me to stop if it's too much."

"Yes." He whispered.

I slowly reached my left hand down to join my right in unbuttoning his jeans, he hissed again and I undid his zipper. I pushed them off his hips gently and let them fall to the ground. I made sure to never let my eyes lose contact with his, hoping the act would be reassuring. I put my left hand on his hip, and slowly traced the fingers of my right hand up his long shaft. It was longer than I expected and I was dying to get a good look, but I was sure doing so would only make him uncomfortable.

He started to grin and I took it as a green light for me to wrap my hand around his dick, so I did. He took in a sharp deep breath and his eyes got wide before he slammed them shut.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, not wanting to push him too far.

"More than okay. Way more than okay."

He leaned down and crushed his face to mine, kissing me with more urgency than the man had a right too. I almost got off from that kiss alone. I started stroking his length up and down grabbing just a bit harder with each pass. A few times I would wipe my thumb over the tip of his dick where little bits of moisture would pool.

I pushed Nerdy Sexy Boy down to the bed and sat on my knees between his legs. I had no intentions of giving him head that night, worried that he might actually have a heart attack, but it was an easier position for when he came. I continued my movements and when I felt his legs tighten, I knew he was close. I thanked the Sex Gods that I hadn't thought to make the bed that day and grabbed the sheet in my left hand for him to jizz into.

Watching Nerdy Boy's face when he came was probably the most incredible sight I'd ever seen. I made sure to take a good look at him all over, and when I saw those perfect abs convulse I shot my eyes back up to his face. He let out a few grunts and pants and too soon it was over.

Edward wasted no time in pulling me up to his face by the shoulders. I put my knees of either side of his lap, straddling him, while he held my face in his hands and kissed my furiously.

"Bella… I… want to… you know… take care of you… but I don't… I don't know how."

"Don't worry about me Nerdy Boy." I said against his lips.

"Nuh-uh. I want too." He kissed me hard again, and undid the fasten of my jeans. Thank God for stretch denim or he would never have been able to get his hand to the promise land. "You have to… tell me if something is wrong. I don't know what to do."

"This would be a lot easier if you let me take my pants off." I chuckled against his lips.

"Then by all means, do." I stood off of him and kicked my boots off before stripping not just my pants off, but the two tanks I was wearing as well.

It didn't take him long to grow hard again before grabbing me by the hips and pulling me onto his lap, straddling him again.

"My God Bella, you've got no idea what you're doing to me!" He groaned against my lips.

"Then do whatever you have to do to fix it." My voice was husky with lust. I knew that what he was prepared to do wouldn't be near enough for me, but I had to go with it.

He leaned his head back for a second to look at me and his hand trailed from the back of my hair, over my shoulder and down to my breast. He looked down at my lace and cotton covered breasts and let out a slight groan. His fingers danced across the top of my breasts, and I couldn't help myself. I reached back and unclasped my bra, letting my breasts free from the confines. Nerdy Sexy Boy's eyes grew to ten times their regular size. He continued to trace his fingers lightly over my skin, and when they came into contact with my nipples I sighed with pleasure.

His fingers didn't linger too long on my breasts and they slowly trailed their way down my stomach and dipped into my panties, finding my folds effortlessly.

"See, you know something." I whispered to him.

"Show me." He demanded in an equally quiet whisper.

I put one hand behind his head and forced his lips to mine, and the other I put over his hand, guiding his motions. I helped him find my clit and showed him the right amount of pressure to use, and what motions I liked best.

"Not all girls are gonna like it quite like that Eddie Baby." I told him with a devilish smirk.

"I'm not counting on being with other girls, at least not now."

His statement turned me on even more than before and I took both hands and fisted the back of his hair again, before kissing him. He didn't need guiding from me any more as his index and middle finger plunged into me and curled back and forth.

"Oh fuck!" I yelled out.

"Was that bad?!" He stopped his motions and looked at me with terror in his eyes.

I smirked "No way. Not bad, do it again, and use your thumb here." I directed his thumb to my clit. I leaned in to kiss him again, letting our tongues mix.

My climax was getting closer to me, and Edward released my lips, letting his own travel down to my jaw, then my chin. He kissed down my neck, and further down my chest. He hesitated above my breast and I pushed his head, letting him know it was okay. He didn't take much pleading with and pulling my nipple into his mouth. He took the hand that wasn't inside of me to knead the other breast and that's when I came all over his hand.

"Fuck Edward! Damn it, it's good!" I bit my bottom lip and he pulled his hand away. I noticed he was still hard underneath me.

I grabbed his head and kissed him again, then started grinding my crotch on him. I thought he might protest, but he didn't. It didn't take long for him to cum onto his stomach.

He grabbed the sheet from earlier to clean himself up. I went into the bathroom to do my post-penetration-pee. While washing my hands, I caught a glimpse of my self in the mirror. The smile across my lips could only have been bigger if I had gotten to feel his dick inside of me. When I stepped out, Edward had his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. I was worried until he looked up at me and his smile mirrored mine.

"Do you want to sleep here?" I asked as I walked over to the sheet. I liked the boy, but I wasn't about to sleep with his fresh jizz stains.

"Can I?"

"Of course."

I leaned down to kiss his head but when I went to get back up, he pulled me down to sit across his lap.

"That… Bella that was… incredible."

I giggled. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"Bella, please… you have to tell me something important."

If Nerdy Boy told me he loved me, I was going to fucking scream. I cannot have encountered two fuckers like that in my lifetime.

"Okaaaay." I drew the word out in hesitation.

"You didn't do _that_ because you felt bad for me, right? Or because you owed me or something?" _Well that's certainly unexpected._

"No. What the hell kinda girl do you think I am?"

"That's just it. I don't know you. I want to know you, though."

"I want to know you too Nerdy Boy." I kissed his nose and he smiled. "Are you ready for bed? Just so you know, most men fall right to sleep after sex, so go ahead and get your practice in for future reference."

Edward smirked. "Future?"

I sighed. "Yes, future. I do plan to keep you around for a while. You are officially dubbed Bella's Boytoy, keep up the good work, and you may progress to Boy_friend_." I laughed. "Unless of course, you don't want to be. Now that you've got a bit of experience, you might find other ladies a bit more appealing."

"No one has ever been more appealing than you." He mumbled, clearly hoping I wouldn't hear it. "And I've never been anyone's boyfriend, you'll have to tell me if I fuck up." _Why was I not surprised?_

"Oh I will. Let the nagging commence!"

I grabbed the tux shirt I slept in last night from the chair it was draped over, and a pair of boy shorts from the bag Alice had packed me.

"Um, I usually sleep… in my boxers."

"Go for it."

I remade the bed and climbed in, Edward stood between the bed and the couch not sure. I sighed, rolled my eyes and patted the spot next to me. Edward smiled and laid down on his back. I snuggled myself into that fantastic armpit nook thing that all boys have and drifted off to sleep.

**TWEET TWEET DaniVandal. P to the S - the title of this one says "sort of" because Bella doesn't get laid in the end. Hit that mighty fine green button if you could please!**


	10. Checking Out

**Lovely Readers – When I wrote the chapter mentioning Emmett's fraternity, I hadn't done any research. I know, stupid me, but I was impatient (story of my life) and in a rush and didn't take the time out, so I just made something up. His fraternity from here on out will be Phi Sigma Kappa (I also went back and changed it). **

**A lot of this (and the next chapter) is filler, but I wanted to show Edward's naivety(?) naiveness(?) whatever... Anyhow, I'm still really happy with the chapter, as short as it is. Don't worry though, after the next chapter, the goods will come about again!**

**Routine routine - I don't ownt Twilight. I do have a living room filled with toddler toys.**

9. CHECKING OUT

I woke up the next day to my cell phone ringing. I was laying on my right side and my left leg was bent at the knee, taking up much more space than I needed on the king sized bed. My left arm was up over my head, covering my ear. I blinked a few times to get a good look at my surroundings, but someone with the messiest reddish brown hair I'd ever seen in my life was blocking my view. He was laying on his back with his left arm extended as far as it would go, and I was evidently laying on his hand, while his right hand was under his head. _His shoulder is gonna be killing him today._ The covers only covered his left leg and part of his torso.

Edward's mouth was hanging wide open and he was snoring. You know how you see couples in movies snuggle up to each other and wake up in the same position, making no sounds other than steady breathing? That's all bull shit.

My cell phone was still going off somewhere in the room and Edward's snore broke. I looked down to make sure I was still dressed, and when I realized I was, I stumbled around the room looking for my phone. My purse and its contents were scattered all over the floor by the door, and I found my phone underneath a pile of my wallet and a bunch of old receipts.

"Bella, are you okay?" Rosalie didn't even let me say hello before she started speaking.

"Yeah, I'm fine. A little better than fine actually, but we need to talk about something really important."

"Bella, you can't make me stop seeing your brother."

While the thought had crossed my mind, that wasn't what I needed to speak to her about. "No, that's not it. It's about that pledge, Tanya something or other."

"Tanya Denali?" Her tone was incredulous and I could tell this would be quite the argument.

"The very one. Look, she's the reason I got so sick the other night. Sort of. She was there with James –"

She cut me off, "I know who her date was."

"Well, she and I had a little encounter that day about breakfast, and she brought me a shot at some point. After the shot, she just kept looking at me, smirking. I'm telling you, she did it. We all know about James' little hobby, it can't be a coincidence that she used his drug of choice on me."

"Bella, have you seen a doctor?"

"No." _What the hell sort of question is that?_

"Then you don't know _what_ you ingested."

"Rosalie! She drugged me!"

"You can't know that for sure."

"And you're not going to talk to her about it either, are you?"

"Of course not. Her family's got boat loads of money Bella, think about the donations that could bring us."

"You've got to be kidding me, Rose! Not only am I your sorority sister, but you're also dating my friggin brother! Not to mention, I could have you kicked out of Kappa Delta if you don't at least question her."

Rosalie groaned, "Fine, I'll talk to her. But I'm telling you, it could just be a coincidence. How do you know she didn't mention wanting to buy you a drink to James and he offered to get it and drugged them both? As you said, we all know about his little hobby."

"What ever Rose. Just check it out."

"Yeah, okay. Just don't tell anyone. I can't have it getting out that one of our own pledges may have drugged a sister."

"Uh huh, bye Rosalie." I hung up the phone.

Edward grunted a few times and started snoring again then rolled over. I noticed it was already nine thirty. _Shit!_ I ran over to shake him awake.

"Edward. Nerdy Boy, come one, get up."

I saw a playful smile form on his lips before he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to his chest.

He nuzzled his nose into my hair. "I'm not ready to get up." His voice was thick with sleep, and if I thought before that Nerdy Boy couldn't get any sexier, I was wrong. I could've jumped him right there if I wasn't afraid I'd scare him to death.

"Oh well lover boy, it's already nine thirty, and unless we plan on paying for another night in this room, we have to get a move on."

"Shit. Alright." He laid back and stretched, causing the covers to come off of him completely and I noticed his morning wood.

"Need a little help with that, Captain?" I asked and gestured to the tent he was sporting in his boxers.

Edward blushed furiously before covering himself up. "I uh… fuck… I'm sorry… I uh, never had a reason to hide in the mornings."

"Eddie, It's no big," I shrugged before I leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "I'll even help you take care of it if you like."

"I… I… I… I…"

I'm sure he would've continued to stutter like a fool if I hadn't leaned in to kiss him. I slowly worked my hand down under his boxers and when I grasped his rock hard pole, he shivered. Knowing we were in a hurry, I didn't really take my time to prolong it for him. Maybe it was cruel of me, but at least he got off, right? And not by his own hand, for only the third time in the poor boy's life. After only about three minutes, he got off all inside his boxers.

"Shiiiiiit." He groaned with his eyes closed.

I kissed his lips and ran into the bathroom to wash my hand, brush my teeth and get ready in general. When I came out, Edward had the comforter wrapped around his waist and looked confused. _This is going to be the longest relationship of my life._

"What's wrong Edward?"

"I didn't bring a change of clothes. I didn't know… uh… what was going to happen."

"So put on yesterday's clothes. Minus the boxers, of course."

"That's not gross?"

"It's called the walk of shame Nerdy Boy." He looked confused, "You go home wearing the same clothes you left in the night before, and everyone knows you got some. You should be proud to take your first walk of shame. It's like a right of passage. Besides, I'm sure you, like all guys, have put on yesterdays jeans before."

Edward glanced at his pile of dirty clothes on the floor and half shrugged. I walked to my own pile and started getting dressed, but Edward still didn't move.

"What is it now, Edward?"

"Uh… I've never gotten changed in front of a girl before."

_Oh now this is too much!_ "It's not any different than changing in front of a guy, except I won't be laughing at the size of your peen."

"What's wrong with the size of my… uh… stuff?!"

I sighed, "Nothing Edward. In fact, it's perfect. Don't guys do stuff like that though? Laugh at each other's dicks or something? I've heard Emmett and his friends laugh at each other's dicks on numerous occasions, even in public."

"Oh…" He sounded relieved and finally started getting dressed.

Edward carried my bag out to my truck, like the shy gentleman that he was.

"So… do I uh, call you later?"

I laughed, "What do you mean 'do I call you later'? Do you mean would I like you to call me?" He nodded shyly, "Then yes, absolutely. But give me enough time to run by my brother's. Oh, and I've got to take a nap later. I didn't get much sleep last night, you wouldn't believe how loud you snore." I shook my head.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Hey! I've got some homework I need to finish up, do you think you could come over later and help me with it? You _are_ my tutor after all." I winked at him.

"You mean to the Kappa Delta house?" He sounded concerned.

"Well yeah, that's where I live."

"O-okay… uh… sure. I guess… just call me when you're ready or something."

"Edward, is there a problem with where I live?" I made sure my voice let on that I was genuinely worried for him, and not being an uber bitch.

"No I uh… I've never been in a sorority house before. And yours is supposed to be the best sorority at the school or something… it…" he let out a big gust of air, "it makes me kinda nervous."

_Oh sweet Jesus! _"Nerdy Boy, you've got nothing to worry about. No one will mess with you, _especially_ since you'll be there to see me."

"Okay. So I'll see you later then."

"Yep." I climbed into the drivers seat of my truck and Edward was still holding my door open. I leaned over to grab the door handle.

"Bella…"

"Yes?"

"Can I… kiss you?" He whispered the last two words and I smiled.

"You can kiss me any time you want Eddie Baby."

Edward leaned in to kiss me and at first it was sweet and slow, but after a few seconds of contact, his lips became urgent and forceful. I turned myself so that I could pull his upper body further into the truck cab and deepened our kiss with my tongue. He tasted like toothpaste and a little bit like the bacon he'd had with breakast, and that combined with his smell of ocean and sandalwood nearly had me hypnotized. I slammed my head back into the sea and groaned when he let go of me.

"So I guess I'm good at something at least."

"You're good at more than you give yourself credit for. Trust me, last night was damn good."

I leaned over to kiss him again before closing my door and driving to the Phi Sigma Kappa house. There was a giant ass ape I needed to have a long conversation with there.

**TWEET TWEET - DaniVandal **

**Facebook: Dani Writes**


	11. My relationship with Emmett

**Lovely Readers! This is another chapter of filler, but at least it's good filler right? (At least I think it is...) I decided I didn't have enough of Emmett and Bella's relationship as siblings, so HHHEEEERRREEEE it is. **

**Ya'll are too awesome with the reviews I've been getting! **

**This chapter is dedicated to my siblings. I know we don't always get along, but at least I know that you'll always be there for me in some form or another (even if it is just to jump down the laundry chute and pretend to have died from impact; show strangers our underpants; dye our hair colors mom hates just to piss her off; pole vault in the pool effectively ruining the lining causing hundreds of dollars worth of damage; replace mom's vodka with water; well... ya'll get the idea...) **

**Once again - I don't own Twilight. I do own one roll of wrapping paper and I don't care what the occasion is, you're getting Transformers paper.**

10. MY RELATIONSHIP WITH EMMETT

The conversation with Emmett didn't go anywhere near the direction I was hoping for. I had gone there with intentions to talk to him about Rosalie. When I first saw them together, I had immediately started planning ways to break them apart. I'd tell Rosalie he had herpes if I had to. Hell, I'd even hook him up with Leah if God granted my wish of breaking them up. But when I pulled up to the Phi house and saw him on the front porch playing ping pong with a beer in his hand, laughing and joking with his buddies in a way I had never seen before, I just couldn't do it. He'd always been a happy and easy going guy, but today he seemed different. Better, somehow.

It took a lot to tick Emmett off (yet another way we were so different, he was the water to my fire) and if he did get mad, he usually just walked away. In fact, I only remember him getting into two fights in high school. One of which was with that obnoxious Mike Newton.

After that whole professing his love for me bull, Newton followed me around. It drove me insane, and I had complained to Emmett a few times. It was like having my own personal stalker. It got so bad that when I was kissing a date good night in my drive way once, Mike actually opened the car door and drug the date out. He slugged him in the gut a few times telling him to 'back off his girl' or something equally ridiculous and took off running down the street.

The next day Emmett had seen me go through enough of his crap and pounded him into the asphalt of the school parking lot. Emmett swears to this day that the week of in school suspension was worth it. Newton stopped bugging me, and we decided to never tell our father that I had ever even dated him, much less all the crap he was doing. We didn't like hiding things from our dad, but when your dad is the police chief and a seventeen-year-old boy is stalking you, it's not always a good idea to get said father involved. Especially since we were fairly certain that Newton was harmless.

I walked up the steps to Emmett and was greeted by one of his frat brothers who was sitting on a busted up cooler-turned-bench playing a guitar.

"Hey Beesley!" _Ugh, I hate that nick name._ It really was an awful nick name, and once one of Emmett's frat brothers heard him call me 'Bee', they tacked on the 'sley' thinking it sounded 'cool'. _Sure, cool if you're a cartoon character._

"Hey Ben. How're you?"

"I'm good. Hey, did Angela say anything about the social?" Ben had been Angela's date to the social, something I found out later Emmett had convinced him to do because Rosalie was complaining that her best friend didn't have a date.

"No, I haven't been home since then." Emmett's head snapped around at my statement and gave me the famous big brother stare. _Aw fuck!_

"Where've you been then Bella?" He demanded.

"Well, I'm pretty sure James got one of our pledges to drug me…"

He cut me off, "That red-headed one that brought you the shot?"

I picked up where I left off and briefly went over what I had been doing since the social. I obviously left out the parts about our fooling around and Edward being a virgin. I just knew that wouldn't go over well, not just with Emmett, but with all the frat brothers that were out there.

After I told my revised story, Emmett and I each grabbed a beer from the outside fridge before heading into his room to talk.

"Emmett, your room smells like mud and feet… and ass. That's gross." I said as I walked over to open a window.

"I'm a guy, my room's supposed to stink. Get over it." If this were any other guy, I would've curled my lip and snorted, but this was my pig of a brother and I was used to it.

The smell wasn't getting any better, so I opted to sit on the window bench. "Tell me about you and Rosalie."

"Tell me about you and Edward."

"Touché." I took a swig of my beer. "Have you heard from Dad at all?"

"Yeah he said something in passing about Jake coming down to look at a few schools, but said that he'd be mostly hanging around you."

I grunted.

"I take it that plan doesn't work for you?"

"No, it doesn't work for me _one bit_." I took a much deeper swig of beer this time.

"I'd take it easy on him right now if I were you."

"Why? He's not sick is he?"

"Nope. But he's dating someone and really stressed out about it. I think it's the first person he's been interested in since him and mom split."

"As much as I think I might die hearing this… who is it?" I took a deep breath and shut my eyes, waiting for the worst.

In a tiny town like Forks, there was a good chance that your single dad could be dating one of your old teachers, and let's all be honest: _no one_ wants that.

"Remember that kid Seth that's always hanging around with Jake back home?"

"Yeah." I opened one eye to see where this was headed.

"His mom. Evidently her and her husband were really good friends with Billy, but he died like a year or two ago. Billy thought she'd be good for Dad."

I let out the breath I'd been holding and opened my other eye. "Well that's… something."

"I talked to Mom this morning. She said Phil got some new client and raked in some ridiculous amount of money or something, so she's sending us some new stuff. Said it'll get here in a day or so."

Emmett and I continued to talk about new things going on around our lives, but never went back to the subject of our budding relationships. It wasn't an uncommon thing for us to avoid each others sex lives. We had each met a few of each others significant others in high school, but it was unavoidable when our high school was so small.

I once dated one of Jake's friends from the reservation that was a few miles from our house. Emmett only met him once when he came to pick me up for a date. It wasn't that we purposely kept things from each other; it's just that I really had no interest in knowing his girl friends. They were usually vapid, shallow and easy; Emmett's favorite combination before he went off to college and realized that women with depth could be beautiful too. He never really liked my choices either, I tended to go for the guy who smoked outside the gym and rarely showed up to class. Emmett wasn't really a jerk, and I wasn't out to cause trouble, but there's something to be desired in the dating selection when you live in a tiny town. Plus, most of the time we were bored to tears.

Emmett walked me out, "Hey, are you going straight home?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You think you could give me a ride?"

"Why can't you drive yourself? I'm not gonna be your personal taxi service now that you're dating someone in my house."

"My car is in the shop right now. I'm getting TV screens installed into the back of the headrests so you can play PS3 in the back seat."

"Emmett, that's stupid. I can guarantee that when _you're _in the back seat of your car, you're not lookin to play video games."

Emmett gave me a knowing smile as he climbed into my passenger seat. When we got to my house, Rosalie was standing on the front porch talking on her cell phone. Emmett jumped out of Betsy before I could even get her in park, and Rose hung up her call promptly. I was officially grossed out when I saw Emmett pick her up and kiss her in a way that was only appropriate for the bed room, which I was sure was exactly where they were going when Emmett took her inside.

**Hope it wasn't too short for ya'll! TWEET TWEET - DaniVandal**


	12. Didn't Think He Had it in Him

**Lovely Readers!!!!!! **

**I was actually patient enough to give my Beta some work, and it's a good damn thing I did. You woulda thought I was hittin the pipe based on how many typos and missing words were in this junk. In fact, my beta asked me if I was stoned multiple times... BIG UPS TO KRISSTAR!**

**This one's a long one folks! I'm starting to get a little... confused with myself. See, I'm very scatter brained and don't have too many coherant thoughts (just ask my beta) and I'm starting to get filler mixed up with non-filler. What I think is filler is turning out not to be... ssssooo I'm just gonna stop labeling any of it. **

**I also feel the need to address something important: I've discovered a few young'ins reading my story and adding it to their faves list. While I'm extremely flattered that they like the story, they should NOT be reading it. Sure, my story's got humor and all that but it's not intended for people who can't legally buy porn. So if that's you, please stop... I'll write something special and equally funny for my younger "fans" soon and I promise, it'll still be fun and it won't be patronizing at all. **

**Let's do this: I don't own Twilight but I do own a piece of crap car on blocks in my back yard.**

11. DIDN'T THINK HE HAD IT IN HIM

When I made it up to my room I locked the door so I could get changed and comfortable without being bothered. I even put the "Get The Fuck Away" door knob hanger in place that Alice had gotten me for Christmas when we moved into the house.

I decided the first order of business was a shower. I had taken one at the hotel, but lets be real, I just _had_ to wash the stink of Emmett's room off of me before Edward came over. Once clean and un-mud-feet-and-ass smelling, I changed into to a pair of grey sweat pants that I had cut off at the knee and white camisole tank top.

Alice came bouncing into the bathroom as I brushed my wet hair. "Hey there pretty lady!"

"I'm still mad at you." My eyes never left the mirror

"Even though you got lucky?" She winked.

I sighed. "I only got half way, no not even half way… we only got to second base Alice!" _Maybe that _is_ half way?_

"Seriously?!"

I turned to her and smacked her in the arm with my hair brush. "No, we went all the way and it was amazing and I just feel like making you guess."

Alice rubbed her arm where my brush hit her and mumbled something about 'this is gonna take more than I thought' before slamming her door. I decided to go ahead and let Edward know he could come over via text.

_I'm ready when you are. – B_

It took him almost no time to reply.

_Ok. I'll be there shortly. – E_

_Do you need directions? – B_

Another fast reply.

_No, I think everyone knows where the Kappa Delta house is. – E _

I assumed Edward lived close to the house because it only took him about fifteen minutes to get there. I was in the kitchen making myself a snack when the door bell rang. I wasn't expecting him to be there quite that fast, so I let Leah answer. That right there was a big mistake.

I peeked my head around the corner to see Leah letting Edward in as she scanned him up and down. It's not like she didn't have a reason too. His grey t shirt hugged his chest and arms, perfectly showcasing his lean and toned muscles. His slim cut jeans did wonderful things for his ass. He had that black beanie on again and a pair of beat up black old school Nike shoes. I suppressed a laugh when I saw that the shoes were missing their laces. _Who the hell wears shoes without laces? Nerdy Boy does… that's who._

I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was missing. I stopped my Edward ogling and opened my ears only to hear Leah coming on a bit too strongly. Poor Nerdy Boy was probably seconds away from peeing himself.

"You know Edward," she drew his name out trying to sound sexy. She didn't succeed. "I could use some help with anatomy. Are you available for… _private _sessions?" She traced along his chest with her index finger.

I saw Edward's Adams Apple bob with fear and had to step out from my hiding place in the kitchen to save him.

"Leah, the only person Edward's doing anything privately with is _me._ Are we clear?"

I had been slicing cucumbers for my snack with a large prep knife, and when I crossed my arms over my chest and the knife stuck up from the crook of my elbow. It made my threat look extra menacing. _Perfect_.

Leah sneered at me and Edward's shoulders relaxed as a lazy grin appeared on his face. Knife still in hand, I crossed the floor and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Hey Sugah. Did ya' miss me?"

I'm not sure where Edward's confidence came from, but I loved it.

"You know I did." He leaned down and kissed me deeply. I ignored the low whistle I heard from the stairs as well as the few giggles I heard from the den.

"Let me just grab the rest of my snack and I'll finish making it upstairs."

"Sure."

As I was walking out of the kitchen with my bowl of partially cut cucumber and my bottle of Italian dressing, our front door opened and Chelsea came in.

"Ooooh. Who's _this_?" She asked quirking her eye brow while sauntering towards him. _What is it with these women?! Is there a big dry spell in the house I'm not aware of?!_

I pointed my knife at her in place of my finger. "**You**. Back off my boyfriend. **Now**." I placed the knife carefully between my teeth to free my hand and grabbed Edward by the arm. "Come on stud." I muttered around the knife.

Edward leaned in to whisper "So I've been upgraded to boyfriend now, huh?"

He took the knife from my mouth so I could answer "For all intents and purposes, sure. But don't go alerting the parentals just yet." He chuckled. "It's more to keep the predators, also known as my room mates, at bay. The jury's still out on making it official."

Once in my room I finished cutting my cucumber and put the knife in the bathroom sink. Alice would understand if she saw it. I was laying belly down on my unmade bed enjoying my snack, thinking Edward was checking my progress on my Calculus assignment when I felt two fingers tracing along the large, blue swan tattoo between my shoulder blades.

"I noticed it at the social but wasn't sure if you'd want me to touch it. I like it a lot."

"Thanks. Emmett has one too, only his a little more masculine and it's on his left calf."

"What made you get them?"

"Our mom remarried…" I turned to look at him and shrugged my shoulders.

"So was it a rebellion thing? Do you not like the guy?"

"I guess it sort of was a rebellion thing. But we like New… er… Phil, just fine."

"So then…"

I sighed "Our mom is the type that will change everything about her for a man. I love her to death, don't get me wrong, but I almost wonder if I even know who she really is. When she married Phil she wanted us to take his last name. We just couldn't. Sure, Swan isn't some deep rooted last name with exciting history, but it's ours."

"I like how the neck makes an 's'."

"Thanks. I was sort of going for a play on the name and the image and all."

"Wait, did you _design_ this?" His eye brows shot up like he couldn't believe it.

"Well yeah." I snorted. "Could you honestly see me picking some random cartoon off a wall? That's _so_ drunk-in-Cancun-on-Spring-Break-ish."

Nerdy Boy laughed. "Yeah, I see your point."

I had to smile to myself thinking about how easy this conversation seemed to be going for Edward. We hadn't had an incredible amount of conversations, but he seemed less nervous around me. The conversation briefly turned to my home work and he said I hadn't really improved much since our first session a few days ago.

"Well of course not. I was sort of distracted." I rolled my eyes.

"Why were _you_ distracted?" It was the first time I had heard Nerdy Boy speak in such a strong tone.

He was always so quiet and reserved and… honestly, everything _but_ strong. I really didn't think he had it in him. I scrutinized his face and I realized what had been missing earlier.

"Where are your glasses?"

"At home."

"Is something wrong with them? I didn't hurt them when I threw them, did I? I'll get you a new pair if I did; just let me know your prescription." I was a little nervous. I wasn't sure if my mother would appreciate me using my credit card to buy my sort of boyfriend a new pair of glasses all because I ruined his last pair thanks to my raging hormones.

He chuckled. "No, they're fine. I have contacts in."

"Um… well if you have contacts, why even bother with glasses?"

"Because I like them. I didn't start wearing contacts until college. Sometimes I get headaches and being able to just take my glasses off is nice. Besides, taking care of contacts is a pain in the ass."

Looking at Edward without glasses and seeing him being hounded by the ladies in my sorority made me realize something.

He wasn't Nerdy Boy.

Yes, in all true aspects of the word, he was a nerd. Genius level smart, outdated clothes, thick glasses, a virgin at twenty three. But I was slowly discovering he was more than those things.

"You're not Nerdy Boy." I muttered.

"Uh… I'm sorry… what, now?" He scratched his head up under his beanie.

"You're not Nerdy Boy."

"I'm not really sure what that means, but… sure, okay."

I flipped over to my back and reached over, grabbing two fistfuls of his t shirt. I yanked hard to drag him to me. His feet stumbled a bit and I heard him grunt once, but eventually I had him how I wanted him. Laying on top of me. He had a palm on the mattress on either side of me and I wrapped my arms around his neck with my hands in his hair. I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him hard. I was sure he would object but I had to have him. I yanked the offending beanie off his head and tossed it aside to gain better access to that crazy ass mop of redness he called hair. I felt one of his hands come off the mattress and inch closer to my hip.

His hand hesitated and I could tell that even though our conversation showed an improvement in his confidence, it wasn't so improved that he could touch me without being nervous. I decided he needed a little help.

I guided his hand to my hip and helped him rub up and down my thigh a little bit, hoping he'd get the idea. He did. _Smart guys fucking rock!_ I felt him grow hard against my pelvis in all of five seconds. I shifted a bit so that I could rub my upper leg against his hard on and he groaned in appreciation. I made to sit up so I could take my tank top off, but Eddie Boy wouldn't let me move.

"Eddie Baby, let me up so I can take my shirt off."

He growled. He fucking growled! "No. I want to do it."

"Well then by all means." I felt his hands slowly skim up my ribs, barely grazing the sides of breasts. He ran his hands back down, and when he came back up again he brought the bottom hem of my shirt with him. I hadn't been wearing a bra, simply relying on the built in bra of the shirt that offered no real support, so when it came off I was exposed. The air was cold around my now naked torso and my nipples perked right up.

Edward hissed before lowering his head to my chest. He kissed all around my breast when he finally made it to my nipple I gasped. I didn't know he had it in him! The previous night he was so gentle and soft, he had sucked, pulled and licked, but nothing too vigorous. Today he was something else. His teeth nipped at me and I cannot even begin to describe how good it felt. I started tugging at the back of his shirt, needing it to be off, but I wasn't getting any help from him.

"Eddie Baby, get this off. **Now**." He sat up and was straddling my lap. He reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head before chucking it God knows where in my cluster fuck of a bedroom. I reached up to his shoulders and lightly drug my nails down his torso. He groaned loudly before leaning down and attacking my lips with his own again.

His tongue teased at my lower lip, tracing the edge. I parted my lips and our tongues were doing the fucking cha-cha. I reached between us to unfasten his jeans, but my hand collided with his. In my rush to get my hands on his dick, I didn't notice his hand moving towards my kitty. I laughed into his mouth and reached again, this time with nothing in my way. I got his pants down as far as I could with my hands before using my feet to get them the rest of the way down, but I got stuck on his shoes.

"Shoes. Off. Now." He kicked his shoes off and got his feet the rest of the way out of his pants. I wasted no time grabbing hold of his Johnson and started stroking and tickling.

Edward reached his hands into my pants with the same fervor that I had reached into his and immediately plunged two fingers inside of me.

"Oh fuck!" I groaned out.

"What? What's wrong?"

I reached up and pulled at my hair in frustration. I understood how new he was at all of this, but damn if the boy wasn't pissing me off!

"Damn it kid! Nothing's wrong! You've got to stop… stopping like that!"

"Shit, sorry." He continued his actions, and I continued mine.

I pulled and tugged at his length, relishing in the width of it. I still hadn't seen it full on and I needed to. I pushed him to the side of me and half way hovered over him so that I could reach, and see, his man parts. _Damn!_ I swear to God and all that's holy I don't know what I had done to deserve a penis that grand. I groaned and let my head roll onto his chest, stopping my movements.

"Bella, are you okay?" He whispered.

"God yes. I hope you're ready to fuck soon, because your dick is too good to look at and not have in me." _Oh Jesus fuck, please tell me those words did not just come out of my mouth!_

I'd always been a tad brazen and made sure I got what I needed, but saying that to my sweet, virginal Eddie Boy was just too much. I sat and waited a few moments, sure he was going to shoot straight up and take off, but nothing happened. I chanced a glace up at his face and he looked frustrated. Not just sexually, but in general.

His jaw was taut and he was pinching the bridge of his nose using the thumb and index finger of his right hand, his left still crossed over his torso resting on my hip.

"Edward, I'm… sorry. I know this is hard for you…" I was still panting and trying desperately to sound sincere. He said nothing. "Edward?" Still nothing.

I pushed off the bed and found my shirt. I pulled it on, and in a moment of insecurity I put on one of Emmett's old Forks High Football hooded sweatshirts. I cleared my dirty laundry from the small desk chair that I never used and sat in it for what I think was the first time in the two years I'd had the thing. I wasn't sure if it was the barely padded chair or the tension in the room, or maybe even a combination of both, but I couldn't help but feel stiff and rigid.

I could only stand the quiet for fifteen more seconds. "Edward, I'm going to go downstairs and let you have some privacy. Okay?"

Edward mumbled something that I couldn't hear. "I'm sorry Edward, I didn't hear you."

"I said I'm afraid." He yelled. "Are you happy now?" He threw his arms wide before letting them drop on the bed. His eyes had taken on such an angry look that I wasn't sure I could stare into them for too long.

For the first time in my life I was thankful to hear Emmett pounding on my door. I opened the door just enough to stick my head out.

"Bee, is everything okay in there?" _Idiot._ He didn't even try to whisper.

"Yes. Go away." I tried to shut the door in his face, but that didn't work out as well as I had planned. I heard some shuffling behind me and I was praying that Edward wasn't trying to leave without talking about this.

"No Bella. I heard yelling. Is he trying to hurt you?" I couldn't tell Edward was behind me so when I heard the snort I jumped a little and the door became wider. I chanced a glance back at Edward, and thanked the great Lord that he at least had pants on. We'd never have sex if my brother caught him in his underwear. Eddie Boy looked a little tense with his arms crossed, glaring at my brother.

"No I'm not _hurting_ her. I'm not some douchey bang it 'n' leave it kinda guy. I… look I plan on being around for a while." Edward sighed and dropped his arms. "Fuck it… never mind…"

Just as Edward started to grab his shoes to put them on, I slammed the door on Emmett's face, locked it, and jumped the poor boy. I grabbed his face between both hands and we toppled onto the bed with me on top of him. I kissed him furiously before sitting back and looking at the shock on his face.

"That was fucking _hot_." I said. He pulled away and I groaned. _Cue Bella's most sexually frustrating moment_ _EVER._

**TWEET TWEET: DaniVandal**


	13. My Really Bad Day

**LOVELY READERS!!! Things are about to get a bit more complicated in Bella's life, so my updates are going to start slowing down. I know, I know, it sucks, but you can't kill me because then who would continue the story? **

**Now, I have a question for all of you. Edward has a sister... and I've toyed around with a few ideas as to who I want her to be, but I'm not set in anything yet. Obviously I could just make up some random character, but where would the challenge in that be? So I have a task for ya'll: Who should Edward's sister be? I'm going to be introducing his family within the next few chapters, but not in a cheesey way. It will be in Dani fashion, thus probably embarrassing for both Nerdy Boy and Beesley. So hit the green button on the end of the chapter... no... not that one... there, right there, that one, and tell me what you think. **

**Let's have it: I don't own Twilight. I do own a vast collection of eclectically different music ranging from Bach to The Sex Pistols. **

12. MY REALLY BAD DAY

After Edward left me so frustrated on Sunday that I had to get myself off like a teen aged boy, I decided I needed to re-evaluate a few things. So naturally, I got out my pot stash and had Alice join me on the back porch. We hit the pipe and I went over the whole ordeal about Edward and his virginity and his fucking perfect cock.

"A man with a penis that sweet should _not_ have it on a shelf Alice."

She giggled before responding. "I agree honey, but it sounds to me like he is one of the few guys out there with a heart. Sounds like he doesn't want to give it up to just anyone. Look at it this way, most people lose it in high school and it sucks all together for a while, ya' know, until you get some practice in."

"What are you getting at Alice? Are you saying that maybe he's nervous cause I'm more experienced and he thinks I'll think he sucks?" I scratched my head and squinted one eye. It really did seem plausible.

"Well there is _that, _but that's not really what I was getting at. My theory was that he's been holding onto it for so long, that maybe he cherishes it more than the typical sixteen-year-old boy who just wants to hurry up and get rid of it."

"Oh God, Alice! If that's it then you know what this means right?"

"Not really."

"It means that if he _does_ give it up, I'm gonna have another Newton on my hands!" I groaned and let my head fall backwards against the porch post I was leaning against.

"Nah… I don't think that's how this is gonna go down Darlin'." Alice cut her eyes to the left without moving her head, and then cut them back to me. "Nope, I don't think this is actually going to end at all."

I groaned. "You mean he's not going to give it up? _Fuck Alice!_ You don't get it… I _need_ that peen. It was glorious."

Alice laughed at me, not with me, before saying "No, I don't mean that. I mean you and him." She shrugged her shoulders in that most frustrating way that told me that it was time for a subject change, even though I had more questions at that point than I did to begin with.

"I swear to God, Alice, you sound like one of those lame ass carnie psychics."

"You don't know I'm not psychic. What if I am and never told you? Huh?"

I snorted. "Yeah, okay Alice. Enough green for you lady." I took the multicolored glass pipe from her hand and hit it myself. _She does have a creepy knack for knowing the outcome of shit though._

"Bella, you should really talk to him."

"I do talk to him."

"No, I mean _really_ talk to him. You go around doing this witty sarcasm thing, but I don't think Edward is going to respond to that too well in serious conversation. I think you should take it easy on him about this whole virgin thing. Maybe you should let him set the pace."

"I know how to have serious conversations." I mumbled like a petulant child.

"It's getting late and tomorrow's my early class. Are you gonna stay out here for a while longer?"

"I don't know. It feels nice out tonight." For once it actually felt like the fall. It was a perfect sixty-five degrees with a slight breeze and almost no humidity. The sun had already set and the only light in the back yard came from the few lighted windows of the neighboring houses and the porch light.

I let out a large huff of air and ran my hands through my hair, feeling the waves beneath my palms.

"Alice?"

"Yeah Babe?"

I sighed. She was going to be so fucking smug after this. "Thanks for… you know… the social…" I scrubbed my hands down my face and when my eyes were free, I raised one eye brow before looking at her. _Yep… there it is. Smuggest fucking face of the God damned century._

"Mmm hhmmm, Bella." She waved her hand dismissively before slamming shut the screen door of the big Victorian sorority house.

I sat outside for a few more hours, not really thinking of any one thing in particular. Okay that's a lie. I tried to think about all of the other things going on around me but after about every third thought my brain would automatically go back to Eddie Boy and his perfect penis and his virginity and his seemingly strong aversion to getting rid of it.

Alice was a loud creature and in her typical fashion, she woke me up at the ungodly hour of six in the fucking morning with her bathroom banging.

"Alice." I groaned. She didn't hear me over the God damned blow dryer and radio. "I swear to God woman, if you don't start doing this shit in your own room I will personally destroy every noisy item you own." I said mostly to myself.

I like to think of myself as a fairly pleasant person. I love to laugh and joke around and even though I tend to have a short temper, I keep it in check. But B Swan in the mornings, pre coffee and muffin is something else entirely.

I crawled out of bed and started pounding on the stupid bathroom door.

"Alice! Knock that fuckery off! So help me I won't hesitate to shove that expensive as fuck flat iron straight up your ass!"

The door flew open and I was staring at a naked, angry Alice with black hair the size of Texas.

"Bella, I highly recommend you shut the fuck up. I didn't sleep for shit and I've still got to flat iron my 'fro and get dressed before I have to make it to class in an hour. I am _so _not in the mood for your morning nonsense." The good thing about your best friend being someone you grew up with, is that they can say shit like that to you and you don't take offense.

She actually slammed the door in my face and I realized I was too worked up to lay back down. I was up at six in the fucking morning when I didn't even have to be in class until ten. I meandered down to the kitchen to get my coffee and signature pumpkin and cream cheese muffin.

I was sitting quietly enjoying my breakfast for all of five minutes, contemplating grabbing a book to read when I heard a door open and two sets of feet shuffling. I glanced to the stairs to see who the hell else would be awake at this hour, because Alice was the only one in the house who had any classes before nine. The foot steps got closer to the top of the stairs and I could hear whispering.

"Look, I just won't tell her. It's not like she and I are close anyways." I recognized that voice, it was Rosalie. Who the fuck was she talking about? Or too?

"Alright. She doesn't know I've stayed over here before and I don't really want her to know. Not yet at least." _Holy Mother of God!_ I tried to work up a good yell from the outrage I felt, but I just couldn't. I was in shock. Actual shock. It was Emmett! And not only was it obvious that he had stayed the night (I'm not the only non-morning-person in the family) but he had just said he'd done it multiple times!

I quietly stood and walked to the bottom of the stairs. Unfortunately, I had to see Emmett and Rosalie kissing against the wall, half way down the stairs.

"Oh. My. God." Hearing him up there and seeing him up there were two different things. If I was just hearing him, I could say that maybe it wasn't him and my ears were playing tricks on me. This… nope. Couldn't pass it off as anything else.

Emmett groaned and me and Rosalie glared like I had done her some great injustice by standing in my place of residence.

"Bella, we'll talk about this. Over lunch. Is lunch good? Any place you want, I don't care how much it costs! I'll take you to the most expensive restaurant in town just please… do _not_ do what it looks like your about to do." Emmett was pleading with me from the stairs.

My hands were in tight fists and my breathing was heavy and deep. I'm pretty sure the look on my face was pure rage. I was livid. Because my brother, someone I looked up to, someone I loved with all of my heart, someone I knew more than anyone else and they knew me the same way… had lied to me. He fucking bold faced lied.

I knew he was begging me. Livid Bella often meant someone's face was going to be turned into pulp. I wasn't a violent person. I didn't usually have reason to be. I'd only ever reached this level of anger twice before, and both times were because some douche bag guy had done something reprehensible to a friend. Emmett was begging me to not hit either one of them.

My hands started shaking and all I could think about was how desperately I needed to get out of that house. Alice must've seen and heard everything because in two point three seconds she was at my side with my wallet, keys and phone. I ran out to my truck and peeled out of my curb-side parking space. I didn't stop until I got to the grocery store parking lot that was fifteen minutes away.

I called the first person I could think of that I would even come remotely close to wanting to talk to (aside from Alice of course, and she was on her way to class).

The phone rang a good four times before I heard a very gravely sounding "'lo?"

"Edward?"

"Bella?"

"Yeah… hey can I come over?"

The urgency in my voice must've woken him up even more than the phone. "Um, sure. My complex is the first one on the left when you turn onto Stonewall Road. Do you know where that is?"

"Yes. I'm about thirty minutes away." I had driven the exact opposite of Edward's complex.

"Okay, it's number two sixteen. On the top floor of building two."

It was probably rude of me to not say good bye, but I just slammed the phone shut and hauled ass.

***************

**So Bella came over last night and we had a little convo:**

**Bella: _Slumps down onto the couch looking at me angrily_ You know Dani, I can't handle much more of this. My fucking loins on are on fire here. **

**Dani: I know, don't worry, you'll get some sort of release soon. **

**Bella:_ cocks and eye brow _Really?! You're not just saying that? **

**Dani: Nope. So go shave your legs and your lady bits to get ready. You want to be dainty and fresh for Eddie Boy. **

**Bella: _Snorts._ Yeah okay... dainty... HAH... you're an ass hat. **

**Dani: _Shruggs_ Maybe, but I'm the ass hat that controls whether or not you get laid. **

**Reviews are better than Eddie Boy's glorious peen!**


	14. Edward's Apartment There Aren't Words

**Lovely Readers - There is a part of this chapter that may not go over all that well with some of you. I'm going to warn you now, the subject of abortion gets brought up in a semi-casual way. PLEASE DO NOT SEND FIRE FOR THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED. They just that, opinions... and you know what they say about opinions? They're like asses... everyone has one, and they all stink. Not everyone agrees or gets along with certain opionions and honestly people, there is absolutely NO sense in ruining the nice, fun atmosphere of FF by turning it into some political or religious issue. That's not how what I wrote is intended.**

**ON TO THE GOODS! I could've written this into one big chapter, but EH, let's not and say we didn't. **

**Regular shit: I don't own Twilight. If I did I'd be backpacking through Europe right now with my camera photographing EVERYTHING. **

13. EDWARD'S APARTMENT – THERE AREN'T WORDS

When I got to Edward's I pounded on the door so hard with my fist that I was sure I'd have bruising later.

"Jesus Bella, calm down. I've got neighbors, you know." Edward grabbed my throbbing hand and pulled me into his apartment.

He was wearing nothing but jeans, not even a little sliver of underwear waistband showing, and his muscles looked oh-so-enticing. I had to stop myself from drooling to remember why I came over in the first place. I'm not sure what it was about the boy, but he was just so _calming_.

"Here." He pulled me to his fancy brown leather sectional couch. Once sitting he crossed his arms over his chest. "So what's going on?"

"Where are your glasses?"

"Bella, you called me all freaking out and now you're here. Don't deflect. What happened?"

I recapped my morning to him, and watched his facial expressions. He never looked more than attentive.

"So Emmett has been seeing Rosalie and lying to you…"

Before he could finish the strangest creature came into the room. It looked to be about twenty pounds and maybe fifteen inches tall and had this wiry grey hair that had what looked like dread locks in certain spots. The mouth was crooked, the bottom jaw shifted to the right with a few of its teeth jutting out, and it had so much hair in it's face that you couldn't see it's eyes.

"Edward, don't freak out but some sort of strange animal just came into your living room." I whispered. Edward started chuckling at first then laughed. "What?" I demanded, a little peeved at being laughed at.

He made a clicking noise with his tongue and the ugly ass animal came over to him. He picked it up and nuzzled his nose into its face.

"This is Kin, I've had him since I was fifteen."

"What _is_ he?" I swear to God I wasn't trying to be a bitch, but I just couldn't fucking tell what sort of animal this was supposed to be.

"He's a dog, of course." Edward scoffed like it should have been obvious.

"Um… what _kind_?" I'd never seen an animal quite so ugly in my life.

"I don't know. I was out riding my bike around my neighborhood and he followed me home. I had always wanted a dog, so my parents let me keep him. He's really very cute. Look." Edward pushed the dog's hair out his face and held him up for me to see. It still wasn't any cuter. I tried to smile but it just came out as a grimace and Eddie Boy got defensive. "If you're going to be spending time with me, you might as well get used to Kinardly."

"I'm sorry, what now?" _What the fuck is a Kinardly?!_ I assumed it was the longer version of 'Kin', but I couldn't make heads or tails of what the hell a Kinardly was.

"Kinardly. As in 'can hardly tell what he is'."

_Holy dear God._ This man not only acknowledged that his dog was barely recognizable as a pet, but named him so? I was seriously doubting any sort of relationship with Edward at that point and about five seconds from taking off.

"Hey, you seemed really shaken this morning. Is there anything I can do?" The sincerity of his voice kept me seated.

"I don't think so. I'm just so… upset. Emmett and I have never gone into great detail about our relationships with one another, but we've never lied to each other about them either." Eddie Baby nodded for me to continue. "Plus, it's _Rosalie Hale_! That woman hates me with every fiber of her being, and he's _fucking_ her! Might as well give his dick over to the Devil…"

Edward choked on the water he'd taken a sip of and sputtered a bit. "Uh… well what do you plan to say to him? You'll have to talk to him at some point." Edward was playing with a one of Kin's little doggie matted up dread locks

"Or I can just ignore the issue all together and come whine to you about it when it pisses me off."

Edward looked at me like the clearly insane person I was and then there were keys at the front door. Kin started making a strangled rasp sound but his face looked like he was barking.

"What the hell is that? Is he choking?!" I stared wide eyed at the strange and ugly animal.

"No, the vet said that who ever had him before he found me had him de-barked."

Before I could ask what the fuck that meant a very typical college looking boy came into the apartment wearing nothing but boxers and sneakers, carrying his clothes in his arms.

"Oh, sorry Edward. I didn't know you'd have company so early. Uh, I'll just go to my room."

"No problem. Hey, this is Bella. My uh…" Edward looked at me to finish his sentence but I just shrugged my shoulders, I wasn't sure what he really was at that moment. "Bella this is Tyler, my roommate."

Tyler bent down to shake my hand. "Nice to meet you, Bella. Sorry about my… er… predicament." In truth, his smirk let on that he wasn't sorry at all.

"No big. Nice to meet you too."

I had to admit, the guy was hot. He was exactly the kind of guy I would usually go after. His milk chocolate colored skin looked so smooth that I wondered briefly if I licked it, would it actually taste like a Hershey's bar. He had nice lips and a wide smile flashing a set of too-perfect white teeth that reflected the light just as much as the large diamond stud earrings in his lobes. He was nicely muscled, not too big, not too small, and looked like he could've been the quarterback of a football team. The big earrings were a bit of a turn off, but I could always make him take them out. I was a big fan of body piercings but diamond earrings on a man just looked stupid. _I bet he wouldn't hold _his_ peen from me._

I felt a sharp elbow nudge me in the ribs and was abruptly brought out of my ogling by Edward. He was looking at me like I had just terribly offended him, which I probably had, and all I could do was try to grin a little before looking down at my hands.

To make up for it, I decided I wanted some alone time with Eddie Baby. "Edward, can we go to your room?"

"Uh, sure."

Edward walked me through his apartment and I couldn't help but notice the strange mish-mosh of clashing decorations. The furniture suggested high end origins, possibly even some imported items, but then there were things like a lamp with a topless hula girl as the base and a giant stop sign that was at least four feet in diameter with the word 'don't' spray painted above the letters hanging on the wall. At one point I even saw a disgusting looking pair of underwear pinned to the wall. There was even a keg in the dining room in place of a table, surrounded by fancy dining room table chairs. There was no way in hell I could just walk away from those and not say anything.

"Edward, why the fuck are there underwear on the wall?"

"Those?" He pointed to the underwear and I nodded, wondering why he would need clarification. _How many pairs do you _have_ pinned to your walls?!_ "Uh… I'm not sure if I should tell you. It's really gross."

"I grew up with Emmett. I think I can handle it."

"When I turned twenty one Tyler took me out with a bunch of guys to drink. I got trashed and they started daring me to do stuff. Those underpants came off of a homeless guy outside of a liquor store."

_Cue vomit._ "Oh God." My typical response would have been to bury my face in my hands, but the story was so gross and so enthralling at the same time that I couldn't move.

"I didn't wear them or anything. But I paid the dude twenty dollars for them so I couldn't just throw them out."

"So you put them on your _wall_?!"

"Well I washed them first."

"Cause that makes it so much better." I rolled my eyes and put my hands on my hips. "Did it ever occur to you that said homeless man could have had crabs or scabies or something equally nasty?"

"Not really. I was pretty plastered."

We continued our way into his room and I probably shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. I expected a room similar to Emmett's. Pretty much every guy's room I'd seen while in college looked the same. Bed unmade, clothes and just stuff in general every where, maybe even a beer bottle or can on the floor that hadn't quite made it into the trash can. Edward's room was nice and tidy.

His bed was still unmade, but any dirty clothes he may have had were tucked into his hamper in the corner of his room. Centered on the far wall, under a window, he had a king sized bed with a minimalist black head and foot board. His grey comforter had black piping along the edge and the four pillows at the head had matching pillow cases. His dresser was also black and with minimal design and was positioned directly across from the bed. In place of a mirror above the dresser was a large flat panel TV suspended on the wall. Below the TV, nestled between two medium sized speakers on the dresser were a DVD player as well as a digital cable box and a stereo system, all neatly stacked. There were two doors on the wall to the left of the bed, one was opened revealing a bathroom and the other was closed. I assumed it was his closet. I went to his bed side table to get a better look at the photo inside the black picture frame.

The photo was of Edward and what I assumed was his family, considering the placement of the frame, but nobody looked alike.

"Edward, who's this?" I held up the frame for him to look at, although I'm sure he didn't need to since it was the only photo in the room.

"Uh, that's me and my family. My parents, Carlisle and Esme, and then my sister Emily and my niece Claire." Edward's finger slowly traced over his sister and niece's faces.

I was surprised by a few things. One was that Edward didn't look anything like his parents. Two was that neither did his sister. Edward was fair with crazy looking reddish hair and green eyes, Emily looked to be of Native American descent. The man in the picture was tall and lean with blond hair and grey-blue eyes and very pale skin. The woman was petite with soft features. She had golden brown hair that tumbled over her shoulders in soft waves and she had a dusting of freckles across her nose and cheeks.

The other thing was that he said Claire was his niece. Emily couldn't have been more than twenty in the picture, and Claire looked to be about four or five. I studied the picture more, trying to make up some conclusion that wouldn't sound judgmental or rude.

"Emily and I were adopted as infants. My mother can't have children." _Well that answered two questions._

My eyes focused back to his sister and niece. Teen parenthood was not a foreign concept to me. I grew up in a tiny town with nothing to do, and kids got bored. Easily. There were loud parties out in the woods with alcohol, drugs and sex galore. These parties would make a Rolling Stones tour bus in the seventies look _fucking tame_. We were looking to anything for a rush, and it wasn't uncommon for at least five girls in the high school to be pregnant at once as a result of the boredom.

"Emily had her two months after she turned sixteen." Edward said quietly, answering only one of the questions I couldn't figure out how to ask. I looked at his face to see if I should continue the conversation. All I saw was hesitation, as if he was worried I would run if he told me more.

"You can tell me if you want too." I shrugged. "I'm sort of used to teen pregnancy." _Oh that came out so wrong!_ Edward's expression turned from hesitation to alarm. "No, I mean… shit. Okay so I told you how I was raised in this super little town, right?"

Edward nodded, looking quite confused.

"Well, we got bored. A lot. Forks is _tiny_, Edward. There is almost nothing to do and once the bowling alley closes, aside from First Beach there becomes _literally_ nothing to do for fun."

"What's wrong with the beach? Beaches are fun."

"Hmm… You said you grew up in Maine, Right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so picture yourself still living there. Someone asks you out to dinner and gives you the option of Red Lobster or a Japanese restaurant, which would you choose?" I was desperately hoping my little metaphor would get through to him because I couldn't think of any other way to describe it.

First Beach was a beautiful beach that edged the La Push reservation right next to Forks. It had pebbles of every single color, drift wood that was whiter than bone and water that was such a dark blue it might as well be black under cloud cover. It was quaint and charming and lovely, but that charm was lost on restless teenagers who had grown up looking at it. Unless, of course, there was a big party with booze and drugs.

"Ah. I get it." He nodded his head.

"Yeah, so we were all pretty bored and restless. There was a lot of drug and alcohol use, and it wasn't a rare thing for those things to combine with hormones, and when your brain is all fucked up, you don't always think about condoms. Not many girls were on birth control because most of the adults in town didn't even know their daughters should be on it. The ones that did know what was happening were happy to turn a blind eye, preferring to pretend everything was perfect. I have no doubts that at least a third of the income of the Port Angeles Women's Clinic came from Forks High.

It happened to one of my best friends. Jessica got knocked up and panicked. I wouldn't support her getting an abortion though. She would have been due during summer vacation, so it's not like she would've missed any school to actually _have_ the baby, so she could've easily given it up for adoption."

"So you're pro-life?" He quirked an eye brow.

_Interesting turn in conversation._ "Pro-choice."

"Oh." His face fell a little bit.

"Hey. Pro-choice _doesn't_ mean pro-abortion. It just means I don't feel like a person's choice should be taken from them. Do I think the choice itself is a horrendous one? Of course! But that doesn't give me the right to take the choice away from someone else."

I could see this was bothering Edward a little bit, so I went back to my previous subject. "Anyways, Jessica got all chummy with another girl at school named Lauren who'd been in her shoes and encouraged her to have the abortion. She'd already had two, the dirty whore, and Jessica did it. I stopped talking to her after that."

"And let me guess, the guy that got her pregnant bailed?"

"Yep. Most of them did. I'm pretty sure there were only a handful that stuck around, but that didn't make their girlfriends' lives all that much easier. Don't get me wrong, I'm sort of proud of the ones who did stick around, even though that pride isn't my place to hold. But you could see on their faces what it did to them."

"So did you partake in these parties and shit?"

"Of course. I was just as bored and hormonal as the rest of them, I was just smart about it."

"So you saw all this happening around you, you even lost a friend because of it, and you still did it?" Edward was angry, and ironically enough, his face turned the same color my father's had when he caught me and Sam Uley making out in the garage with Sam's hand up my shirt.

Something clicked in my brain right then. The reason Edward was still a virgin at twenty three years old. Emily was probably a part of something very similar to what I had done in my high school years, and it was obvious from Edward's tone that the daddy hadn't stuck around. Emily had her baby at the age of sixteen with no one but her family. She probably had all of two friends that stuck by her throughout the whole ordeal too. I had seen the girls in high school that chose to keep their babies lose almost every single friend. Edward wasn't going to put himself in the same position as she did. He was probably a normal hormonal teenager, just a bit of a late bloomer, and then this stuff happened to his sister and he just… couldn't.

Suddenly a second thought dawned on me: what if he wanted to wait until marriage?

"Jesus fuck! I'm never gonna get to have sex with you, am I?!" I yelled, throwing my hands in the air and slamming my body down to his bed.

**P to the S - That underwear story... yeah that actually happened to my older brother's frat brother. And I believe the underpants are still pinned to the wall in the frat house... And Edward's dog? Yeah... the dog I described actually exists, only with a different name. He's my God mother's dog. The name I got from my great uncle who had an equally fugly dog. I meshed the two. **

*********************

**Dani: _Taps her pen lightly on her chin. _So Bella, that was quite a little revelation there... **

**Bella: _Arms are crossed, she's scowling and looking at her feet. _Jesus fuck Dani! I'm not fucking talking to you. I WANT TO GET LAID! Preferably by Eddie Baby and his fucktabulous peen!**

**Dani: _Looking at little stunned. _Point taken. **


	15. Edward's Apartment Still wordless

**Lovely Readers - this chapter may seem like Bella is all over the Goddamn map, but... that's because she is. **

**Regs (but not the kind you smoke) - I don't own Twilight. I wish I did. If I did... I'd be bangin Robert Pattinson regularly. I can guarantee that shit. **

14. EDWARDS APARTMENT. STILL WORDLESS.

"Bella, _please_ calm down about the sex shit, okay?" Edward roughly scrubbed his hands over his face.

"I just don't get it. I've never known a guy who wasn't itching to get rid of the big V."

"Maybe I'm not like other guys. Maybe I want to really _know_ a person before I give them something so…" _I swear to God if he says 'special' I'm running. _"substantial." _I guess that's slightly better than special._

The way Edward was regarding his virginity like a sixteen-year-old girl was killing me. As much as I tried, I would never understand it. I always told myself I would get it one day, that day never came.

"I'm really trying to understand you here, but I just_ don't." _I shook my head and grimaced, because I was sounding an awful lot like that eighteen-year-old guy trying to get his virginal, younger girlfriend to give it up on prom night.

"Why does it really matter?"

"Do I have to go into detail as to what makes your dick so fucking fantastic, Eddie Boy? It's fucking incredible and all I can think about is having it _in_ me." I was starting to doubt if I even wanted this to go any further, especially if I was going to be spending all of my time sexually frustrated. "I _enjoy_ sex, and I imagine that I'd enjoy it a hell of a lot with you. I've had plenty of partners and none of them have ever had the heat you're packin'."

After my little rant, my ears got hot with embarrassment. I essentially just called myself a whore to my pseudo-boyfriend hoping that would somehow get him to have sex with me. _Could I _be_ more fucked up? Doubtful, but thanks for listening!_

I was _not_ prepared for what happened next. Edward squinted his eyes a little bit and clenched his fist. His jaw set, and the boy looked all hot and menacing. I would've never in a million years thought he could pull it off. His chest heaved a little bit with the intake of a deep breath and then, I swear to God, he fucking _growled! _

If I thought the devilish face and growl were something, then I was floored next. Actually, bedded would've been more appropriate, since Eddie Boy came flying at me and pinned me to the bed. I had to wonder what sort of work out this kid did because of the way he handled me so carefully and gracefully; I was barely jostled in the act. He was hovering over me, his form long and lean, his chest heaving at an alarming rate. He had a palm flat against the bed on either side of my head and a knee at either side of my thighs. I was being caged on his bed, and he looked like a truly dangerous murderer… almost. I probably should've been worried, because in reality, I didn't know him that well. Me being me, I was just so fucking turned on I thought I might combust.

I thought for sure he was going to bark at me next, or yell, whatever, I was taken aback though because he shoved his face onto mine and kissed me so hard that I felt like he might have a permanent Bella mold in his bed.

If his kisses were any indication of what he would be capable of when I finally got that damn chastity belt off of him, then I was going to be a happy fucking lady in the future.

"Look Bambi," _What. The. Fuck?!_ "trust me, I want you. But I've only even kissed a handful of girls in my life, and I'm not about to risk pregnancy and all that other shit until I know I can truly trust a person."

"You know that's what they make condoms and birth control for, right?" I couldn't help the sarcasm, I mean what the hell, this man had to know the advances of medical technology in the No Baby Making Department.

"Condoms break." He told me sternly. "And I'm not leaving birth control in the hands of someone else. That's just as much my fucking responsibility as it is my partners."

"Edward, I have to be honest. I think you're taking your personal experiences to the extreme." He glared at me and started to raise himself up, but I wrapped my arms around him and kept him close. "I'm not saying what's happened to your family is to be taken lightly, but… _fuck_ Eddie Boy! When people are smart, unplanned pregnancies are just really fucking _rare._ You're a smart guy, why haven't you researched this or something?"

"Why would I?"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe because you've got a monster of a dick in there" I looked pointedly at his crotch, "that's obviously dying for attention. And not from your own hand."

Edward buried his face in my neck and groaned out my name. "I just don't want the risk. If sex with you is going to be a fraction as good as the other night…" he groaned again, "I really want it. I really fucking want it." I couldn't tell if he was saying the last part to himself or me.

I pulled my head up to whisper into his ear, "Then take it."

Apparently that was all the persuasion Eddie Baby needed for the time being, because in point one second he was kissing me again and reached up my shirt. I leaned up, forcing him to lean up as well, and pulled my shirt over my head. Edward gasped again, because he's Edward and had the most virginal eyes in all of The University of Florida, and I imagine he'd gasp _every_ time I took my damn shirt off. Thankfully, he didn't take too long to compose himself and his mouth was on my nipples faster than I would've thought possible.

Kissing Edward was something amazing. He said he'd only been kissed a few times in his life, but who ever they were must've been the best damn teachers in existence, 'cause he was just that good. He took those kissing skills and applied them to my breasts and I was over the moon. _But think about when he finally makes it between your thighs!_ The thought alone was excruciating. My kitty started tingling and all I wanted was for him to be _in_ me.

His hand trailed down my stomach, leaving just the lightest of touches and down my pants. He slipped his hand under the stretch cotton fabric and started circling my clit with his index finger. I moaned and tugged his hair until his lips met mine. I could feel him smiling against me, obviously pleased that he could have this affect on a lady.

He slowly slid his finger thru my folds, and dipped it into the wetness, and into me. The boy didn't hesitate. He started curling his finger and hitting that _spot_ just so perfectly that I knew I'd become undone in no time. He used his thumb to continue rubbing light circles around my clit and that coupled with the fierce movements of the finger inside me had my body at war with itself. I wanted it harder and softer all at once.

"Jesus fuck Eddie Baby." I groaned out.

He grunted a "What?" in response.

"When you let me have that dick, it's gonna be fucking amazing."

He smiled against my skin and kept his movements going. I bucked against his hand involuntarily, and heard a slight chuckle escape his lips, but he kept going. He kissed along my jaw and down my neck before landing on my breast. He kissed a small circle around my nipple and right when I was about to cum, he bit down on it. It sent me soaring. I felt like I've never get off the high of Edward's fingers and teeth. The only reaction I could come up with was to tug his hair, and when he moved up to kiss my lips, I turned my head and bit into his shoulder. He hissed but I couldn't release my teeth from his skin. His hand kept going, and right as I thought one intense orgasm was over, the next one started. _This boy's got magic fucking fingers!_ I tilted my head back and whimpered before another intense wave hit me, causing my head to jerk forward and bite his shoulder again. This time, he groaned.

He slowed his movements, and eventually they stopped but his fingers were still inside of me. He sort of collapsed on to me and he let out another chuckle.

"So you enjoyed that, did you?" I could feel the smirk on his lips.

"Of course I did. You may be inexperienced Eddie Baby, but those fingers are amazing. Now… I'm fairly certain that if we don't take care of you, you're going to have the worst case of blue balls known to man, at least that's what your dick's tellin' me." I pointed to his giant hard on pressing against my thigh.

"Oh… uh…" I didn't give him much more time to answer. I turned him over so his back was on the bed with his feet on the floor and unfastened his button fly jeans. I was right, no underwear. I pulled them down and positioned myself between his bent knees. I worked him with my hand for a little bit but got bored.

I knew that my next move could go one of two ways. He'd either take it so well that he might not even be able to last long, or he'd be outraged. I decided to go for it anyway, because at the rate I was going he was most likely going to spend a lot of time mad at me. After all, I kept pushing the sex issue and he clearly wasn't giving it up any time soon. But I was hormonal and a teensy bit selfish, and God damnit he had the most perfect penis I'd ever laid eyes on.

I made sure his eyes were closed before I made my move. Very slowly, so that he wouldn't try to stop me. I licked the tip of his mushroom head, and took the small bead of pre-cum into my mouth. Even his spunk was better than any other guy I'd done this to. Don't get me wrong, all jizz taste wrong, salty and potent, but his wasn't that bad. Certainly not like eating ice-cream, but I'd tasted much worse.

I felt him shudder and had to smile at myself. I lowered my mouth and wrapped my lips just under the head.

"Holy mother of God! Bella! What are you doing?!" He managed to get all that out in a hiss, and I smiled. He tried to push me away, and he certainly was strong enough too, but I think he was experiencing so much pleasure that he couldn't find it in himself to really make me stop. So I pushed my mouth further onto him.

"Oh God… Bella…" He groaned again. I swirled my tongue as I brought myself up and then lowered my mouth again.

I can't lie, my jaw was starting to hurt already. The guy had amazing girth. While I was feeling the soreness in my jaw, I was wondering if I'd be able to take all of him when we finally had sex. I certainly couldn't take all of his length in my mouth; I had to use the whole width of my hand after I got him as deep into my throat as possible. I pushed that thought outside of my mind, deciding it would be better to not get too excited now when it could be months before I got to experience it.

I bobbed my head up and down, taking him as deep as I could and sucking on my way up. He continued to groan unintelligible words, but seemed to be enjoying it. At one point, I took him deep, and drug my teeth all the way up, pressing lightly.

"Oh fuuuuuuuck…" he whimpered as he fisted two handfuls of my hair. I did it one more time, slightly harder and he started tugging my ear. "Bella… oh God… I'm gonna… ungh… cum soon… Bellllaaaaahhhhh."

I didn't stop, 'cause to be honest, B Swan can swallow that shit like a master, and I wanted him to know it. _There you go callin yourself a whore again._ I pushed my mouth down as far as I could and swallowed, letting my throat constrict on the head of his dick. It sent him soaring and he quickly shot his load in short spurts down my throat. I swallowed him down like the champ I was.

I wiped my mouth on his bed sheet, 'cause I'm gross like that, and stood up. I pulled my shirt on over my head, and noticed that he was just gawking at me.

"What?"

"Bella, how did you learn to do _that_?"

"You really don't want the answer to that." I replied as I shook my head. He already seemed to be slightly offended at my level of experience, and I didn't want to verbally give him any more ammo. Sure, I wanted to _show_ him what I was capable of, but actually telling him? Eh… not so much.

"See… now after you answering like that, I _do_ need to know. I don't want to start dating you, or be your boyfriend, only to hear rumors from other guys about the shit that you do. Or did. Or… shit I don't know." He had sat up, but his pants were still around his ankles. I got down on my knees and started pulling his jeans back up.

"Look, I'm twenty-two, and I've been having sex since I was sixteen. I've had my share of partners, but I'm responsible and I don't have this long list of one night stands or anything."

He cut me off, "So then what's your number?"

"Where is all of this knowledge coming from Edward? Shit, yesterday you didn't even know what the fuck the walk of shame was and now you know about numbers and that ear tugging is the universal symbol to move?"

"I sort of… had a long talk with Tyler."

"You talked to your roommate about…us?"

"Sure. I've known him since middle school. He's like my brother." He looked at me like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I think I should get going. I'm sure that you'll want to tell Tyler all about this." I turned and walked out of his room in a huff.

I knew it was ridiculous and that I had no right to be upset, but it felt like he was a different guy than the shy, nerdy, adorable boy I had met. He was more confident, and was talking to his roommate about all of this. I knew that everyone needed someone to talk to, especially if they're just experiencing these things, but I wanted to be that person. I wanted him to come to me and talk to me about it. I wanted him to ask me questions. I wanted to be the one to guide him through all of these things.

That's when I realized that I wanted Edward Cullen much more than I should. I was a bit of a whore, and he was sweet and kind and untainted. I wanted more _of_ him than I should. I wanted to really _know_ him. I wanted to know him in ways I'd never wanted to know anyone else. I wanted to know the things that made him tick and the things that he liked and loved. I wanted to _be_ one of those likeable loveable things. That's when I knew that I wasn't right for Edward. He needed someone just as sweet and kind, certainly not a virgin 'cause the boy needed guidance, but also not me. My number wasn't outrageous by any standards, but I'm pretty sure he'd stroke out if he knew it.

For the first time in… well… ever, I was ashamed of myself. And it was because Edward was so good. Not just the virgin thing, but everything. The little bit I knew of him was wonderful. Exactly the type of person I could really see myself with and I couldn't have it.

I felt the lump in my throat and knew it was more than time to leave him for good. Now that he had some experience he wouldn't be too blind in the dating game. Right before I reached the door a set of long fingers wrapped around my arm to stop me.

"Bella, where are you going?" His tone let on that he didn't just mean right now. It was the most loaded question I'd ever been asked.

"Um… away." I croaked out. I didn't feel the stupid tear that trickled down my cheek, but Edward saw it and wiped it away.

"Why?" He looked so sad.

My emotional roller coaster was really pissing me off. How I went from getting two amazing orgasms and giving some of my best stuff to crying about having to give up this boy that I barely knew but really wanted to know; I just couldn't understand it. I'd never been very emotional, and it seemed like that day I was having every type come out of me.

"Because Edward. I just… should." I pulled against Edward's grip, but he didn't let go.

"Not until you tell me why you're crying." _Stupid perceptive, confident, dorky boy._

"Look" I pointed at my barely dry eyes, "see, I'm not. I'm fine." I put on the best smile I could muster, which was probably more of a grimace, and tugged against his grip again. He got the hint and let go.

"Let me walk you to your truck."

"No, it's kind of chilly today and you're not dressed. I'll call you." I gave Edward a quick peck on the cheek and left. I had no intentions of calling him. I made it to the house and up to my room before I let the silent tears of sadness tumble out of me.

************

**Dani: _takes beanie off and scratches head_ Bee, I'm not gonna lie Darlin'. I don't get all this shit. **

**Bella: _Looks furiously at Dani _NEITHER DO I YOU CRAZY BITCH! I want his peen, but I want him all! Jesus Fuck! I neeeeed him! _Starts panting all out of control with a crazed look in her eye._**

**Dani: _Slaps Bella across the face _Calm yourself! **


	16. Avoiding Edward Ends All Kinds of Weird

**Lovely Readers!!!! This chap is a lot of filler, but I think it gives insight into the artist Bella is. **

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT. I do own a really cool Zippo lighter though. **

15. AVOIDING EDWARD ENDS ALL KINDS OF WEIRD

I spent the next two weeks avoiding Edward. I canceled my tutoring sessions with him, but didn't hire a new tutor. I hated calculus and didn't understand why as a Fine Arts major with a minor in Photography I even had to take it. I spoke to my advisor about dropping the class and she said I could, but I'd have to retake it later, so I opted for that. Edward still called, and I ignored the calls.

Unfortunately, dropping my class left me with an open slot two days a week. I tried to spend that time being productive. I tried working on a photography project for an exhibit I had to be involved in, but none of my subjects held my interest. I felt like I didn't have anything to keep my mind off of him.

I kept thinking of the adorkable boy that I wanted to know. Even my weed stash wasn't working for me. Some how it just seemed to make my dreams of Edward more vivid. Alice tried to convince me to go out with her a bunch of times, but if I had to sit and watch her and Jasper make out I thought I might heave.

I knew my attitude had gotten to a horrible point when Rosalie seemed attentive. I had been laying in my bed pretending to read so that no one would bother me.

"Bella, sweetie, are you sure you're okay?" She asked from the door way.

"Huh?" Was all I could muster. I was sad and she called me sweetie and that was _weird_ coming from her.

She took a few tentative steps into my room and grimaced at the sight of it. I'm not a very tidy person. Clean, absolutely, I don't have old nasty food or dishes anywhere; I'm just exceptionally bad at putting away laundry and other crap. She picked up a towel off the floor and tossed it into the hamper that I never used.

"Bella this room is awful." _There's the Rosalie we all know and love._

"Did you come in here just to bother me about my room?" I grumbled.

"No. I came in here to tell you that you should call Edward and talk to him. He's been calling me and Alice non stop."

"What?" I shot straight up into a sitting position.

"Yeah he's been calling us all sorts of fucked up. He sounds like you told him his dog died or something."

"Well… tell him to stop. I don't need ya'll on my ass for even more shit."

"Okay first of all, _you_ tell him to stop. I'm not your messenger. And secondly, what happened? I mean, ya'll were like… attached or something for three days, and then nothing and you're in your room moping all the fucking time."

I sighed. "You wouldn't understand even if I did want to tell you."

"Uh-huh. Look, I'm not Dr. Phil, but you two seemed to have some weird cosmic connection, so I suggest you work on whatever the hell your issue is and get past it. Besides, I'm really sick of Emmett not being able to come over since you're here all the time." She glanced at her perfect finger nails.

"Oh you mean you're upset that you can't sneak around with my brother anymore? I haven't forgotten about being _lied_ too, Rosalie. I just haven't figured out what I'm going to do about it yet."

"Whatever, Bella. Just… figure your shit out. And clean up this room, it's gross." Rosalie left my room all pissy and I officially wanted to hit something.

I was contemplating a nap when I heard Alice call me from downstairs. She had been out shopping for our Halloween costumes and I wasn't in any sort of mood to deal with her chipper attitude at the moment, so I decided to make up an excuse to leave. I stumbled around my room and grabbed the first pair of jeans I could find, pleased that they were my favorite pair of ratty old skinny jeans. I threw on an old Run DMC t-shirt that had tears all in the hems and grabbed my throw back black Nikes. I put my messenger bag on over my shoulder after making sure that I had pencils and a sketch pad.

I practically ran down the stairs hoping to avoid Alice, but of course I couldn't. "There you are Bella!"

"Yeah, here I am. Hey I'm heading out, can what ever you've got wait 'til later?" I huffed out as I tried to put my shoes on while standing up.

"Sure. Where are you going?" Alice was giving me that look your parents give you when they know you're lying to them, but they want to see what you come up with anyways. It was a little unnerving.

I was instantly grateful that I had a pad and pencils, because that meant I didn't have to lie. "Um, Volturi, to see Eric."

Volturi was a local tattoo shop, and Eric was one of my best guy friends who worked there. He was an amazing artist, and had done my back piece. I had always wanted to be a tattoo artist, but my aversion to blood stopped me. Just the smell would send me lurching into a toilet, not to mention, I didn't really want to be covered from head to toe in tattoos. But I loved to draw, and Eric liked to consult with me on a lot of his work. Sometimes people would come in with an idea but nothing solid, Eric wasn't all that great at conceptualizing an idea, and that's where I'd come in.

My favorites to draw were old school pin up girls, but not too many people liked getting them. At least not in this town. I ended up drawing a lot of stupid butterflies to go on girls' lower backs' and a lot of tribal bull shit to go on guys' arms.

"Oh that reminds me, Bee! Jasper said he wants to talk to you about the design you're working on for him." Jasper also worked at the shop as an artist.

That's actually how he and Alice met. She came with me to get my back piece and they hit it off. With a shirt on, you'd never know he was a tattoo guy. He had half sleeve tattoos of various things but his prized piece was his back.

It had taken me about a month to get it drawn right. It was a giant outline of the state of Texas, and had a mishmosh of things in it that flowed together and filled the outline, representing his life there: a tattoo gun, a set of spurs, his mom's face, a guitar, his family crest, and a set of praying hands with the name "Kyler" under them on a banner. I had asked about the name once, he didn't say much but Alice told me the story later.

Jasper's first year of college in Texas, he had gotten his girl friend pregnant. She only carried the baby to six and a half months and he only lived a few days. It was a pretty tragic story, and he and the girl didn't last after that. Jasper dropped out of college and left Texas for Florida. I always figured Kyler was the reason he was so quiet and reserved.

"Sure, sure. I'll talk to him when I get there. Later." I waved on my way out the door.

When I got into my truck I cranked my music as loud as I could get it. I stopped by Starbucks for my pumpkin and cream cheese muffin and a coffee for Eric, Jasper and myself, not caring at all that it was ten thirty at night.

"Hey Beesley, how's it hangin?" Eric called from the counter as I walked in. He was sketching out a design and Jasper was sitting in a chair leaning against the wall.

"A little to the left." I smirked. "I figured I'd help you work on that shoulder piece for your client tomorrow."

"That's cool. Come on back and I'll show you what I've got so far."

I followed Eric into the drawing room at the back of the studio. Jasper, Eric and Felix never really used the drawing room for every day work. It was specifically for larger pieces that required a lot of time. Felix was the owner of the shop, and a pretty cool guy. He was in his mid thirties and massive, even bigger than Emmett. He had giant arms that were covered from shoulder to wrist in ink. I never saw his chest or back, but I'm sure they were covered too. His calves had some work, but nothing too extensive.

Felix was in the drawing room when we got in there. "Hey kids. Haven't seen you in a while Beesley."

"Yeah I know. Sorry bout that." I shrugged.

"It's all good. So have you given any more thought to that apprenticeship I talked to you about?" Felix turned in his chair to look at me.

"Not really. I just can't. I'll puke in the middle of a session!"

Felix laughed. "Nah, I think you'd do great, Slugger."

"Yeah okay," I snorted, "you keep thinkin' that."

Eric and I sat at one of the drawing tables and got to work. About an hour into it, I just couldn't keep my trap shut any more.

"Eric, this tatt isn't going to work. There's too much going on in it." I scrubbed my hands roughly over my face.

"That's the problem I've been having too. I've tried talking to her about it, but she keeps pushing." He shook his head.

"Let's go have a smoke break." I offered. Eric and I went out back and lit our cigarettes, hashing out the details of that monster of a tattoo that some tiny girl wanted on her stupid shoulder. I didn't care how much she wanted it, it just wasn't going to work. A few moments later, Jasper joined us and tried to help us with the details.

When we got back in, Felix wasn't in the drawing room or the main studio, the little red light bulb outside of the private piercing room was on, indicating a customer was being pierced in there.

"I wonder what someone's getting pierced if they're in there." Eric said with a smirk. That guy was really cool, but he could be such a pervert. He had a bit of a point though, that room was only used if the customer didn't want anyone seeing them getting pierced.

"Eric, you're nasty. I bet its some drunk off her ass freshmen getting her clit done." I giggled. The tattooing part of the shop may not have always been too interesting, but the piercing part _always_ was.

Eric, Jasper and I were still all leaning over the glass case slash counter in the front of the shop when the piercing client came out with a group of guys. I was pretty alarmed when I saw that they were all drunk, and even _more_ alarmed when I saw who Felix was giving after care directions too.

"Edward?!" I yelled.

His head jerked up and a lazy grin spread across his face. "Bambi! What're you doooin 'ere?" he slurred.

"Jesus fuck, how drunk are you?" I demanded.

Tyler started laughing hysterically before answering. "Drunk enough to get his dick pierced!" The three other guys that were with them started laughing and howling.

I felt my face go from horror to rage in a matter of milliseconds. "All of you, out of my shop!" I yelled. I grabbed Edward's arm, "Except you."

"Suuure." He slurred.

I put a hand on each of his shoulders and directed him to one of the couches they had for waiting clients. "Edward, why did you get your dick pierced?"

"Caussssse Tyler sai' you would wan' me back. Di' it work, Bambi?"

I sighed. "Eddie Boy… you need a shit ton of coffee and some Advil before we have this talk. Come on, I'll take you home."

I wrapped one of Edward's arms over my shoulders and tried to support some of his weight while we walked to my truck then drove him back to my place. Thankfully, everyone had gone to sleep, except for maybe Rosalie who was probably fucking my brother. I'd have to deal with that when I was done with Edward.

**Hope you enjoy!**


	17. Let's Talk

**Lovely Readers... this chap is a mix of things. One, it's got a lot of filler. Two, it's mushy mushy. Three, it's a big turning point for Bambi and Eddie Baby. **

**My updates are going to be quite a bit more few and far between because things are getting even more complex. In the next chappie though, Beesley is going to be addressing her brother. WHOOP! It's gonna be FUUUUUN. **

**I don't own Twilight... I do own the strangest headache right now though...**

16. LET'S TALK

The next morning, I woke up at nine a.m. with a half naked Edward in my bed. A sliver of light was streaming in through the break in my curtains, and landed on Edward's face, highlighting his strong features.

I tried to get out of bed quietly, but naturally I stumbled on Edward's stupid boots that were right next to the bed.

He groaned and covered his eyes with the crook of his elbow. "Ungh… my head hurts."

"I would imagine it does, Champ." I grabbed the bottle of water I had gotten out for him the previous night and the bottle of Advil. "Here, you should take this now."

Edward looked shocked to see me, but took the medicine and water anyways. "Not that I'm not happy to be sitting next to you… but how _exactly_ did I get here? And why is my dick throbbing? Oh God! Did we…?"

I cut him off. "No, trust me Eddie Boy. We did _not_ have sex. And even if you want to, you won't be having sex for at least a few weeks." He looked at me with the most puzzled expression and cocked his head to the side. I reached down and lifted the waistband of his boxers to show him his new piece of jewelry.

"Oh noooo!" He yelled. I clamped my hand over his mouth.

"Shut up!" Edward's eyes were bigger than UFO's, but he nodded that he would stay quiet. "You don't remember getting this done?" Honestly, how could a guy just forget getting his dick pierced?

"No. I really don't. Were you there?"

"Sort of. I was out back with a friend having a smoke when you came in, or else I would've stopped you. As fun as a dick piercing might be for your partner one day, I was pretty sure you'd hate yourself for it today. When I came back in, Tyler and a couple other guys came out of the private room with you and Felix, the shop owner, was giving you after care stuff."

"Was it a clean place?"

"Of course! Do you think I'd hang out at a dirty place?"

"No… of course not… okay…" He lifted his waistband and took another peek before throwing his head back onto my pillows. "Why am I in your bed?"

"Because I made all your little friends leave the shop and brought you here. I was pretty sure you'd want some sort of explanation and it didn't look like any of your buddies would be able to offer you one."

"I shouldn't drink. Ever. This sort of shit only happens to me."

"Edward… _why_ were you drinking that heavily? I mean, I get having a few beers with the guys but… you were shit faced." I shook my head trying to get the image of Edward slurring his words out of my brain. I didn't want to see my Eddie Boy like that.

"I was upset…. Rosalie called me and said that you pretty much didn't want to have anything to do with me, and to go bother someone else." _I officially hate Rosalie._

It was my turn to groan and fall into the pillows. "I'm gonna ditch class today."

"Bambi, you can't ditch class."

"It's just photo journalism this morning, and then I've got art business later. That's it. Wednesdays are my short days."

"Oh. I don't have class until six. Do you want to go somewhere… to talk?" He rubbed his eyes and felt around my bed side table.

"Sure. What are you looking for?"

"My glasses."

"Um… you weren't wearing them last night."

"Fuuuuuck." He groaned out.

"What?"

"I don't have any contacts in. I think I lost my glasses. Damn it." He slapped his palm to his forehead then winced.

"Okay, I'm going to get in the shower, it might be best if you join me. Alice hates waiting too long and she'll be up soon. I should have a t shirt and a pair of boxers you can use, but you'll have to wear yesterday's jeans." I wasn't sure how he'd react to showering with me, so I told him not to worry and that it was merely to keep Alice from turning bitchy so early in the morning.

Edward and I showered quickly and I got him what I could scrounge clothing wise. He smirked a little at the Betty Boop boxers. I managed to find him a pair of Emmett's socks that had somehow made it into my laundry.

Alice walked in on me telling Edward how to care for his new piercing since he couldn't read the after care sheet that Felix had given him. He had his dick hanging out of the boxers and I was showing him how to clean it the best way I could, knowing he couldn't see.

"Oh. My. God!" Alice yelled as she slammed the bathroom door open. "Is that a _cock ring!_?"

"Alice, shut _up_!" I stood quickly and used my body to cover Edward's naked cock.

"Oh no… I saw it. Tell me. Now. If you aren't having sex, then why?" Alice had her hands on her hips and had that parent look on her face again.

"He was really drunk 'cause Rosalie stuck her stupid face where it doesn't belong and his idiot roommate talked him into it."

"And why not take it out?"

Edward decided to answer that one. "Because I'm sure it was expensive and I'm not just going to throw my money away. It's already done, and it's not like I'll really be missing all that much until it heals."

Edward's logic made Alice's face fall. Obviously she was hoping for a more sexually explicit answer. "Oh. Well…" Alice slammed my door shut and went back into her room.

I sighed. "I'm gonna go brush my teeth. You can use my toothbrush if you want." Edward grimaced a bit. "Edward, I've given you head before." I sighed again.

I didn't wait for a response from Edward before wandering into the bathroom. I was putting the tooth paste on my brush when Alice came running in. She ran over and locked my door before spinning me and grabbing my face between her tiny hands.

"You. Have. To. Fuck. Him." She punctuated each word with authority. _Ah yes, my best friend, the sexual dictator._

"Alice, be quiet. He probably can hear you!" I whispered.

"Bella, that penis is amazing!" She whispered back.

"Duh! I told you that." I tried to wiggle my face out of Alice's hands so I could brush my teeth because really, Edward and I _did_ have a lot to discuss. "Alice, let go. I've got to hurry up."

Edward knocked on the door, "Bambi, are you okay?" _Oh God. _Ever since the first time I heard him call me that, I was hoping he wouldn't ever say it in front of anyone else. I secretly loved that he had a little nick name for me, I just wished it was something other than a cartoon deer. _Maybe I could start calling him Flower or Thumper._

Alice looked at me and I watched her eyes grow wide before she burst into giggles. "_Bambi?!_"

"Shut. Up!" I jerked her hands from my face and pushed her into her room, making sure to lock the door. I let Edward into the bathroom. "Sorry about that. Alice had a girl emergency." Edward cringed, I'm sure assuming I was referring to something about periods.

It only took us another fifteen minutes before we were in my truck. The sad part about driving to Edward's place, was that the only Starbucks that regularly carried my muffins was in the opposite direction by a good ten minutes.

"Uh… Bella, where are we going?" Edward asked as he squinted out the windows.

"Starbucks."

"There's one right by my house."

"But they don't have my muffins."

"Bambi, you're driving out of your way just to get a _muffin?_" Edward raised an eye brow at me and I gawked back.

"Yes." I replied. He muttered something along the lines of 'she's incredible' and didn't saying anything else until I asked what he wanted when we got there. He opted for a black and white cookie and a latte. "So you pick on me for going to the Starbucks that has what I like, and you order a _cookie_ for breakfast?" He just shrugged.

I was pretty thankful when we got to his place and Tyler wasn't there. There was however, a note along with Edward's glasses, phone and wallet sitting on the table by the front door. Edward put on his glasses to read the note, and I read over his shoulder. _Sue me, I'm nosy._

_Ed – _

_Hope you're not too pissed at me, but it wasn't really my fault. Blame that waitress and the 6 shots of tequila between all the SoCo and limes. Sorry Bro. Won't be home til late tonight. _

_Ty_

"Psh! It was too his fault!" I yelled.

Edward pushed his glasses to the top of his head and rubbed his temple. He spoke in a quiet, yet frustrated voice. "What do you mean it's his fault, Bella?"

"I mean after you got it done, I asked you why. You told me Tyler said if you got it done I'd want you back."

Edward groaned and tugged at the ends of his hair. "Fuck." He slumped his shoulders and slowly walked to the couch. He plopped down and rested his head on the back.

I knew that confessing my feelings right then and there would be detrimental to any progress we might make. The truth was, I already felt like I didn't want to be apart from him. The two previous weeks were pretty unbearable which was ridiculous since we had barely known each other, and only really spent a few days together. And even though I was more sexually frustrated than a porn star without work for those three days, I was happier than I had been in a long time. I felt lighter, buoyant even.

I knew that some part of Edward wanted me too. He wouldn't have complied with the fuckery Tyler spewed had he not wanted me, that much was obvious. The problem was that Edward was just _too good_ for me.

"No I'm not." He whispered without moving. _Shit! I said that out loud?_ "You're exactly what I want." He whispered again.

I cautiously walked over to him and sat on his lap. I cupped his face in my hands. "Thank you for thinking that I'm good enough to be with you." I kissed him lightly on the lips. "But you're good. And sweet, and kind, and attentive. I'm none of those things."

"You may not be all that attentive, but you're good, sweet and kind in your own ways. You're also brazen and beautiful. You're _everything_ I want." I looked into his eyes trying to find some trace of hesitation. I saw nothing but sincerity and it scared the crap out of me. I'd had a few long, committed relationships, but none of them were all that serious, and I had a feeling that was exactly what he'd want from me. I knew all along that I wanted to be with him, wanted a claim on him, but I wasn't sure if I could really be serious with someone so… wonderful, and not scare them away. Not knowing that made me want to give it up entirely. I didn't want to put myself out there just to be rejected later. That was pain I knew I could do without.

"Edward, you don't know me well enough to know that." I traced my thumb along his bottom lip.

"So then let me get to know you. You know that these past two weeks all I've thought about was how great those few days were. I wanted to hear you call me 'Eddie Baby' so desperately I almost called and begged just for you to say it. I've never really cared about people changing my name around, but any variation of my name from your lips is like music." He kissed me softly. "Music that I'd gladly hear over" _kiss,_ "and over," _kiss,_ "and over."

His sentiment reminded me of something. "Why do you call me 'Bambi'?"

He smirked a little before answering. "Because of your big, beautiful, brown doe eyes."

I buried my face into his neck to hide my blush. His answer was both sweet and goofy all at once.

"Don't hide them from me, please." I looked back up to him. "There they are." He smiled.

"Edward, I don't know if this is right." His smile faded a little, "No, don't be sad. I want to try, I really do. I just…" I took a deep breath. "I don't know if I'll be very good at being serious. I don't want to get close just for you to go away. I like you too much for that." _And being that I pretty much just met you, that scares the Jesus right out of me._

Edward's eyes roamed my face for what felt like eternity before his lips came crashing onto mine. His hand traveled up from my lower back to the back of my head, securing my face to his. Our tongues tangled together and for the briefest moment he pulled away. I almost whimpered but then he spoke. "Then I won't go away."

I pulled Edward's lips back to mine and felt him pick me up and carry me down the hall. Of course he stumbled countless times, but he never broke our kiss. I felt like my lips and tongue were on fire and I never wanted to put out the flames.

I eventually landed on his bed with him hovering over me. He pushed his hands up my shirt to my bra and massaged me. He kissed down my jaw and neck and nipped at my collar bone. Then he made a desperate grumbling sound, but it didn't sound like pleasure.

"I wish I could take you right now." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what now?" I sat up on my elbows to look at him better.

"I want you, now."

"What about all the unplanned pregnancy garbage you were spewing last time I was here?" _Seriously, what's with the one-eighty?_

"I did some research. Talked to Tyler. Talked to my dad." He shrugged again and kissed my shoulder.

"Doctor Daddy comes to the rescue again, huh?" I smirked.

"Don't say it like that. Look I just never really had a reason to ask questions before. No one's every really _wanted_ me before."

"I highly doubt that Eddie Baby." He groaned a little bit and I let a small smile creep across my lips now knowing that Edward liked the nick name. "I've seen the way people look at you when your glasses are off. Which, by the way, you're not allowed to go anywhere without them anymore. I like them anyway, and your mine and I don't want other girls drooling over you. Have you forgotten about the day you came to my sorority house?"

Edward leaned in to kiss me again and started working at the button of my jeans. My brain and my hormones were at battle with each other. I knew that giving Edward what he said he wanted couldn't happen any time soon for two reasons. One, his dick was in no shape to be penetrating anything; and two; he would be so upset with him for not knowing me more before.

"Edward, we have to wait." I mumbled.

"I know, like three weeks. That's what the paper said right?" He said to my lips.

"No, I mean after that. You said you wanted to really know a person first, you don't know me well enough." By that point I was having a really hard time forming coherent words. Edward had wiggled his fingers into my panties and was rubbing circles around my clit. I don't know what kind of hand work out the boy did to be able to send me over the edge the way he did with such simple touches, but I'd pay as much as I could to keep him at it.

"And you don't think the month and a half we'll have known each other by then will be enough?" He pulled away and stopped his finger and I was instantly depressed.

"For me, sure… but I doubt it will be for you. The way you've spoken about this stuff… I just don't want you to regret being with me."

Edward stared at me, looking ten shades of frustrated. I knew very few things about him, but I knew everything about me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it if Edward ever regretted being with me. If one day, down the road, we parted ways as a natural progression of ourselves, I could deal. But if he ever regretted me… I would break.


	18. I'm Such a Procrastinator

**Lovely Readers! So, this is NOT how I expected this chapter to go, but once I sat down and started writing, my little voices sent me in this direction. Plus, I got really caught up in the costume description. Unfortunately, I'm not going to have any links to the costumes, because I didn't find them or anything, I "designed" them I guess you could say. I'm going to try and sketch them and scan them, but I'm not very good, so I may not scan them at all. **

**Sorry it's taken so long to get this chap uploaded. The past little while has been loaded with stuff, so I haven't really been able to just sit and write. I'm almost done with the next chapter, which is where Emmett and Bella talk. Sorry to lead ya'll one way and then write another!!!! This one is mostly filler, but I had fun with it. **

**Once again, I don't own Twilight. I do own a cat who is staring suspiciously at the left over hot dog my two and a half year old left on his plate. I should probably go throw that out...**

**_P TO THE S!!! I'm almost at 100 reviews!!! I've gotten countless emails of readers who are adding my story to their alerts or faves, and I can't tell you how honored I am by that, but lets pump up these reviews and see if I can't get to 100!!! Only need 27 more!!!!!_**

17. I'M SUCH A PROCRASTINATOR

That night Edward ditched his class and we spent the evening just talking about nothing in particular. I didn't really learn anything knew about him other than that when he got excited his New England accent got a bit stronger.

I spent the next week sleeping in Edward's bed _not_ fucking him because, apparently, I had grown a damn conscious. When the girls at the house would see me come home for changes of clothes after class, they would all giggle like idiots.

Every morning he would ask if I planned on talking to Emmett that day, and every day I told him no. On the third morning he handed me a key to his place and I was thoroughly freaked out. Weren't keys supposed to be traded after like a year? I was also thankful that I couldn't give him a key to my place, sorority policy, don'cha'know.

"Eddie Boy, why are you giving me this?" I choked out. I was holding the key with my thumb and forefinger like it was a loaded diaper.

"Oh don't get all fussy about it. It's only because I've got to meet one of my professors really early tomorrow and I don't want you to have to get up at six a.m." Just as I was thinking that I had averted the crisis, he spoke again. "Of course, if you wanted to _keep_ the key, that'd be fine too."

So, throughout the rest of the week, I began letting myself in, it made Edward happy.

On Saturday, I guess he'd had enough. "Bella," he said, sounding like a stern parent, "you've been here all week, not that I mind, but I've seen you avoid your brother's calls like the plague. Why won't you just talk to him? It's been three weeks since you caught them and he's going to be at the party tonight anyways. Might as well get it over with."

Thinking of not only talking to my brother, but having to also dress up in costumes and go to a party tonight, made me let out an exaggerated gag. I shoved my finger down my throat for emphasis.

"Bambi, don't be such a baby." Before I could defend myself by telling him that I am _not_ a baby, my phone vibrated.

_B – Finished ur & E's costumes! They're perfect! – A_

"Oh crap." I mumbled.

"What?" Edward asked. I threw him my phone and he read the text message. He laughed. "Isn't there a theme to this party?" He asked as he passed the phone back to me.

"Yes. Famous pairs or something stupid like that."

"That could be really fun. Why did you let Alice pick our costumes though?" He cocked his head to the side, much like a confused Labrador.

"She had some plan for her and Jasper and when I mentioned you were going to be my date, she decided the four of us could all go together." A few seconds later, my phone vibrated again.

_J & I r on our way w/ the costumes. Can't wait 4 u 2 c them! Will bring Strbux! – A_

I groaned and tossed the phone to Edward again. "What do you want from Starbucks?" I asked. Of course, Edward wanted a classic coffee and a black and white cookie. In having breakfast with him pretty much the whole week, I learned that Edward ate cookies for breakfast. Every. Day.

The boy had a cabinet dedicated to cookies, and even some in his fridge. In the fridge were those sandwich type cookies, sort of like Oreos but some off brand. He had two kinds, the chocolate ones with vanilla middles and the vanilla ones with lemon middles. I had to admit, I loved those damn lemon cookies.

The cabinet, on the other hand, was loaded with all types of cookies. When I say loaded, I mean literally packed. Now, of course it was the smaller cabinet, the one above the fridge, but still. It was a little unnerving seeing a grown man with a cabinet full of cookies. _Too bad I don't bake…_

Alice and Jasper arrived with our breakfast just after I got out of the shower. "Where's Edward?" she asked.

"In the shower. He shouldn't be too much longer. Where's my muffin?" I glanced all around Jaspers arms looking for my breakfast. I eventually found it in a bag with two black and white cookies. I held both cookies up and raised an eye brow.

"I was sure the boy could eat more than one." Alice said with an eye roll.

A few minutes later, I was stuffing my face with my favorite muffin and Edward came out of his bedroom wearing nothing but slim fitting jeans and his nerd glasses that I freakin' loved. I made an audible gulp sound in my throat as he mussed his hair (really trying to tame it, but let's be honest here, that wasn't happening – the boy had more cal licks than I thought humanly possible) and Alice shot me a devious smirk.

"Here," she shoved a white shopping bag at Edward's chest. "Bella and I are going to go change in your room, k?" Edward nodded. "Jasper, you've got yours right? Edward, don't even look into your bag until I tell you to."

Alice dragged me by the hand into Edward's bedroom and threw three bags onto the bed. I sat down and started digging through the first one.

"Alice! I'm not wearing this!" I pulled out a dress that was so short I wasn't sure I could wear it without showing my ass to everyone. It had one strap on the right shoulder, and was made out of faux brown fir. It had a streak of white fur down the middle of the front and black spots all along the back with a deer tail sewn on. The bottom of the dress was cut in jagged zigzags. I pulled out a package of brown fishnet stockings with a matching garter belt and a pair of brown suede knee high boots. The boots themselves just screamed "hooker". They had a super pointy toe, four inch heels, and laced up the sides, to top it off, they had about three inches of faux fir trimming the top.

"Why not?! It's Bambi! He calls you that, it would be so fucking adorable!" Alice was practically vibrating with excitement. She must've thought her idea was ingenious. It wasn't. I was sitting stunned when she started pinning little fir deer ears into my hair. "Besides, I worked hard on making this costume, and it's going to fit you like a damn glove. You can either wear this, or your second option which is far sluttier and will require Edward to wear tights."

I got a bad mental image of Edward in tights and decided to go ahead with her stupid Bambi costume. I put everything on had to admit, it _did_ fit like a glove.

"Okay, if I'm Bambi, what's Edward going to be?" I could only imagine the skunk from the movie, and I hoped that she wouldn't do that to my poor boyfriend. 'Cause that's what he was now. Officially.

"Oh you'll see. I'm actually going to go dress him now. Wait here."

I put my ear to the door to hopefully hear something, and I was rewarded. I heard Edward yell to Alice that he couldn't wear whatever it was she was putting on him.

"Oh yes you can, Son. She's ruthless." Jasper laughed out.

A few moments later, Alice called out that I could come into the living room. What I saw, I was far from prepared for. Edward standing in a pair of extremely slim fitting grey pants… topless. With a white faux fir collar around his neck and matching cuffs on his wrists. He also had big bunny ears pinned into his hair, and black pipe cleaner whiskers glued to his face, near his nose. He had some grey and white faux fir shoes, resembling bunny feet.

I'm pretty sure my face looked something ridiculous because he motioned with one finger to wait, and then turned around. With the same finger he pointed to the white fluffy tail pinned to his butt. I couldn't help the hysterical laughter that came out of my mouth.

"You…yo…you're… Th…Th… Thumper!" I cried out between my laughs. I was laughing so hard that I stumbled, but Edward caught me.

"And you're the sexiest Bambi I've ever laid eyes on." He whispered into my ear. He kissed my temple and let me up. "So Alice said you opted for this." He made a gesture with his hand to himself and his ridiculous costume.

"Uh… definitely not." I shook my head. He should know better than that.

"Yes you did Bella. Remember? It was that or something else…" Alice crossed her arms.

"Oh yeah! Well see… I had to pick it Eddie Baby, because otherwise she was going to make you wear tights." Edward looked to Alice and shook his head, then back to me before kissing my forehead.

"So what about ya'll," I gestured towards the two of them "go on, get changed."

Alice giggled and grabbed Jaspers hand, effectively pulling him into Edward's room. Edward and I sat at the bar that divided the kitchen from the main living area.

"If they have sex on my bed, I'm going to be pissed." Edward grumbled.

"They won't. Alice won't defile your bed before you get the chance too."

A few minutes later, Alice came out of the room wearing a super slutty, super _short_ Alice In Wonderland costume. She wore thigh high white tights with black bows on the tops of them, and black mary-jane style four inch heels. Her blue dress fell just below her ass, with white ruffling underneath. The puffy sleeves fell off her shoulders, and the corset top pushed her boobs up near her chin some where. She had the white apron, but it was sewn to the top so that it didn't need straps (so as not to get in the way of the cleavage, don'cha'know) There was a big black bow in her hair, and a blue choker around her neck.

Jasper's costume had me in more hysterics than Edwards. He had on very tight jeans, like Edward, but his were spray painted in pink and purple horizontal stripes and was also topless. He had furry cat paw shoes, also like Edward's bunny shoes, and furry cuffs on his wrists. He had pink and purple striped cat ears pinned in his hair and Alice had drawn a curvy smile around his lips and had colored his nose pink. I'm pretty sure she planned to do the same with my nose. He also had the pipe cleaner whiskers on his face.

"Jesus Alice! How about you slutty-up some more Disney movies while you're at it!" I thought I did a good job holding in my laughter, but when I saw Alice turn Jasper and saw the giant fluffy pink and purple striped tail he had, I busted a gut.

"I was going to make him the rabbit, but decided against that when I picked Thumper for Edward. Then I thought about The Mad Hatter, but that's not very creative. I also thought about The Caterpillar, but I couldn't make that work how I wanted. So here he is, The Cheshire Cat!"

"You do realize that they sort of match, right?" I asked. Alice just shot me a 'shut up before I kill you' glare.

I just kept laughing. Jasper took it in stride, like the gentleman he is, and just lounged around Edward's apartment for most of the afternoon. I decided to just keep my costume on, because it was such a pain to get off and on. Edward sort of did the same, only removing his ears and whiskers.

"So Edward, why did you move down here from Maine?" Alice asked.

"The law program here is really good." Edward shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Eddie Boy, I thought you said you're a music major?"

"I am, but I came here originally for law. My sister always said I'd be a great lawyer, so I tried it out for her. After one semester though, I knew it wasn't for me. So I went back to music but I felt like it was stupid to go back up to Julliard when I had just moved and settled here."

"Where does your sister go?" She asked. I hadn't told Alice anything about Edward's family, or why he wouldn't have sex. I figured that it really wasn't my business to tell.

"Um, community college up in Maine. She's got a four year old daughter that my mom watches when she goes to school, so she can't go far from home."

Jasper was always pretty attuned to when people needed a subject change, and even I could tell this was not somewhere Edward wanted to go right then.

"So Ed, you ever thought of gettin' a tattoo?" Jasper asked.

"Actually, I was thinking of having Bella draw something for me, why?" Edward looked puzzled.

We all sort of forgot that the last time Edward had been into the shop he was completely obliterated. He hadn't seen Jasper since, and the subject of what I was doing at the shop never got brought up.

"Well, I'm one of the tattoo artists there. I could set you up. Bella helps with a lot of my drawings and has some of her own work on the walls there. She did tell you that she drew out her swan, right?"

"Yeah she did, but I didn't know that other stuff. I thought she just drew her and Emmett's." Edward turned to look at me and had the funniest expression on his face. Almost like he was realizing something magical.

"It's not a big deal Eddie Boy. It's just drawing."

We sat around talking like that talking for the rest of the evening. Alice ordered pizza, and after we ate, we left for the party at my sorority house. Every year Kappa Delta held a big costume party. It was sort of ridiculous, but always fun. Every year there was a different theme. When got to the house, I was floored by what I saw.

Evidently, Rosalie had the idea to slutty-up some Disney characters too. Her whore-ish Tinker Bell costume wasn't all that appalling, but my brother dressed as Peter Pan, complete with green tights was.


	19. The confrontation the shit and the great

**Lovely Readers!!! This chap is long. Really long. I know I've been holding out on the lemons, but there WILL be one next chap!!!! I promise!!! This chap has a big fat ugly twist, but I hope ya'll like it. Sorry in the delay getting this one up, that's all on me. My beta was fuckawesome and got it to me fast, but I've been busy doing... ya know... other shit. **

**I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! I do own a black cordory vest and black suspenders that I like to wear together. **

18. THE CONFRONTATION, THE SHIT, AND THE GREAT

"Good thing you didn't go for costume number two. That would've been tragic." Alice said in mock horror.

"I would've punched you." I deadpanned.

"Baby sister, what the hell are you supposed to be? And why don't you cover up a little bit…" Emmett boomed. _Greeaaat. _

"I'm Bambi. And I don't recall ever needing your opinion on my clothing before, so let it go." I said with my hands on my hips. I was _not_ about to have this discussion here. "Eddie Baby," I wrapped my arms around Edward's naked torso and smiled at the pink make up on his nose and his black whiskers, "take me to the keg please?" I asked as he wrapped his arms around me. Even though my intentions were to piss Emmett off, I couldn't help the wonderful feeling I got being wrapped up in Edward. And with no shirt to muffle his scent, I was damn near dizzy.

"What ever you say Bambi, love." I grabbed Edward's hand and intertwined our fingers. Edward had a very satisfied smirk on his face and his shoulders came up just enough to show his confidence had grown since walking in the door.

When we got to the keg, there was a group around it of people I didn't recognize. When I got closer, I saw James and Tanya. James looked like a ridiculously fake vampire, plastic fangs and all, and Tanya had on some nineteenth century peasant looking clothing, a big nasty looking fake vampire bite on her neck, and pale makeup everywhere else. Tanya's strawberry curls honestly looked a little strange with the pasty make up. _I bet she'd be hideous dead._ _Where the FUCK did that thought come from?!_

"What the fuck are you two supposed to be?!" James roared out in laughter, pointing at Edward and I.

"Bambi and Thumper." Edward answered. I probably would've sounded a bit ashamed. Not that I'm ever ashamed to be with Edward, quite the opposite actually, but going to an adult costume kegger as Bambi and Thumper… well… yeah, you get the idea. James laughed harder. "At least my girl's got the hottest body in here." Edward sneered. James shut up.

I'd never heard this possessive Edward, and I liked him. My lady bits were starting to tingle and I really just wanted to get him up to my room. His penis piercing, which we later learned was called a ferenulum piercing, was healed to the point that I could jack Eddie Boy off, but I was still a little nervous about hurting him.

"Whatever, fucking dork." James grumbled.

"Excuse me, what now?" I yelled. I'd had about enough of people calling Edward names.

"Baby, let's go somewhere else." Tanya pleaded with James.

"Oh no bitch, you and I still need to have a little chat. You fucking drugged me at the social a few weeks ago." I said with my hands on my fur covered hips. It was a little hard to be serious and pissed off in this Bambi get up, but I did my best. "Honestly, I don't know why your ass is still here."

"I know Bella. I'm really sorry. I honestly didn't know." Tanya said with a coy smile. _Uh-huh. And China's an island._

"I don't believe you." I sternly told her.

"Good thing you don't have too." She spat back.

"Okay ladies. Bella, I got you a beer. Come on, love, let's go somewhere less rancid." Edward said loud enough for everyone to hear. Most everyone that had gathered around laughed. I had been learning over the past few weeks that no one really _liked_ Tanya. Her status as pledge had been put on hold while a few other girls had already been accepted, which lead me to believe Emmett was putting the strain on Rosalie to give her the axe.

Which brings us back to the whole Emmett and Rosalie situation. I sighed as we were walking past them at the table that served as a bar.

"Don't let them get to you Bambi." Edward whispered as he nodded towards James and Tanya.

"No, it's not them. I don't know what to say to Emmett." I buried my face in Edward's chest to take in as much of his ocean and sandalwood smell as I could.

"How about you go up to your room, and I'll send him up?" I looked up at Edward and smiled. I kissed him lightly on the lips and nodded my head.

Sitting on my bed kicking my feet actually reminded me a lot of waiting on a parent to come scold me. I hadn't been a total trouble maker growing up, but I'd done enough things to get my fair share of punishments. It was pretty much always something that Emmett was involved with. Cherry bombs in the reverend's mailbox; toilet papering the local sporting goods store; forking various yards. I remember when Emmett first told me about forking. I thought it was a stupid play on the town's name. I was wrong.

_"Ya see here, Bee. You take these forks and stick them in the ground like this," he stuck the plastic fork in the ground, spikes down, "it'll look like a weird grave yard when we're done. And it's a real bitch to clean up." _

I was laughing at the memory when Emmett knocked on the door as he walked in.

"Uh… hi." He said quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I was never known for beating around the bush.

"Because I knew you'd freak out. I wanted to wait until I was at least semi serious about her before I told you. I knew that if it didn't end up working out, I would have fought with you for nothing."

His words stuck me like needle pricks in my fingers. _I_ had inadvertently kept my brother from telling me that he was in a relationship he was happy with. I knew it had entirely to do with my reactions. He knew Rosalie and I didn't get a long at all. The realization that shocked me the most was that Rosalie had no idea who I was until the night of the social.

"Why didn't you tell Rosalie about me?" My tone had changed from anger to curiosity.

"Because she's more of a pistol than you are Beesley." The typical man would've chuckled after that statement, but my brother did not. "You don't know how hard it's been for me, hiding the two most important women in my life from each other. I haven't been able to tell anyone. Both Mom and Dad would've given me shit about dating a girl that you fight with so much, and then let it slip at some point. I've already met her parents, ya' know."

"When?" I knew that meeting parents was a big deal, and if I knew when he met them I might have a better idea as to how long this had been going on. _'Cause, ya know, _asking_ would be too easy._

"Remember back in September when I said I was going to a concert in Tallahassee?" I nodded. "Then. I really did go there though; her parents live just outside of the city limits. They're great people."

I snorted. I couldn't imagine the people that created Rosalie being anything other than the devil and his mistress. She had spent the past two years of my life making college the most miserable place in the universe for me. College was supposed to be a fun, drunken, somewhat educational experience. The last few years of childhood you could really retain without people over forty telling you to tone it down. Rosalie made it about formal gowns, costumes, fund raisers, hiring me tutors when she thought my grades made the sorority look bad (one of which I was quite happy to have met), and trying to keep my 'behavior in check'.

"No really, they are. Rosalie looks a lot like her mom, but she's got her dad's fire in her eyes."

"Ugh, shut up Emmett. I don't want to think of Rosalie as an actual person." So I was making it difficult. He'd blatantly lied to me, and I felt like I had a right to be.

Emmett was a lot of things: big, brawny, perpetually happy, laid back, etc. Perceptive was not one of his many traits. His brain tended to linger around football, beer, boobs and of course the occasional prank. Anyone we grew up with would've been shocked to hear his next statement because it meant that he was actually tuning into my feelings. Well, as best as Emmett could at least.

"I know you feel blindsided and like you've got all the reason and right in the world to be pissy with me, but here's the thing. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Rosie," O_h gag me! Rosie?! _"and I'd like it very much if you could at least attempt some sort of half way descent relationship with her. You don't have to be her best friend, but I think she's _the_ _one_ and that means I plan to keep her around for a while."

Maybe it was because I thought of Rosalie as poison, but I couldn't picture any man actually wanting to marry her; much less my brother. They were so… _different._ Too different. _As different as me and Edward?_

Even though Edward and I were as different as they came, I could see a future with him. Maybe I'd marry him and be happy with that, but it wasn't high on my priority list, I certainly didn't want children, but I could be with him in the long run. I could buy a home with him and fill it with crap like his topless hula dancer lamp and all my film festival posters. We could even have a little room that I could draw in while I listened to him compose his music. We'd have my photography combined with pictures of us from all over the world on every flat surface that I could fit a frame on to.

I loved the future I painted for Edward and I. And realizing I loved it made me realize that maybe, just _maybe,_ one day I could love Edward too. I had already felt stronger feelings for him than I thought I could conjure, so it wasn't an entirely abstract thought. But that also meant that I'd have to accept my brother's choice. Because knowing that I could have a future that made me happier than Chris Farley at an all you can eat buffet, meant that so could Emmett. And I shouldn't stop him from that, because he wouldn't stop me.

"Okay." I murmured.

"What?"

"I said 'okay'. Sure. Be with her and I'll accept it. It'll be weird at first, and I'm _not_ double dating with you two, but sure. Go ahead. You've got my blessing or whatever the fuck it is you want."

"Really?"

I sighed. "Yes, really." Emmett took a few strides across my messy floor and wrapped in a huge bear hug. "Thanks Beesley. It really does mean a lot to me. So, do I get to officially meet Edward as your boyfriend now?"

This was what I had been avoiding. Okay, that's not true… all of it I had been avoiding, but this was pretty bad. Emmett liked to stay as far out of my sex life as possible, thus never introducing himself to anyone he didn't think he'd see all that often. There were a few boys back home that I'd been as close to serious about as I ever got, and when he met them, they ended up sitting up as rigid as a plank with their eyes as wide as possible, not blinking at all. They'd sit there, stunned, waiting for Emmett to leave before turning to me and asking something along the lines of "Is he for real?" to which I'd usually reply "Sadly, yes. Why, having second thoughts?"

"Look, Edward's sort of… important. So please, don't be your usual dick head self." I requested in a quiet voice.

"Huh… you really like him. Uh... have you… er… slept with him?"

"No. It's not just about sex. It's… different." No need to confess that we stayed in a perpetual state of sexual frustration.

"Rosalie said you haven't slept at home all week." Emmett had crossed his arms and his stance and expression looked identical to a younger version of our dad. I sighed.

"Look, if this whole _thing_" I waved my hand in a circle "is going to work, you can't use Rosalie as a spy or whatever. I've got my own stuff going on and I don't really want your nose all in it. Remember the days when we stayed the hell away from each other's relationships?"

"I don't think that's going to work any more, Bee. I mean, we're too closely involved now. I'm _with_ your sorority president. So… are you going to tell me about Edward?"

I sighed and relented as he came and sat next to me on my bed. I knew he was right. The circles were too closely mingled by that point. Even his frat brother Ben was dating the Kappa Delta vice president, Angela (who by the way, were dressed as Romeo and Juliet).

"So that's everything." I said at the end of my explanation. I left out the parts about his dick piercing though. I did tell him about why he was so adamant about not having sex, but this was my brother. I knew I could trust Emmett with anything.

"That's pretty heavy. Are you sure you want to be with a guy who's got that sort of baggage in his family?" Emmett's voice was full of concern for his baby sister. I couldn't help but smile.

"I don't look at it as baggage." I confessed as I shrugged. Because I didn't. I looked at it as Edward's family, and that was it. "If either of us has family baggage, it'd be me. Divided family, crazy mother, New Daddy and all that. Plus, I've got this ape of a brother." I nudged him with my elbow.

Edward knocked on the door. "Hey, is everything okay?"

Emmett and I glanced at each other and then both said "Yup." at the same time.

"Okay, well. Your mom just called your cell Bella." Edward tossed my phone to me and I called my mother back.

"Bella, honey! Why didn't you answer?" My mother yelled. I didn't get my bluntness from my father.

"I'm at a Halloween party."

"Oh. Are you dressed up? What as?"

"I'm not telling you that, but I will tell you Emmett is in tights." I snickered and Emmett rolled his eyes.

"Oh your brother's there! Fantastic! Phil and I have something important to tell you both. Can you put him on speaker?"

"Sure Mom, hold on." I walked across the room and pulled Edward in before shutting the door to block out the downstairs noise, before turning on the speaker phone. "Okay Mom, we're all ears."

"Hi Emmett!" My mother yelled again.

"Hi Mom. Why are we on speaker?" Emmett replied.

"Well, Phil and I have something really important to tell you." Now, at that point I sort of figured it would be something about another big client for Phil and that they wanted to buy us new cars again. Maybe even that they were moving. I was not expecting what came next. In. The. Least.

"Alright, well tell us, Mom." Emmett boomed. He always liked surprises.

"Phil and I are having a baby!" My mom squealed the sentence and I dropped the phone. "Bella? Emmett? Hey guys?"

Edward had the good sense to pick up the phone but kept it on speaker. "Uh, hi, this is Edward. Bella's boyfriend. They're both a little… shocked. Should I have them call you back?"

"Edward… oh! How cute! Yes, sure have them call us back! They must be so excited that they can't talk! Maybe Bella will throw me a baby shower! Bye Edward! Tell them I love them!"

"Yes ma'am. Bye." Edward hung the phone up.

Emmett and I just stared at each other. I'm not sure how many minutes passed before I sat down on the desk chair I had only sat on once before.

"I need a cigarette." I croaked out.

"Me too." Emmett mumbled. Emmett never smoked. He always complained about my 'dirty little habit'. But I couldn't bring myself to pick on him about asking me for one. This news was just so wrong on so many levels.

Emmett and I walked down the stairs in a trance like state followed by Edward. At one point he ran off and when we got to the back porch, we were greeted by Edward, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper. My shocked eyes softened a little bit knowing Edward had gone and gotten our support group.

"So… our mom got knocked up." Emmett mumbled. Rosalie rushed to him and hugged him. Jasper walked over to hug me then clapped Emmett's shoulder in an apologetic way. Alice came rushing to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. Edward lit a cigarette and handed it to me before passing the pack and the lighter to Emmett.

I inhaled the smoke deeply, feeling the nicotine and tar assault my lungs. I held it a little longer than required, wishing it was weed instead. Alice noticed what I was doing.

"Hey, why don't we move this party to the balcony?" She announced. Everyone followed behind her up the outdoor stair case.

One of the greatest things about this sorority house was the giant wrap around porch on all three floors that could either access inside, or from the wooden stair cases outside. When we got to the second floor, Alice ran into the house and back out quickly with a bong in one hand, and my glass pipe in the other. We then all followed our march up the screened in section of the third floor balcony that served as an outdoor living room.

We all sat on the fancy wicker furniture, I on the love seat with Edward right next to me; Alice on Jasper's lap in one of the over sized chairs; Rosalie sitting on the couch with Emmett laying down with his head in her lap. Alice pulled the baggie of weed from her cleavage and packed the bowl of my pipe before handing it to me with the lighter she had also pulled out of her cleavage. I brought the pipe to my lips and lit the bowl, inhaling as strongly as I could. I held the smoke in and offered the pipe and lighter to Edward who politely declined with a head shake. Anyone else who was interested in smoking hit the bong and eventually, I spoke.

"I'm twenty one years old, and my mother is having a baby. My mother is forty years old, and going to have a baby. Does anyone else feel like this is the most fucked up Halloween ever?" I scanned the faces of my friends and family.

Alice, Rosalie and Jasper all had the same emotion in their eyes: pity. Emmett's eyes held contempt, and I imagine mine did too. Edward's eyes held a tiny bit of pity, but something else that I couldn't recognize. It was that same look they held earlier in the day, the look like he was discovering something truly magical. There was a spark there, but it was guarded, like he was hiding something from me. Or maybe he just hadn't realized whatever the spark was.

"I didn't even know she wanted more kids. I thought we were enough." Emmett whispered.

"Me too, Em. How are we even going to relate to this kid? I mean, we'll be in our thirties when this kid graduates high school. Will somebody else say something, please?!" I was starting to freak out a little bit. The calm before the storm had subsided.

In the last week of spending so much time with Edward, he had already become pretty attuned to my needs as my emotions changed. He knew also that he could calm me down with a simple touch when no one else could. He had become a source of comfort, and at that moment while he rubbed my back in soothing patterns and kissed my temple, I was the most grateful for his presence.

"I need to get out of here. I don't want to sit here at this party anymore." I said into Edward's shoulder. To most people the news of their mother being pregnant would be exciting.

Renee was not a bad mother in the typical ways. She provided for us when we lived with her, but when I was six and Emmett was seven, she left us and had been fairly absent from our lives after that.

She was a freelance writer and had gotten an assignment to go down to Arizona and interview an up and coming baseball player. She had to take about three trips, and from what we can gather, the time between those trips was spent with the ball player and my mother writing love letters back and forth and making many secret phone calls. After about six months of this semi-affair my mother left us for him. After being with him for two years, and not actually seeing Emmett or I even a single time, the ball player was in a bad accident on the field and screwed up his leg and shoulder. He'd never play ball again. My mom, being oh-so-generous, got him a gig at a near by scouting firm, and he worked his way up. That ball player is Phil.

It wasn't until Emmett and I were both eighteen that my mom brought up the idea of changing our last names to Dwyer. We actually got into a pretty heated argument with her about it, and then got our swan tattoos.

"Well, my roommate is out of town for the weekend, you guys are more than welcome to come there." Edward offered.

"Thanks Edward, that sounds… nice." Rosalie said. "I'm just going to go get changed." I had a pretty good idea of the reaction Rosalie would give to the underwear on the wall story.

Alice and I went downstairs after Rosalie to change our clothes and Jasper offered to drive Emmett to his place for a change of clothes since he hadn't hit the bong.

Edward joined me in my room while I changed. "Can I take these ridiculous ears off now?" He asked. I nodded and smiled. Pot made me quiet. He took off the whiskers as well. "Bambi, you do know that this isn't the end of the world, right?" I stared blankly at him.

"Yes. I know that. But you don't know what it was like having Renee as a mom. Everything has always been about her. What makes her happy, how are her needs met. Obviously her life doesn't have to revolve around me, I'm an adult. But I just don't want another sibling to have to go through that. Not to mention, she's forty. Do you have any idea what sort of complications there are for a forty year old pregnant woman?"

"I'm sure she's got great doctors."

"That's not the point. Everything about this is typical Renee. Entirely about her. She's not thinking about the fact that she's going to be almost sixty when this kid graduates high school. How bad is this kid going to hurt when its mother is either so decrepit that she can't stand at it's wedding some day, or that its mother will be dead before it even gets engaged." Call me morbid, but it's true.

"I see what you mean. Finish getting changed so we can get out of here." Edward picked up a t shirt from the floor and sniffed at it before throwing it at me. I sat on the floor to put on my shoes and we left out the back of the house hoping to avoid any confrontations.

When we got to Edward's place, we had a few minutes to ourselves. Edward sat on the couch and I laid my head in his lap while we watched _The Nightmare Before Christmas_. Half way through the movie Jasper arrived with take out Chinese, an eighteen pack of beers; and Emmett, Alice and Rosalie.

"Sorry it took so long, but I had to head back to the sorority house to get those two." Jasper gestured towards Alice and Rosalie with the hand that had one of the bags of take out. Then he held the bag up for Edward and I to see. "I figured ya'll could use some munchies and beer."

**Twitter: DaniVandal**

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	20. Gettin Laid and Killin Bitches

**LOVELY READERS!!! Guess what? Ya'll put me past 100 reviews!!!! I have the BEST readers (dare I say, fans?) in the friggin world! Seriously, I love ya'll! Also, Where You Least Expect It has been submitted and put up on a community! How super cool is THAT? And crap... now I forgot the name of the community... I'll get back to ya'll on that. **

**Sorry it's taken soooooo long to get this updated, but I have a little secret to divulge. Writing lemons is... weird. It's fun, but weird. I also try to avoid the common terms (like "cock" "heat" "core" "slick folds") because I feel like they're all really over used, and it makes my writing process take a little longer when the lemons make an appearance. There will be more from here on out, Eddie Baby has gained some confidence (sort of). It's also weird to write them with the hubs around. I feel like I'm doing something pervy when he reads over my shoulder. IT'S. CREEPY. **

**This chap is dedicated to my fuck-awesome beta and her mad beta-ing skills. She gets my shit to me FAST! (Ya'll should thank her.) And she's always got just the right piece of advice and knows when I suck and isn't afraid to tell me. (Maybe it's cause she's in Colorado and I'm in Florida and she knows I won't spend an ass ton of money just to beat her ass... who knows). This chap is ALSO dedicated to my chika up in South Carolina. You know who you are. And you better make it down here in Jan! **

**As per usual: I don't own Twilight. I do own a pair of AMAZING boots now, though! **

19. GETTIN LAID AND KILLIN BITCHES

That night, Edward was kind enough to let everyone stay at his place. Emmett and Jasper flipped a coin to see which couple would sleep in Tyler's room (after Eddie Boy called Tyler to see if this was okay) and who'd get the air mattress on the living room floor. Rosalie and Emmett got Tyler's room, but Rose refused to sleep in the bed until the bedding had been changed. Before bed, Rosalie made arrangements with Angela to finish off the party and said she and Alice would be there in the morning to help with clean up, along with Jasper and Edward.

I was so stressed out and exhausted at the same time that Edward insisted on drawing me a bath, and washing my body and hair for me. If I wasn't so tired I probably would've found the whole thing incredibly sexy, but instead it was just relaxing, so I sat quietly and let Edward bathe me.

When I finally got into bed with him, I spoke. "Thank you… for everything. For bringing our support group to us and for bringing us here and letting us all stay here."

He murmured some response into my hair, but I couldn't make it out. When I asked, he just smiled and said he was glad to help.

The next morning, Edward left me his car keys and Jasper drove him, Alice and Rosalie back to the house for clean up. Emmett and I went to brunch.

Neither of us said anything until we were seated in the booth of the restaurant. "How did this happen?" Emmett asked.

"You took health class. You know what causes pregnancy." I answered without looking up from my menu.

"Bee, that's gross. And it's not what I meant."

I laid my menu down and sighed. "I don't know what to tell you Emmett. This just further proves my theory that Mom is trying to replace her original family for a newer one. Sort of like upgrading your computer or getting a new car. You know how she is, in her mind its _The Renee Show_, and everything revolves around her. Did Dad tell you that she's going to be in Seattle for three weeks and asked him to go out for supper?"

Emmett's jaw just about hit the table and his eyes got bigger than my coffee cup's diameter.

"That was my reaction. I wonder if he knows…." I stared into my coffee cup while I waited for my brother to compose himself enough to say something.

"I don't think he does, he would've called one of us."

"Do you think we should tell him?" This wasn't about spreading gossip. This was about our father's sanity. Even though Renee had wronged him in so many ways, he still loved her. I asked him why once.

_"But Dad, I don't get it. She left you. With us. And before that, she was having some sort of long distance affair with the loser!" _

_"Baby Girl, you're only seventeen. I don't expect you to understand right now. But one day, if you ever have children," I snorted, "don't snort like that, you sound like Emmett when he eats. Anyway, one day if you ever have kids, _then_ you'll understand. It's a special place in your heart for the person who helped you bring your kids into the world. There's nothing like it. Does it mean I'd ever welcome her back? No. It just means that I can't find it in myself to hate her." _

It was the longest speech I'd ever heard my father make.

"I think we should. I think it would go over better if he heard it from us rather than her just showing up all 'surprise! I'm knocked up!' ya' know?" Emmett said before sipping his coffee.

Throughout the rest of our meal, we had decided that first; we needed to call our mom. We needed to find out some details before we told Dad, due dates and such. It was a phone call neither one of us really wanted to make, but we knew it was important. We also decided that we wouldn't let on to Mom how upset we were by this news. We had never hidden our emotions from either parent, but if we wanted to get all the information we'd need, we knew we had to act like this news hadn't fazed us in the slightest.

I drove us back to my house where we would make the dreaded call. When we walked in, Edward was walking around with a trash bag picking up bottles, cups and other trash; Jasper was cleaning the kitchen; Rosalie was vacuuming and Alice was moving furniture around the room for Rose. No one heard us enter because of the vacuum, so Rose shrieked when Emmett wrapped his big arms around her waist.

"Jesus Emmett!" she yelled as she turned of the vacuum.

Edward dropped his trash bag and practically ran over to me. "Hey Bambi." He whispered as he wrapped me in a hug.

"Hey Eddie Baby." I whispered back.

"Did you and Emmett have a good talk?"

"Yeah. Sort of. We need to warn our dad. Renee is going up there for business soon and wants to have dinner with him." I told him about our plan to get the information first, and then talk to our dad. He thought it was a good idea.

Emmett and I made our way up to the third floor balcony to make our call. We played "rock, paper, scissors" to see who would dial. I won, leaving Emmett to use his phone. It only rang twice before she picked up.

"Hey Baby! I'm so glad you called!" She squealed.

"Yeah Mom, me too. Hey I've got you on speaker with Bella."

"Wonderful! Hey sweetie!"

"Hi Mom."

"So how exciting is this?! A new baby brother or sister for you two. Isn't that just fabulous?" I heard a clapping sound at the end of her question.

"Sure, Mom." Emmett said.

"Hey Mom?" I asked, "When are you due?"

"May seventh! Isn't that so great? Emmett will be done with school, and you can take the summer off to stay with me and help with the baby during the summer! It'll be so exciting!" _Oh she's got another thing comin' if she thinks I'm using my summer to be her live-in baby sitter!_

Emmett noticed the look of disgust on my face and spoke up. "Yeah, we'll talk about that another time Mom. How's Phil dealing with the news?"

Mom rambled on about how excited Phil was to have the baby and something clicked inside my head. May seventh was only six months away. I didn't know much about pregnancy but I knew it was nine months, not six. I broke their conversation.

"Wait! Mom, if you're due May seventh… well that's only six months from now. Are you sure that's the right due date?"

"Of course I'm sure. We just had to wait until I was out of the first trimester to tell anyone. The risk of miscarriage is much greater in those first three months."

"So you're three months along then?" I asked.

"Thirteen weeks." I never understood women who said how far along they were in terms of weeks. Just say months, like a normal person.

"So do you know what you're having then?" Emmett asked.

"Oh no. We can't know that until I'm at least sixteen to eighteen weeks along." _Again with the weeks bull shit._ Emmett carried on the rest of the conversation while I chain smoked. He asked all the questions that I, as a daughter, should probably have asked.

About fifteen minutes later we traded "I love you"s and parted ways. Dad was all the way over on the west coast and this wasn't news we wanted to give him at the beginning of his work day.

I went into my room and laid face first onto my bed. Not even five minutes later, Edward came in and took off my shoes and socks before removing his and put both of us under the covers.

"So how'd it go?" he asked into my shoulder as he scooted closer to me.

"Eh. She's already like three months along. She was afraid to tell us before just in case she lost the baby or something."

"Yeah, the first trimester is when most miscarriages happen."

"I didn't know that until she told me. I feel like such an idiot sometimes." I slapped my own forehead and ran my hand down my face.

"Okay being inexperienced with pregnancy and babies does not make you an idiot." Edward laughed before kissing the part of my forehead I'd just slapped.

I'm sure it was all the pent up sexual frustration acting out, but I grabbed Eddie Baby's face firmly between my hands and kissed him with as much passion and heat as I had in me. I knew that he still had about a week left in the healing process of his dick ring, but I didn't think I could wait any longer. If Edward was ready, then that day it would happen. Right there and right then.

I sat up on the bed and pulled my t shirt over my head. I hadn't worn a bra and Edward gasped as my nipples perked at the cold air. I straddled his lap before I leaned down to kiss him again. I bit lightly on his lower lip before our tongues did the tango. I sucked his tongue into my mouth a bit, trying to let him know what I wanted. He groaned and I felt his impossibly hard dick twitch. He pulled away from me and wiggled out of his t shirt.

Shirtless Eddie Baby was my second favorite thing to look at. My first was completely naked Eddie Baby, of course. I sat up so I could get a better look at the muscled expanse of his torso. I saw his chest blush and leaned down to kiss right between his pecks.

He grabbed my hips and pushed me down onto his dick extracting a deep moan from my mouth. He sat us up and his hands slowly ran up my body, stopping with one hand on my breast and the other cupping the back of my neck. The hand on my breast began to massage gently and I almost melted at the touch.

We'd been sleeping in the same bed together without doing anything other than a few deepened kisses and it was sheer torture, this… _this_ was incredible and if it didn't keep going in the direction I was hoping for, I was sure I'd combust. It honestly felt like my vag was pulsing with the increased blood flow.

I was probably a lot rougher than I needed to be in unfastening his jeans. I heard him hiss twice but when I stopped he'd urge me to continue. I finally got his pants off but I sort of froze. I'd never been with a man who had a penis piercing, and I suddenly felt like an inexperienced virgin all over again.

"Shit." I whispered as I leaned my forehead against his hard chest.

"What?" He whispered back.

"I don't know what to do with it."

"I'm sorry, what now? You've expressed _exactly_ what you want to do with my Johnson many times before."

"That was before it was pierced. What if I hurt it?" I really didn't think I could handle it if I hurt that fucking amazing dick.

"So if I say stop, then just… stop." That was all it took for me to start back up. I scooted off his lap and he helped me get his boxer briefs off. I wish I had more to say about how amazing, incredible, mouth watering, and wonderful his rock hard, pierced penis was, but I don't.

I wrapped my fingers around his stick shift and he gasped. "Is that okay?" I asked.

"It feels… good." He whispered with hesitation, almost as though he didn't want to answer me.

I moved my hand up and down, careful not to go over the piercing. Of course I wanted to touch it. It looked awesome, but I wasn't sure if it would hurt him and that was a big concern. All I'd need was to touch him the wrong way and he'd have limp dick faster than I could apologize.

It wasn't long before he'd had enough of my soft movements and got hungry for more. He grabbed my hand and showed me how to gently go over the piercing.

"Like this Bambi." He groaned into my ear. He only had to show me once for me to get the hang of it.

I had just moved down his body and my mouth was a mere inch from his twitching hardness when there was a knock at the door. It made me want to cry.

"Bella, I'm sure you're… uh… busy… I just wanted to let you know you've got the house to yourself. All the roommates are going to be at the stadium for the carwash. No one will be back until after six, so… ya' know. Enjoy it."

I couldn't help but be grateful that Rosalie and Angela had put together a "day after Halloween car wash" to raise money for the local battered-women's' shelter. It was perfect considering how many cars got egg'd and TP'd on Halloween night. Most of the girls had already gone to set up before Emmett and I had even gotten to my place, and now everyone that lived in the house was going to be gone all day. I had all day to enjoy Edward… uninterrupted.

I smirked up at Edward and licked the tip of his cock. He let out a little grunt at the fast movement and I swirled my tongue around his tip. Down stairs I heard Emmett yell that he didn't think it was fair that I got to miss the car wash to get laid and he didn't. Then I heard a slap and a few curse words from him, and finally the click of the dead bolt on the front door.

I wrapped my mouth around his mushroom head and he threw his head back before letting out a big, pleasant sigh. I lowered my head slowly, so I didn't hurt his piercing. When I got to the barbell, I swirled my tongue around it. He hissed and groaned and wrapped his fingers in the hair at the back of my head. He cussed and said "Oh God that's so fucking good." I adjusted my neck so that I could deep throat him, and lowered my head further. Once I learned how, I'd never had a problem taking all of a guy in my mouth. It's really just a matter of relaxing your throat muscles and tilting your head ever so slightly in the right direction.

I could NOT take all of Edward in. That's how long he was. There was about an inch that I just couldn't get in. I tried, but it just wasn't going to happen. I raised my mouth, flicked my tongue on the barbell (gaining another "Fucking good" from Eddie Baby) and sat up a bit.

"You're huge." I said.

He sort of laughed and said "Um… I'm sorry?"

"I can't take all of you in my mouth. You're huge." I crawled up his body and leaned in close to his ear. "And I can't wait to have you inside of me. Please tell me you're ready."

Eddie Baby kissed my cheek then my nose, and finally my lips before looking into my eyes. "Yes."

I smiled so big I didn't think my face could handle it.

"But…" my smile faltered, "You have to promise me that… well… if I'm not good, or… if I do something wrong… You have to show me, okay? I want to make you feel…. Good, but I don't really know…" He stuttered and stammered and I couldn't help but smile again. It was so cute. I nodded my head and went back down to sucking him off.

I knew that Eddie Baby was going to be a two-pump-chump, so I had to either get him off with some of my fabulous blowing skills, or get him as close as possible. I knew that as guys got older, their ability to get off twice in a row went away, and he certainly wasn't seventeen anymore.

"Eddie Baby," I whispered, "you're not going to last very long. At. All. I can try to make you last longer by getting you off now, but you might not be able to get off again during, what do you want me to do?"

"Uh… ungh…" I guess I should've waited for his answer before I wrapped my lips around his dick again, because he wasn't really able to answer me. I sat back. "Um, I only want to get off if it's… you know… inside… you." He mumbled. He was impossibly cute.

With my right hand I worked on his hard-on while my left hand searched between my mattress and box spring for a condom. I know it's a strange hiding place, but it works for me. I found one and pulled it out. I sat up and started to rip open the package, but Edward grabbed my hand.

"Um, have you ever… not… used one… before?" He asked a little sheepishly.

"Definitely not. I told you, I was always smart."

"And you're on the pill or something?"

"Yeah, always I've taken it religiously. Why the sudden interest in my birth control methods?" I was getting a little frustrated. By this point he should've been nicely wrapped and nestled inside of my poon.

"Idon'twanttouseonewithyou." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry, what now?" I thought I'd heard correctly, but I just had to be sure. I couldn't actually imagine him saying what I thought he'd said.

"I uh… don't want to use one… with you." I was noticing a little trend with Eddie Baby. When we were both clothed, he was confident and sure. Take those clothes off, and TA-DAH! Back to the cute, but dweebie guy I met originally.

"Edward, do you understand what that means?"

"Yes. But… you've been with others before. This is my first, and I uh… want it to be some sort of first for you… too." _Ahhh. Now I get it._ He wanted it to be as important to me as it would be to him.

"Only if you're sure. I don't mean sort of sure, I mean absolutely positive." He got a strange look on his face, like he thought I was holding something back. "Look, I've never had any diseases or anything gross like that, I just want you to be sure that this is how you want your first time to be. You have to trust someone with every ounce of your soul to sleep with them without a condom."

"Do you trust me that way?" His tone was quiet, but it wasn't for lack of confidence. I hadn't honestly asked myself that question, but sitting there, faced with it, I already knew the answer. I wasn't sure how, but it was sort of a no-brainer.

"Yes."

He smiled. "Then we're good. Because that's how much I trust you." He pulled me down to him and we kissed… _hard._ Like nothing could ever break our lips apart. I felt something spark in our kiss, as cheese dick as that sounds. I knew something substantial had happened, something big had changed in our relationship.

"Eddie Baby, you should probably be on top for this." Being that it was his first time, I felt like he should be in control of the movements. Especially with the piercing, he could stop if something hurt or wasn't right.

"Oh… okay." He said.

I turned onto my back and he awkwardly hovered over me. His eyes locked onto mine, and I couldn't look away if I wanted to. I gripped his shoulders with my hands and hiked one leg up over his hips. The time it took him to actually reach my opening seemed to be devastatingly slow.

I felt the smooth, slightly wet, tip of his beautiful dick rest against my clit. He gasped a little at the contact and I felt his slide down to my opening. I was wet and ready for him and I wanted him more than I thought I was capable of wanting a person. He pushed into me a little bit and gasped again. His head was entirely inside of me, and I wanted to spur him on with my heel but I knew I should let him take his time and enjoy it.

Just as I felt the cool metal of his piercing at my entrance, my bedroom door flew open.

"JESUS FUCK!" I screamed at the ceiling with my eyes shut. I pulled my sheet over us and felt Edward instantly go limp between my legs. His face paled and he slumped down onto me. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" I screamed again, wishing I had locked my door.

"Oops." A nasally sounding voice said. "Hope I didn't kill the mood Bella." I looked up to place a face to the obnoxious voice, and to my great annoyance, it was Tanya. Her stupid red curls bouncing as she giggled.

She took in my murderous glare and gasped before taking off down the hall. I heard the front door open and then slam shut. _I will kill that bitch._

**DON'T HATE ME! I swear I'll make up for this ;-)**


	21. HEY LOOK an important authors note

OHMA GAAAAAAD!

I know, I'm a GIANT douche-caboose for not updating in a million years, but here's the thing, my two-and-a-mommy-isn't-counting-anymore son has been channeling the inner workings of a Chukie Doll.

Wanna know what that does to mommy?

It's simple really: it sends mommy into an _entirely_ new brand of crazy. A brand of crazy that's so far past the tiny droplets of bat-shit crazy, that I'm into the _ginormous_ turds of whale-shit crazy. _Whales _are_ the biggest mammals on Earth, right?_

Don't worry, Lovely Readers, I haven't forgotten about you and I haven't abandoned my story. I _have_ started a new story, but it won't interrupt WYLEI. I promise!

Now, I'm off to go listen to the loudest Foo Fighters song I can manage to drown out the screams of my own personal toddler-form Charles Manson. Yeesh…..

SMOOCHES! Dani.


	22. I'm such a guy sometimes

**LOVELY READERS! I'm a dirty whore. A nasty, skanky, dirty, trashy whore. Wanna know why? Um.. cause I haven't updated this story in FO-EVAH! Obviously, you FANtastic people got my last update/AN and thanks for sticking with me for so long! I SOOOOO appreciate it.**

**One of the main reasons I haven't updated is because Eddie Baby and Bee are just at such an AKWARD place. I mean... HELLO. And it wa really draning to write and when I did get the words out, they weren't right. I have seriously re-written this chapter GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES and finally, I just decided to put the most non-shitteous version out there and get on with these two weirdos' story. After all, my FUCKTABULOUS beta told me "Some chapters are just going to suck." AND IT'S SO TRUE. **

**Blah blah blah, I'm not Stephenie Myer. That bia gets her shit out WAY faster than I do. **

20. I'M SUCH A GUY SOMETIMES

I didn't pay any attention to any of my classes the next day. Even in my favorite class (Installation/Public Art) I couldn't focus. I was mad. I was mad at Tanya for what should've been the first of many, _many_ bangings. And believe it or not, I was mad at Edward.

After Tanya had walked in on us, Edward sort of freaked out. Fuck that, he _really_ freaked out. He practically jumped off of me once he saw the coast was clear and got dressed faster than I had a chance to even find my shirt, much less put it on.

"Edward!" I yelled. He stopped only for enough time for me to get a good look at his face. He was obviously terrified and embarrassed. "Calm down. People get walked in on all the time."

I stepped forward to try and comfort him, but he stepped back. I locked eyes with him to try and keep him steady, because in truth, he was hurting me. The rational part of my brain was telling me to let him take off and give him some time to chill. I mean, here was a guy who had barely even kissed a girl before I met him, much less gotten to home plate, and his first time was walked in on. He was obviously insecure, and Tanya had laughed. I took Tanya's retarded ass giggles for what they were_ her thinking she'd won some sort of game; he took them as being mocked._

But the part of my heart that I had unknowingly given him was starting to ache. I had just expressed my trust in him, I know it's not the same thing as professing ones love, but it's close. Like two steps away. And he was running out on me, and nothing I could say was going to keep him there.

At around nine that night, Edward called. I was sitting on the second story balcony in a pair of boy shorts and a t shirt, enjoying the breeze and alternating between smoking a cigarette and smoking a joint Alice had rolled for me; when his name popped up on my screen.

I snorted. "Yeah right. Not a chance buddy." I said before sending the call to voicemail. I was still upset, hurt and slightly embarrassed; and I really didn't think I could talk to him without yelling. Edward was the type who scared easy, and I have to give myself credit for at least acknowledging that fact before just going off on him. Five minutes later he called again. I curled my feet up under me and hit ignore again. I got another voicemail alert, and right after, he called again. This time, there was no voicemail alert.

Once I was done being upset, I got mad. I should've ditched classes because really I was just being a big bitch to EVERYONE I saw, but I thought that maybe if I went I could take my mind off of Edward.

My Installation professor noticed my distance and pulled me aside as I walked out of class.

"Bella, darling are you okay?" Aro asked. The first thing he did on the first day of class was tell us all to address him by his first name. He was a weird dude. He had long dark hair, that I swear to God he had to flat iron 'cause hair just wasn't that flat; he always wore black designer clothing; he wore flashy rings on almost every finger; and his papery white skin often showed signs of chemical peels that he tried to cover with foundation until the redness faded. I'd say that he wore mascara and some sort of lip color too. Creepiest gay guy you ever saw. It was known around campus that he and the Sculpture teacher were lovers, Caius, and he was just as creepy.

"Yeah… I'm good. Thanks for asking."

"Mmm." Aro touched all of his fingers together in front of his nose. "Yes, man troubles. Sweetling, let me tell you something about men. If they aren't smart enough to know a great woman when they see one, then you should just dismiss them."

I held back the snort that was building. If only it were that easy. If _only_ my problem was as easy as getting rid of some loser who wasn't worth my time.

"Thanks Aro. I'll uh… work on that."

"Of course, of course. Go on, sweet girl." He used both hands to shoo me out the door.

I walked home, thankful to be done with classes for the day, and contemplated my feelings. I wasn't so angry anymore, but still embarrassed and hurt. My emotions and their rapid rate of change were giving me heart burn. I walked into the house and ignored everyone, going straight to my room.

I threw my bag down and walked into the bathroom. I splashed some cool water on my face and then realized that _someone_ had been sitting at my desk when I walked in. I grabbed a flat iron to use as a weapon should the need arise, and with one raised eye brow I poked my head out the door.

Edward was sitting on my chair, at my desk. He looked lost, confused, exhausted, hurt, and embarrassed. I didn't know a face could hold so many emotions.

"I…" his voice cracked and he cleared his throat, "I walked here. I didn't think you'd come inside and talk to me if you saw my car." He spoke in a quiet, dejected tone and tried to avoid my eyes.

I sighed and stepped into the room. I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter, as well as my pot stash. "Come on." I said. I lead the way up to the third floor balcony.

I sat in one of the chairs, not ready to touch him again, not sure if I could without hitting him. I lit my cigarette and inhaled before tossing the pack and lighter on the table. Edward completely surprised me by grabbing a cigarette and lighting it for himself. He inhaled, and I was ready for the coughing fit that I was sure would start but it never did.

"You don't smoke." I whispered.

"I used too. Girls don't like it much, so I stopped a while back. I had a hard enough time getting dates without that too." He sighed. "I called you."

"I know."

"I was hoping your phone was broken."

"Nope."

"Are you going to really talk to me?" I could hear the frustration building in his voice, but I wanted it. I needed it. I needed to know that he wasn't just going to be his typical timid self. I needed some sort of strong emotion out of him that I could hold on to. Something that would make me feel like less of a bitch.

"What should I say?" I asked, hoping to egg on a tempter tantrum.

"Oh I don't know… let's start with why you're avoiding me."

I took a drag from my cigarette before looking him dead in the eye. "Because you made me feel like _shit_."

He looked at me, shocked at first, and then angry. "Oh really? Is that all? Because that whole thing in there," he pointed to floor below us with his cigarette between his index and middle fingers, "made me feel… Jesus, I can't describe it!"

"Let me tell you something you should know about sex Eddie Boy." I narrowed my eyes, "When you live with people, you get walked in on. Ask any girl in the house, and she'll say the same thing. I bet you've walked in on Tyler. I used to walk in on Alice before she started bangin' Jas at his place. Usually people aren't as rude as Tanya, but that bitch has zero class. But it happens. Usually people get a tad embarrassed and have a laugh about it later. But not you, nosiree Bob, you had to go and make me feel terrible about it. You ran out on me, Edward!"

"That's not how my first time was supposed to be!" He roared. "That's not how _our_ first time was supposed to be! Maybe you don't get it; maybe you're too busy trying to act like a tough bitch to understand that I'm falling in love with you! That I want something more than that from you!"

My mouth dropped open and I stared in awe. This boy, no, this _man_ was professing his love for me, and I was too screwed up to know what to do with it. I wanted to scream out in anger, I wanted to jump into his arms, I wanted him to make love to me, and I wanted to die of humiliation all at the same time.

I opened and closed my mouth a few times trying to find words. My brain kept failing me, telling me to run away instead, just like he had yesterday afternoon. My body was rigid and I began to sweat. I started begging silently for some sort of breeze to come through and bring me back to reality, where I was just a girl who was heavily in like with a boy she trusted and wanted to bone repeatedly. I bit the inside of my cheek, hard, just to make sure this was not a dream. When I tasted the blood I knew it was real. I started to feel nauseated from the taste in my mouth. My stomach churned and I knew it would only be a matter of minutes before I blew chunks if I didn't spit it out and _fast_.

I walked out of the screened portion of the balcony, all the way to the other side of the house where Edward couldn't see me. I bent down and put my hands on my knees before I spat the blood out and dry heaved a few times. I sat on the floor to get my bearings before I walked back to Edward. I'm not sure how many minutes had passed but I was startled when I felt a cool hand on the back of my neck and then one on my forehead. I closed my eyes and basked in the coolness on my skin.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "For everything. I shouldn't have run out on you, but I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry I just spoke to you that way. I'm sorry I called you a bitch. But mostly I'm sorry that _that's_ how you had to find out how I feel about you." I wished I had my eyes open to see him while he said these things, but I had a feeling it would've been harder for him if I was looking at him.

"I'm sorry too, about all of it." I felt more blood seep onto my tongue. "Damn it." I spit the blood out before it could make me vomit.

"Jesus Christ! You need to see a doctor!" I looked up at Edward, and aside from his alarmed expression he looked okay.

"No, I don't. When you said that you… that stuff I bit the inside of my cheek. I thought I was dreaming. I must've bit harder than I thought."

Edward let a small chuckle escape his lips before asking "Why on Earth would you think you were dreaming?"

"Because… you know." I waved my hand suggestively between us. I didn't want to say it out loud. Saying it out loud meant it was real, and that I had to acknowledge it. If I just didn't say it, maybe it would go away until later.

It's not that I didn't want to be loved, everyone wants to be loved. I just couldn't believe it was happening so _fast_. Edward and I had pretty much been inseparable for a month and I was great with that. Even though I was more sexually frustrated than a guy at a whore house who doesn't have enough cash to get more than a peep show, I was happy. There was much more than sex or fooling around with Edward. We got along, we joked, we cuddled; looking past the lack of sexual encounters, it was the perfect relationship. I just wasn't sure I was ready for love.

"I don't _know_ anything until you say it Bella." Edward said sternly.

I got up and walked back around to the back of the house and over to the screened portion of the balcony. I sat down on my chair again, still not really sure of myself.

"You said… you said you were falling in love with me." I whispered, hoping that saying it quietly was just as good as not saying it at all.

He put his head down and mumbled "Yes. And… that's true." A few seconds later his head snapped up and he spoke louder. "But you weren't supposed to find out that way. I wanted to take you out for a… romantic type night… before I told you."

I couldn't help but smile. "We should get out of here. Go somewhere we can talk and not get walked in on."

Edward grimaced, I'm sure having flash backs of the previous day. "Tyler's not home. We can uh… go to my place. I mean… if you want."

"Of course I want too." I smiled and stood up, ready to head downstairs. "Let me just get my purse from my room."

"Um… you can stay again… tonight. If you want. So, if you do… you know… you should get clothes." _And we're back to shy Eddie Boy._

I sighed. "Eddie Baby, if you want me to stay over, just say so. We're going to have to work on your assertiveness."

"I didn't know… the fight and stuff…"

I shook my head. "Eddie Baby, people fight _all the time._ More so, couples fight. Especially off balanced couples like us."

"How are we off balanced?"

"Let's talk at your place." I grabbed his hand and sighed in content. We went to my room so I could throw a bag together and surprised me by telling me I wouldn't need to pack any toiletries. "Yes I do, I hate your stuff. It smells great on you," it really did, he smelled amazing, "but it makes my hair feel funny and makes me smell weird." I scrunched my nose.

"No… I uh… bought a bunch of your stuff for my place. Last night… I was hoping if I got your stuff for my place, maybe you wouldn't want to… dump me or whatever."

Saying I was shocked would be an extreme understatement. No guy I'd ever been with had been that sweet before.

"You…" I walked over to where Edward was sitting on my bed. I straddled his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck before I kissed his lips. "Are wonderful." I kissed his lips again.

"Um… am I allowed to say 'I love you' or is that wrong?" He whispered into my neck.

"Edward…" I said in a strangled voice. "You can say… whatever… you want. I just can't say that back… not yet." I watched his face fall, but he nodded anyways. "That doesn't mean I won't ever say it back. You get that, right?" He nodded again and tried to smile.

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out before getting off of his lap. "Come on, let's get out of here. I'm stopping for alcohol, by the way. This has been the craziest past couple of days."

We weren't fixed yet, not at all. But we were closer, and now that I knew how Edward felt about me, maybe I could work on my feelings. Maybe if I told him that I _could_ love him, and sooner rather than later, it would be easier for us. It seemed that the main issue had been worked out, but I knew that I had a lot of work ahead of me. Edward needed to be confident, at least a little bit. The problem was, I didn't know how to get that out of him. _And maybe I needed to be less of a fucktard. _

**If you still love me REVIEW!**


	23. REALLY REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT!

**LOVELY READERS!**** Some of you may be aware that there's a group out called Literate Union that's reporting any fics with "explicit" scenes (aka smut) and having those stories taken down. I'm not entirely sure if my two little stories qualify to **_**them**_** *snear/snort* but just to be safe, I'm going to be moving my stuff over to ****www (dot) twcslibrary (dot) com****.**** My penname is still the same there, and it has pretty much all the same features as FFN does, only they have ratings that go up to NC-17. You can do author alerts and such just like you can on FFN. I know that a lot of authors are going to different sites because of this "Literate Union" group *scoff*. **

**I know I don't have an abundance of readers, but I started up a facebook page just for you guys to have more contact with me. The name is Dani Writes, just like my penname but with a space, and the pic is one of Robert Pattinson as Daniel Gale (UNGH even as a nerd he gets me all hot and bothered... hence WYLEI!) I hope to see you there!!!!!!**

**There is also a group on face book called "Illiterate Unicorns" that was started as a way to keep up with where all the stories are going once "Literate Union" accomplishes it's dumb as fuck mission and gets all the good stories removed. The group isn't for bashing, it's for giving everyone info as to where their favorite stories have gone. **


	24. Are we EVER gonna make a move?

**See Lovely Readers! I can update realtively fast if I get into my groove! And I gotta tell you, I REALLY did. I've already got the next chapter written, it's just waiting on my beta. And she's quick and awesome so it might even be up by later today! We'll see how good you are... And by good, I mean how many reviews I get... **

**So as I was moving this story over to TWC I realized a MAJOR mistake I had made. I had Eddie Baby smoking a few cigs in the story, and that's NOT AT ALL what was supposed to happen. What happened last chap, with Bella questioning him grabbing her cigarette, that is CORRECT. It's the other instances where he smokes that are wrong. So I'm going and fixing those. BIG APOLOGIES! I'm working on 3 stories right now, (one of which is not FF and will not be posted - but has my main male character smoking) and I just got them confused. **

**Per the norm: I don't own Twilight, but I own a lot of other things. I wonder if SM will trade Twilight for my Fender Telecaster? PFFT... right... I'm not givin that guitar up... (Twilight and it's respective characters are the sole intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Everything else is property of DaniWrites and may not be copied or translated without my written consent, which I do not give at this time.) **

21. ARE WE _EVER_ GONNA MAKE A MOVE?

It had been two weeks since our big fight. Two very long, _long_ weeks. Edward had gone back into his shell sexually, and I had only gotten to feel his hand down my pants twice. Yes, twice. Two times in as many weeks. _That ought to be crime against humanity._

When we had gotten back to his place that night, we had a long discussion about us and what we were to each other. That discussion was accompanied by two bottles of Jose Cuervo. But even with the booze, we got a lot out. I told Edward that I would try to not be as sexually forward as I had been as long as he promised not to freak out if awkward situations came, _pun intended._ We also agreed that he could tell me he loved me any time he wanted, as long as I wasn't pressured into saying it before I was ready. And even though it didn't really need to be said, we made it clear that we were in a committed, monogamous relationship. _Cue gasps of shock from everyone I know in five, four, three…_

For the entire two week period, I had been staying at his place and more and more of my belongings were making their way over. He had cleared out a drawer in his dresser for me, as well as made space in his closet. But when I tried to put tampons in his bathroom cabinet at the end of that two weeks, he _freaked the fuck out._

"Bambi! What the hell are these!" He screamed from the bathroom after a shower.

I had a feeling I knew what he was talking about, but really, what's life without a little fun? "Eddie Baby, seeing as how I'm in the kitchen and can't _see_ what you've got, I haven't the slightest idea." I sniggered to my self.

He came storming out of the bedroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, he was holding the box of Tampax Pearls (gotta get that super absorbent braid incase of leaks, don'cha'know) like they were a diaper filled with ten pounds of shit. And then he just dropped it, right onto the floor.

It was like he was waiting until he was close enough that he knew I would see the box before he let go of it. _Tampons don't carry the plague, sweet heart._ I snorted at my internal joke and Edward scowled at me.

It was really hard to keep fucking around with him in that towel when I all I really wanted to do was… well… _fuck around._ He had only let me give him head once, and I hadn't even heard him jacking off in the bathroom at any point in the two weeks, so I knew he had to be frustrated. _And now that it's November, I've officially gone three mother fucking months without sex. Thank you _nobody.

"Eyes up here, Swan." He joked. I groaned. "Why are those… things… in my cabinet?"

"Um, because I have a uterus, and ovaries… and I get periods?" I cocked my head to the side fully intending on playing this game until I couldn't any more. _Flustered Eddie Baby is fun._

"Well… you can't… you gotta…. DAMN IT! Those need to find a new home!" He was pointing at the offending box with a squirrelly look in his eyes.

Keeping my head cocked to the side, because it's just too fun to play with him, I said "And where do you suggest I put them Edward?"

"I don't know… um…" he scratched his head and looked around the apartment like he was actually trying to think of a better place to keep them.

"Edward, you _do_ understand that I need to use these when I go to the bathroom, right? I mean… I can't change my tampon in the living room or kitchen. And I'm sure as hell not changing them anywhere _near_ those underpants." I told him, making sure to point at the pair of the homeless man's boxers that he _still_ had hanging on his wall. _Nasty mother fucker._

He rubbed the back of his neck before mumbling a bunch of nonsense that I couldn't understand. I just stood and gawked at him waiting for clarification. Finally he groaned out "Fine. Keep your nasty cooter plugs in my damn cabinet," before storming back into his bed room.

He got ready for his tutoring session while I finished making the grilled cheese sandwiches and soup for our dinner. We watched some mindless sitcom while we ate and shared a deep kiss before I walked him to the door.

"This _is_ a male student, right?" I asked, mostly just teasing, but also a tiny bit curious.

"Why does _that_ matter?" He asked, looking truly confused. _Silly boy… you've got no idea just how cute you are, huh? _

"Well, last time you had a female student, look at what happened." I gestured to myself in what I hoped was in a nonchalant manner and quirked my eye brow at him. All he did was laugh and kiss my forehead before telling me he'd be back in a few hours.

And I had the most fun ever playing a prank in those few hours. As soon as I was sure he was gone, I called Alice.

"Alice, I need your help." I said. I couldn't disguise the excitement in my voice.

"Oh God… you're planning something just _awful_ aren't you?!" She let out a little laugh and I explained my plan to her. "Holy shit Bee, that's brilliant! Can I borrow that? Jasper is the _same way._ Do you think we have time to do both tonight?" I checked my watch.

"Only if you get can one more person, and more supplies." I knew she couldn't see the grin that spread across my face, but that didn't stop it from forming.

Twenty minutes later; Alice, Rosalie, and Angela had all shown up to Edward's apartment. I was surprised to see Rose, and even more surprised to see that she had brought more supplies. I gave her a questioning glance.

"Oh come on, you didn't think I wouldn't want to do this to your brother? And we're killing two birds with one stone because Ben lives with him, so we'll be able to get them both!" Alice and I laughed because my one little prank had turned into such a fiasco, but we both knew it was going to be hilarious, _to us at least._

We made a plan to start with Edward's place first, because it was likely he'd come home first. Jasper was working the late shift at Volturi and Emmett and Ben had some fraternity _thing_ at a local bar that girls weren't allowed to be at. _Yes, like a pre-teen boy's tree house._ Thankfully, I had a key to the frat house. Emmett had given it to me for emergency situations. _Maybe this isn't an emergency, but it'd be a crime not to do this. _

We went to work getting our supplies ready and I packed a bag of things to take back to the house, just incase Eddie Boy flipped his shit and didn't want me staying with him that night.

Once we were done, we all took an admiring look around the apartment. "I cannot believe how great this turned out." I said with a laugh, I'd never seen anything so ridiculous in my entire life.

"Thank God for Costco and their mass amounts of… everything." Alice quipped, garnering laughs from all of us.

We spent the next three hours doing the exact same thing to Jasper's small studio apartment, and Emmett and Bens' rooms at the frat house. We decided to go ahead and take whatever we had left over to decorate bathrooms and kitchen.

I gave Alice my bag and had her drop me back off at Edward's apartment where I found a hiding place in the kitchen, ducking below the counter top so that he would only be able to see me if he actually came into the kitchen. My plan was to pop up as soon as he reacted, he'd see me over the bar that separated the kitchen from the living space.

I waited, and waited, and waited for what seemed like for-God-damn-ever. I was battling with myself internally, whether or not I should call him. I knew if I did call him, there was a good chance I wouldn't be able to contain my excitement about the prank I had pulled, but I was also starting to worry. I decided on a text message.

_E- Starting to get a lil worried, bb. U gonna b much longer? – B_

When I didn't get a reply in ten minutes, I started pacing back and forth. _Fuck the surprise._ I called him. And got no answer. For the first time in what felt like my entire life, I let myself do something similar to praying. I begged for him to be okay to no one in particular. Just as I was going to start calling hospitals, the front door opened.

I turned around quickly with my eyes closed; frustrated that he was so late. "Damn it Edward, I was worried about you! Why couldn't you reply to my text or call?"

I waited for him to say something, but got nothing. Instead, I heard a loud _thud_ come from across the room. I opened one eye, and then both widened in shock.

"Oh my God! Edward, are you okay?!" I ran to where he was sprawled on the floor. I wanted to touch him and help him some how, but he was covered in_ bruises._ Ugly, large bruises. Black, blue, and grey splotches covered his arms and face. He had numerous cuts on his face, and his glasses were in his hand, one lens shattered. His left eye was swollen shut, and I knew he'd been kicked or punched with his glasses on because the bridge of his nose had a bruise the shape of the bridge of his glasses. There was a bright red rim around his eye as well, where the glasses were pressed into his skin. His knuckles were swollen, bruised and cut. His shirt was torn and there was what looked like a small burn where one of the tears was on his chest.

He opened his good eye to look at me and tried to put his glasses on, but kept wincing at the pain. Eventually he got them on. "There's my beautiful girl." He whispered and tried to smile. He glanced around the room as best he could and let out a low chuckle. "You decorated my apartment with tampons?"

"And maxi pads," I replied with tears in my eyes. "Eddie Baby, what happened? You have to tell me what happened so I know what to tell the police."

"No, no police." He tried to shout and his one usable eye looked terrified.

"Why? Edward, you've been beaten almost to death!" Suddenly I realized he needed the ER much more than the police. I ran into the breezy, outdoor hall and banged on his neighbors door.

A young dark haired boy, maybe sixteen years old, answered. "Um, yeah?"

"My boyfriend's been beaten really badly and I need help getting him downstairs to my car!" I shouted. The boy looked terrified and after a few short moments, a man, I'd guess was his father, came to the door and told me he'd help. Eventually Edward and I made it to the truck and the neighbor said he'd call the hospital and tell them we were coming.

Edward's head was rolling around in the seat and he groaned a few times. "It hurts to sit." He whispered. I could hear how hard he was trying not to cry and I bit my lip to keep from sobbing myself. We were stopped at a red light when I lit a cigarette, and nervously chewed my thumb nail between drags. I couldn't turn and look at him all broken. I cared about him entirely too much to see him like that. It actually physically hurt me to see.

When I accelerated, I felt his head hit my shoulder. When he didn't let out any sort of sound of pain, I got nervous. I lightly tapped him on the crown of his head, the only place I couldn't see a bruise, and tried to get him to wake up. There was no use, he was passed out cold. I let the tears that I'd been trying desperately to hold back stream down my face. I can't lie, I'd let a few escape up until that point, but I could really let them flow with him passed out. _I love you Eddie Baby. I swear I do. So much. Please, please be okay. _

**Twitter: DaniVandal**

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	25. I love him Oh God

**What's thiiiiiis? Two updates in one daaaaay? OH MA GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! No, this isn't an evil trick or an A/N, it's true... another chap in the same day. I had both of these written by late last night and Krisstar did her kick ass beta-ing and had them ready for everyone today. Actually, she had the previous chap ready yesterday, but my ass is LAY-ZEE and sat on it (cue mental image of Dani sitting on her laptop) until this morning. **

**Big fat thanks to my favorite people: Krisstar for her amaze-balls beta-ing; Daniellelucille for pre-reading and giving me shit to get this stuff out faster; Apricot30 for her sweet as pie reviews; EButler0220 cause it's a small ass world and I think it's funny; APM cause she makes me LAAAUUUGGGGHHHH (PS we're totally going to write that book about the creepy shit kids do); 107 cause she's 107 and AWESOME; TexasTwilight cause she's supportive and awesome; IluvTwilight2 and Watchmesin cauase tampons are funny... ADarnell cause I love new reviewers! and if I forgot anyone, I'm SUPER sorry. I forget EVERYTHING. **

**Has the music started yet? You know, the music... like at the Oscars... essentially telling me to shut my fat trap? Oh... it has? Right on. **

**I don't own Twilight. I do own more music than I can fit on my MP3 player... Time for an upgrade Hubs! (Twilight and it's respective characters are the sole intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. Everything else is the sole property of DaniWrites. No translations or copying permitted without my written consent, which I do not give at this time.) **

_Push in and I pull it away_  
_It a hard part but the true love way_  
_Till you want it like I want it now_  
_With your smart mouth and your killer hands_  
_With a potion oh that I have made_  
_For a young man its a heck of a wage _  
_And i feel crazy when I see your face_

_*True Love Way - Kings Of Leon*_

22. I LOVE HIM. OH… GOD…

I was at the triage desk of the emergency room, pacing back and forth and bitching at the nurse who wouldn't let me go back and see Edward. He had woken up twice in the car, and each time I almost told him I loved him. I didn't because I was afraid he wouldn't remember, and I wanted him to. I knew he'd want to remember the first time I told him I loved him. I know I'll never forget the first time he told me. Plus, I was _terrified. _

Ultimately, I knew he wasn't going to die. I mean… his injuries didn't look _that _bad. But on that same token, I didn't know how internal injuries worked either, and there was a good chance that there were quite a few. I didn't get to look at his torso at all, so I didn't know what shape it was in.

"Are you gonna let me go back there yet?!" I demanded of the nurse, pointing to the big double doors.

"No ma'am, and you need to sit down." I had already asked her this probably ten times in ten minutes and I knew she was getting frustrated, but she just didn't _get it. _

I slammed my hands on her desk and put my weight on my arms. "Look woman, I don't think you understand just how important that man back there is to me, and how important it is that I get back there." I glared down into her beady little black eyes, just daring her to tell me 'no' this time.

I could feel my blood pressure rising, my ears getting hot, and the throbbing in my veins. If she didn't let me back, there were going to be two patients. I felt my nostrils start to flair with my angry breathing.

"Um, let me call back and see his status… and I'll let you know." When she spoke this time, she was quiet and timid. I kept my eyes locked on hers while she picked up the phone and dialed.

She was quiet for a few moments before she spoke softly into the phone. She asked about 'Mr. Cullen' and I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I crossed my arms and made sure to flex my arm muscles as best I could. I didn't have much to work with, and wondered briefly if Emmett would start taking me to the gym with him.

After she mumbled into the phone for what seemed like an eternity, she looked to her computer. She typed a few things and I was getting more and more agitated. Eventually she looked back up to me to give me her God damn answer.

"It looks like he's doing well, and can have visitors, but I have to warn you, he's been sedated for the pain." I gave her a curt nod and started to walk away, but she stopped me. "Not just yet, I need you to sign the forms that he wasn't able to sign, since he was rushed in."

"Lady, that's gonna have to wait." I shoved my way through the double doors feeling her gaze on my back. I didn't care. There was someone important I needed to see, and I was tired of waiting for her.

Sure, I understood the procedures and all of that, I knew that I couldn't see him until the doctor had. I'd been in the ER enough times to know that, but after forty minutes with no word and not being able to go back I got antsy. Surely, given his condition, he had been seen by the doctor right away. There had been no reason to keep me back. None. At. All. So I started pestering Nurse Stupid at her desk. And I would've continued had she not _finally_ fucking let up. _I guess ten minutes of my most annoying behavior can get me anything I want._

I asked an orderly in the hall which room Edward was in, and he directed me down the hall and to the right.

When I got in the room, most of the lights had been turned off. Edward was laying flat on his back with a sheet and a light blanket pulled up to the middle of his bare chest and an IV coming out of the blanket where I was sure it was connected to his arm. I walked slowly to him, trying to make sure my shoes wouldn't squeak on the linoleum.

I grabbed the crappy plastic chair that was against the wall and pulled it toward his bed. The metal feet made scraping sounds that probably sounded ten times louder than they were due to the quiet of the room. I winced a bit when he stirred.

He sighed out "Bambi" and I felt my eyes start to dampen. _Get yourself together you God damn pansy. He needs you._

I sat still as stone in the chair, not really sure what to do. I'd seen people hold their loved ones' hands in movies and TV shows when they were in similar situations, but his arms were covered by the blanket. I didn't want him to get cold if I uncovered him, or worse, have my touch hurt him. I settled for crossing my arms on the bed and laying my head on them sideways.

I sat for a good twenty minutes, not moving and not taking my eyes off of his face, before someone knocked lightly on the door and came in. I sat up and felt the soreness of my muscles for staying in that position for so long. It wasn't until I felt the cool air on my face from the door being opened that I realized I'd been crying.

The man who walked in was tall and handsome, in a very classic way. He was the sort of man I always thought someone like Rosalie would end up with. The term 'tall, dark and handsome' fit him perfectly.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Garret." He stretched his hand out to mine and I shook it slowly while skeptically introducing myself. I wasn't sure what the doctor was in here for, I knew good and well about the HIPPA act, so there wasn't anything he could tell me. "My triage nurse had a lot to say about you." He smirked at me.

"Yeah well, she wouldn't let me see him, and I uh… I had to."

He nodded and looked through what I assumed was Edward's chart. "Do you know how to contact Mr. Cullen's parents?" I shook my head no and he hummed to himself. "Okay well, since you're the emergency contact we found in his wallet, I'm going to go ahead and tell you what sort of injuries he's sustained and how to care for him tonight."

I felt my jaw go slack. _He what?!_ I composed myself so as not to let on that I had no idea he'd put me as his emergency contact. Ultimately, it made perfect sense. His parents were in Maine and even though he'd known Tyler since they were kids, he didn't really seem like the type to take care of anyone.

I folded my hands on my lap and listened intently while Dr. Garrett went over all of his injuries. Thankfully, there was no internal bleeding. Unfortunately, there _was_ internal bruising. And he was peeing blood because of it. When Dr. Garrett mentioned that little detail, my jaw pretty much hit the fucking floor and I just stared at him. He patted me lightly on the shoulder and told me it was nothing too severe and that 'Mr. Cullen' would be okay.

I cringed every time one of these hospital people called him that. He wasn't Mr. Cullen. He was Eddie Baby. _My_ Eddie Baby.

The doctor rattled off a bunch of other injuries, including a broken hand and bunch of contusions and lacerations. Essentially, a shit ton of bruises and cuts. _Thanks for that Doc, because clearly I can't see these injuries with the eye balls that are in my head._ He told me that Edward had also suffered a concussion. I instantly started to panic.

"Well then why the hell is he sleeping?!" I yelled as I jumped up and pointed at Edward.

Dr. Garrett looked alarmed for a moment before he sighed and told me that doctors didn't really hold to that whole no sleeping thing any more, that patients didn't go into comas if they slept with a concussion. He also informed me that Edward would need to get as much rest as possible. He told me to make _sure_ that Edward took the pain medication he was prescribing every four hours to ensure that he heeled properly and quickly. He gave me a bunch of print outs for taking care of the cuts, as well as some supplies to care for the larger wounds.

I was puzzled when he handed me a small tube of burn gel. "He has cigarette burns on his arm." Once again, my jaw was at my feet. This time the look Dr. Garrett gave me was pure pity. _And I hate pity._ So I clenched my jaw and narrowed my eyes. He told me that he'd send in a nurse in a few hours to discharge him; that he wanted to monitor Edward at least until he was awake enough to talk a little. I nodded my head and settled in the damn plastic chair from hell.

I put my head back on my arms and watched Eddie Baby sleep for a little while and then got bored. I mean, I love the guy and all but _damn_ that shit is boring. And since I knew he was going to be okay, I figured I wouldn't be hurting anyone if I stepped outside to make a few phone calls. I gave Nurse Stupid the hairiest fucking eye ball I could on the way out. _Whore._

I lit a cigarette and called Alice. "Bella? How'd the tampons go!? Oh I bet he was _so_ freaked out!" I sighed and cut her off. I explained everything that had happened and where I was, leaving out the whole love thing. No one was going to know how I felt about Eddie Baby until _he_ knew. He deserved that after putting up with my shit.

"Oh my God… Bella, is there anything I can do? Are _you_ okay?" I sighed and rubbed my face.

"I'll be fine." I glanced around me to make sure no one was listening and whispered "Could you bring me a joint?"

"Sure sweetie. I'll be right there."

We said good bye, and I called Emmett.

He answered the phone, laughing big, boisterous laugh at something in the background. "Hey Beesley, what's goin on?"

I groaned because I could just hear the smile in his voice. I relayed everything that had happened.

"Damn it, Bee. Do you have any idea who did this? Cause I'll beat the fucker's ass." I was surprised by his statement.

"Naw, I don't know. He didn't really say anything other than how sore he was."

"Alright, well I'll be up there in about twenty minutes, I gotta get a ride from somebody here."

"No, Emmett, it's okay. Alice just pulled up, and it's only gonna be a few hours anyways."

"Is she bringing you weed?" I confirmed that she was, "Okay then I'll be up there. I don't think you should drive stoned right now. I know you do it all the time but you're too stressed and tired. I can tell." I sighed and relented, knowing fighting was useless.

Alice walked up to me and wrapped me in a tight hug and offered a sad smile while she wiped the smudged eye liner and mascara from under my eyes. "Come on doll face; let's go into my car real quick."

We went to her car and she drove around the block to park in a dark neighborhood where I smoked the small joint. We drove back just in time to see Emmett walking into the ER waiting room. I caught up to him and he wrapped me in a giant hug and I instantly started to cry.

Something about my loving brother always brought out any pent up emotions I'd been hiding. Alice handed me a tissue and I wiped my face.

"Have you called his parents?" He asked.

I sniffled, "No, I don't have their number and wouldn't even know what to say to them. I mean, I don't know if they even know about me."

"Well, now's the time to find out." I nodded my head.

I had no idea how long the phone call would take, so I had Emmett sit in Edward's room with him while I went outside with Alice to make the call. We sat on the curb as I scrolled through the contacts in Edward's phone, looking for something labeled "home" or "mom" or "dad". I eventually found "mom" and showed Alice. She nodded and gave me a sympathetic smile before wrapping her arm around my shoulders. _This is _not_ how I planned on meeting the parents._

The phone rang only three times before a woman with a sweet voice picked up.

"Edward, honey, why are you calling so late?" I checked my watch and sure enough it was after eleven pm. "Are you okay?" I could hear the concern grow with each word. I took a deep breath to prepare and heard her yell into the background, "Carlisle, come here! I think something's wrong with Edward!"

I finally spoke. "Um, this is Bella… Bella Swan. I um, I don't know if you know who I am…"

I was cut off. "Of course I know who you are dear. You're the pretty girl that's got my baby boy so smitten." I could hear her smile.

"Okay, I guess that helps… Um… there's been…" I almost said 'an accident' but that sounded so clinical and uncaring. "Edward… um… _shit_!" I heard her gasp. "I'm sorry… look I don't really know how to tell you this, like, _at all_, so I'm just going to tell you straight forward. I wish there was a nicer way to put it. Or that I had nothing to tell at all." I explained what had happened, leaving out the whole decorating his apartment with feminine hygiene products part and how I was essentially living with him. I didn't want to give up anything about our relationship not knowing how much he had told her.

I spoke mechanically, having already given this speech to too many people for one night. As I spoke I realized, once again, how little we knew about each other if I didn't know how much his parents knew about us.

When I finished telling her everything, the line was so quiet that I almost wondered if she had hung up. Until I heard her sob. _Bloody hell. I made the woman cry. Fantastic first impression there, B._

"I… I'm really, so, _so _sorry Mrs. Cullen. I wish I could tell you something better. I wish the first time I had a conversation with you didn't have to be about this."

She sobbed again and I just waited, leaning more into Alice. Eventually she quieted down enough to talk to me. "Its okay dear, this is in no way you're fault. I wish I could've spoken to you under different circumstances as well. Which hospital is he at, and what is the physician's name?" I answered her question. "Okay dear, thank you for calling us. Carlisle is going to call the doctor while I look up some flights to come stay with Edward."

"Um, Mrs. Cullen, I mean no disrespect, at all, but um… you really don't have to come down here. I'll take care of him. I promise."

She was quiet for a moment and when she spoke again; her tone was not at all nice. "I beg your pardon?"

"I'll take care of him. I have no problem doing this. He's important to me; I'll take care of him. The doctor has shown me everything I need to know and given me stuff to take care of his wounds and instructions."

"Uh-huh. He has, has he? Well is this _doctor_ aware of the fact that you, young lady, are not at all related to Edward?" _Jesus Christ._ "And why were we not called about this? Why are you giving me this information rather than the hospital? Why were we not contacted by the hospital the second he was taken in?"

The last person I wanted to be in that moment was myself. Because I had to tell this woman that her son had put _my_ name on his emergency card in his wallet. Not hers, not her husband's or daughter's… _mine._ But I had to, because otherwise she was going to be furious with the world, and that included Edward. And if I could channel that onto myself, I would. _Anything for Edward._

"Mrs. Cullen, they didn't call you because Edward put my name on his emergency contacts card. I'm…" I almost said 'sorry' but truthfully, I wasn't. Was I sorry that this is how she found out just how serious we were? Of course, but was I sorry that it was my name instead of hers, absolutely not. "Look, I wish we could have this conversation another way, but when I say he's important, I really mean it. He's a part of my family now."

"DID YOU ELOPE WITH MY SON?!" _That woman can scream like a mother fucking banshee! _

"What! Of course not! My God!" I shrieked out, probably as loud as she had. "Jesus, what I mean is just that, he's _that_ important to me. Listen, I don't want to fight with you or anything, so I'm going to go ahead and go."

"You just do that Bella Swan. And you had better have my son call me as soon as he possibly can. I won't book a flight just yet, but you bet you bottom I will if I feel like he's not being taken care of well." She hung up without so much as a "nice to speak with you."

I just stared at the phone, giving it the stink eye like it had personally offended me. Alice patted my back and smoothed my hair, pretty much having heard everything, and I heard Emmett clear his throat behind us.

"Um… he's awake." He motioned with his thumb over his shoulder to the ER. I glanced at my watch again and realized I'd been talking to that nightmare of a woman for an hour. I nodded my head at both Alice and Emmett and they let me walk in alone. _Time to spill the beans. You love Edward Cullen and he needs to know. He also needs to know that his mother is clinically insane, but that can wait for another day._

**Soo... I've gotten some reviews wondering when Bella will stop being such a bitch and complaining about her in general. The thing is, when I wrote this (well, write since I'm still going) I'm basically turning the roles around. How many FFs have we read where Edward is the ass-hole-bad-boy who sleeps with everything with a twat? And Bella is always the virginal-damsel-in-distress with low self esteem. All I did was reverse the roles. I don't really think Bella is all that much of a bitch... assertive and head strong, absolutely. Horny? Of course... she's 22 and in college and her boyfriend is super hot. I dare you to tell me that if you were her, you wouldn't be horny 24/7. I know I would! (In fact, the hubs gets laid every time I write anything close to lemons... lucky bastard.) So let's all just settle down Francis and let these two weirdos develope. (PS... I hope nobody's name is really Francis... I just pulled that from an old joke... DAYUM)**

**Twitter: Dani Vandal**

**Facebook: Dani Writes**


	26. No More Words

**Ok so… I could go into the long list of things that kept me from writing for the past year and a half to two years… but I'm sure that my life story is boring as hell to most people. The short story is, I got knocked up again, and the pregnancy was something from a horror story. In the beginning, very very beginning, there were two babies, then there was one. And the one had a crap ton of issues. Then she came early, and was in the NICU for 8 days. But she's amazing and such a fighter. She was supposed to be in a lot longer than those 8 days. Throughout all of this, there issues with Mr Knife Wielding Hooker. Those are pretty much worked out. And the baby? She's about to be a year old. And you'd NEVER know she had all those issues. But she's got this tumor thingy on her head. It's not a dangerous one, and should fade as she gets older, but it's had a few complications. So she's been undergoing a few procedures to try and shrink it and possibly even remove it. We get a lot of dirty looks about it. People are ass holes.**

**I hope that these two characters still have your attention. I'm sure you'll have to skim through for a refresher.**

**To be quite honest, the fandom just burnt me out for a while there. I had so much of this real life crap and when I tried to read or write, it just wasn't there. **

**One last thing to make note of: I have grown tremendously as a writer. So what you read of this story from here on out is just… going to be better. There's no other word for it. This was the first fic I ever wrote, and when I look back, I'm sort of ashamed at how spazz-tastic it is. But I've got some other stories I'm working on (two). And they're so much better. But I simply cannot post them until this is finished. I owe it to myself and to the Lovely Readers. So my plan is to wrap this up in about 5 chapters. It's been quite the ride. I hope you'll finish with me. **

**As always, the characters belong to Meyer. The rest is all mine.**

23. NO MORE WORDS.

When I got into Edward's room, he was sitting up but seemed completely dazed. _That makes two of us._ I didn't know how to do any of this, and the further into the room that I walked, the more I realized that the hospital was the _last_ place I wanted to tell him how I felt.

"Hey." I whispered.

He winced. "I look that bad, huh?"

"Not bad. Just really fuckin' rough. How do you feel?"

He quirked his eye brow at my dumb question. Of course he felt awful. "Um… confused. Those Percocets are funny pills." He grinned.

A few moments later a cop walked in. As much as Edward didn't want anything to do with any cops, the hospital insisted. I would've put up a fight for him, but he told me to just let it go. The cop got Edward's statement and said he'd send a nurse in. The nurse checked his vitals and said she'd talk to the doctor but that she was pretty sure he could go home. I sighed in relief.

Two long ass hours later, I was finally pulling my truck around. The whole process had sobered my up considerably, so Emmett felt no need to drive us home. Edward blushed furiously at being pushed out of the ER in a wheel chair, but didn't fuss too much about it. I figured he was hurting that bad.

He grimaced and groaned when he got into my truck. "Sitting hurts my back so fucking bad." He said.

"I'm so, so sorry Eddie Baby. When we get home, I'll get you an ice pack and shit."

"You don't have to do that. Just… just lay with me in bed."

I nodded and drove us back to his apartment. It took him a while to get up the stairs, but once he made it to the top, he got into his place and into his bed in damn near no time flat. _We're home, in his bed. Is this the time? Fucking hell, why is this so hard?_

I'd never been so at war with myself. And I've been in some fucking crazy situations. I went to my bag and brought out my drawing pad and my charcoal pencils while he slept. I drew him, of course, all peacefully sleeping and adorable. I paid careful attention to the way his lips parted and how his tongue rested against his bottom teeth. I didn't draw the bruises. The sun started to come up and I realized exactly how damn exhausted I was. I curled up into a ball on my side, facing him and ran my finger down the bridge of his nose.

"I love you." I whispered. Maybe it was a cop out that he couldn't hear me. I didn't care. I said it, and I felt better.

He mumbled "Bambi" in his sleep and his brow furrowed. I fell asleep.

I woke up around noon when Edward was slowly getting out of bed. I groaned and rubbed my eyes.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." He said softly.

"It's okay. How do you feel?"

"Like I've been hit by a truck." He fumbled around the side table for his glasses. He groaned when he saw that one of the lenses was completely destroyed. "Fuck!"

"Hand them to me." He handed them over. "I'll head to LensCrafters today and get you a new pair, okay?"

"I only get one pair a year with the insurance." He scrubbed his hands over his eyes.

"It's okay. I've got it." I got him his pain pill and some water from the bathroom. He took them and I got dressed. "If you're a good boy and try to relax, I'll bring you home one of those black and white cookie things you love so damn much." I winked at him and he smiled.

"Alright."

I walked him to the living room where he camped out on the couch. I set up the Xbox for him and got an idea.

"Hey, Eddie Baby." I called from the door. My heart was hammering in my chest, and while this was yet another cop out, because I was leaving as soon as I said it. It was probably the worst fucking idea ever, but it would work for me. _God, Buddha, Allah… whoever… I promise, if you let this happen and let me walk out that door as soon as I say this, I swear, I'll be good. Maybe not for long, but I'll be good for as long as I can. I fucking swear it. _

"Yeah, Bella?" he called back.

"Um… I, uh… I love you." And I slammed the door before he could say anything.

The drive to LensCrafters was spent with me chain smoking and chewing my thumb nail between puffs. At red lights, my knee jumped uncontrollably. The whole fucking point to how I did this was so that I'd have time to chill out before I went and talked to him about it. That was how it was supposed to happen because that's how I'd fucking planned it… sort of. Now I was just fucking nervous as hell. I knew he loved me back, he told me that all the damn time. Why the hell was I so nervous? Would he be mad at me for how it happened? I had no idea.

The lady at LensCrafters was sort of a bitch, but I got them to figure out his prescription. They were pretty sure they'd be able to just replace the lens, but I told them it was okay if they had to replace them all together as long as they got the same frames.

I contemplated wandering around the mall until the glasses were ready in an hour, but decided it was best to not put off the inevitable for too long. Not to mention, I really, really didn't want to see a bunch of teenaged twatwads hanging around in that place. So I stopped at Starbucks for a coffee for myself and the cookie I'd promised Edward.

I stood at the door for a good fifteen minutes before I actually opened it. _Maybe he's completely stoned from those pills and he won't remember._ I opened the door with that little morsel of hope.

"It's about time you came back. You wanna tell me what that was about?" His arms were crossed over his bare chest and his hair was sticking straight up and out. He was so hot.

"Um…" I shifted from foot to foot trying not to look at him, but I couldn't help myself. "I'd pretend to not know what you're talking about, but we both know that's just going to piss you off. I got you a cookie, like I promised."

He ducked his head a little as I walked to sit on the opposite side of the couch from him. "You said you love me."

"Yes." I nodded.

"Why? Why did you have to do it like that?" He ran his hands through his hair a few times.

"Because… I don't know… it just, it's stupid, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. If I said it like that, we wouldn't have to sit down and have this whole fucking heavy conversation. You know I don't do the heavy." I fidgeted with a string on my jeans.

"Why would it be heavy? I love you… and you told me you love me back. That's not heavy. That's… that's the greatest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. Nothing will ever top that." He sighed. "I should probably just be happy, huh?"

I looked him in the eyes. "I was hoping you would be. I know you love me. You tell me all the fucking time and I love hearing it. It just… took me a while to catch up or some shit."

"Come'ere." He said and grinned, while he opened his arms wide.

I crawled on the couch to where he was and tried to lightly curl into his chest. We both ignored the way his muscles tensed and flexed, and I pretended not to hear the hiss. Clearly we needed to be connected.

"Well this blows." I said.

"Uh… I'm sorry?"

"Every-fucking-thing is keeping us from… well… fucking! I just told you I love you and I can't even have sex with you cause you're all broken and crap." I huffed and pouted.

"You're cute when you pout." He kissed the side of my head. "We'll do it soon, okay? We've waited this long…"

I groaned. "I know… but now you're all bruised and tough looking… it's making me really horny. And I'm all 'I love you' and shit…" I sighed, "We should _so_ be having sex right now."

He laughed. "I told you, soon. As soon as I don't feel like road kill anymore." He leaned his head on the back of the couch for a moment. "Hey! Where's my cookie?"

I grinned and handed him the cookie. We talked a little bit more about nothing really. I felt compelled to tell him 'I love you' every few minutes. I think it was driving him nuts, but he'd never say so.

Tyler showed up with take-out sometime after dark. Edward told him everything that happened over the meal. I think Tyler and I grimaced at the same points in the story. After Edward took another pill, we fell asleep together in his bed.

The next morning, I was woken up by an obnoxious ringing.

"Hullo?" Edward mumbled into his phone. I kept my eyes shut and burrowed further into the bed. It was too fucking early. "Yeah, Mom, I'm fine." I heard a yell through the phone. "I said, I'm _fine_. Bruised, banged up, but functioning." He waited a few moments. "Of course you spoke to the doctor. Yes, there's a concussion; yes, there's some internal bruising and yes, there's a few cigarette burns. No, I have no idea who did it. That's all I've got, Mom." His voice seemed to be getting more and more agitated and it was clear that I wasn't going to get anymore sleep. I went to his laptop and checked my email. I had something from my dad. "Yes, Bella has been taking fine care of me." He glanced at me and smirked. I stuck my tongue out at him and shoved my finger up my nose. His voice lowered to an unpleasant tone, "I heard. You might want to keep your opinions of her to yourself though, Mom. She's here to stay."

I paled at that. I knew I loved him. I knew he loved me. I knew I wanted a future with him. But hearing it laid out there like that to his mother? Once again we were back to the heavy. I grabbed my cigarettes for a smoke on the balcony.

Half way through my cigarette, the door slid open. "Sorry I had to…" I stopped when I turned and saw it was Tyler. "Oh. Hey, what's up?"

"Nothin'. Is E doin alright?" I nodded and puffed on my smoke. "Can I bum one?" I handed him the pack and my lighter.

We smoked for a few minutes, the balcony filling with a grey haze.

"So…" he started. I looked at him expectantly. "I'm not coming back after this semester." My jaw dropped. "Edward doesn't know. I love him like a brother, but… everything I've done here? It's been fucking great, but he and I both know I haven't gotten shit for an education. Not because of the school, but because I just… I don't belong in college." He shook his head.

I took another drag of my smoke. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

"I guess I can't ask you to tell him for me, can I?" I shook my head and he chuckled. "I thought not. I was gonna tell him soon. It's just hard. I promised his parents I'd watch out for him here." He looked me up and down. "I guess you can handle that, though, can't you?"

"I guess I can." I smirked.

He smiled back. "You're a good chick, Bella Swan. Real good." He nodded. I scrubbed out my cigarette on the balcony floor while he finished. "Will you help him move into a smaller place?"

"If that's what he wants, sure."

"Good."

"You're not even going to stay long enough to help him move?" I scrunched my brow.

"I can't. My uncle's got a job lined up for me on a lobster boat up in Maine. I've got to leave pretty much as soon as my finals are over." I laughed. "What?"

"I can't picture it. You on a boat, wearing those funny rain suits and shit."

"I've worked on fishing boats during the summer since I was about fifteen." He smiled. "I love it. And it's good money. I'm telling you, Bella. I just don't _belong_ here. Have you ever been somewhere you just didn't belong?"

I stared him in the eye, wondering how he knew my sorority secret. Thankfully I didn't have to answer him, as Edward opened the door.

"Hey. Sorry about my mom, Bella. Wanna go get some breakfast? I'm already going a bit stir crazy in this place."

"Sure." I got up and brushed of my sleep shorts from where I'd been sitting on the ground. Edward didn't have any patio furniture. When I stood, I kissed Edward's lips before leaning to his ear. "I love you, Eddie Baby."

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